


In Regards to You |Tsukishima Kei|

by MMZelda



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Adorable Sister, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Bullying, Childhood Trauma, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Roller Coaster, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Angst, Hospital, Illness, Injury, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, It gets really sad, Karasuno, Manager - Freeform, Name-Calling, Nicknames, Notes, Past Character Death, Post-Divorce, Relapse, childhood illness, past trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 48,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27597316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MMZelda/pseuds/MMZelda
Summary: |Tsukishima Kei x Reader|"When I said your pain is mine, I meant it.   I would rather die a thousand deaths than see you unhappy."(L/N) (F/N) was prepared for her first year in high school to be decent at best.  It wasn't supposed to be perfect but also not what it turned out to be.  She wanted to live the best she could before her life ran past her.  With these strange notes, a crush unrequited, and time flying away, (L/N) (F/N), her best friend, Himura Yoru, and the tall skinny blond named Tsukishima Kei are in for a ride of love, heartbreak, and the life of a teenager.All characters from Haikyuu belong to the rightful owner of Haruichi Furudate.Sensitive topics are covered in this fanfic.Updates usually Sunday and crossposted with Wattpad.
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Reader, Yachi Hitoka/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 33
Kudos: 69





	1. Shortie

**Author's Note:**

> Part 1:
> 
> "And up until now, I had sworn to myself  
> That I'm content with loneliness  
> Because none of it was ever worth the risk."  
> -The Only Exception (Paramore)

_Tsukishima Kei,_

_Words cannot express how much my life has changed with you around. Not to be cliché, but your friendship, and later your love, made the clouds part. I could see the sun. I could bask in the fleeting and silver moonlight._

_Little did you know, I would stare as you smiled, even to the point of me wondering had I lost my mind. Your smile was a rarity and a beauty. If you had told me on the day we met that I would fall madly in love with you, I would have laughed. After all, how could I love someone I just met?_

~*~*~*~

"Tsukishima-kun?"

"Huh?"

"I was wondering you and Yamaguchi-kun would like to eat with (Y/N)-chan and me?" Himura Yuro looked at the blond with expecting eyes. She shifted between her feet, nervously. As for Tsukishima, he just put back on his headphones and looked back out the windows.

(L/N) (Y/N) giggled behind her gaping best friend. "I told you you should have asked Yamaguchi-kun. He seems like the friendlier one." (Y/N) wrapped an arm around Himura's back. Glancing at Tsukishima, she rolled her eyes. Even she saw this outcome coming, and that was saying something. She wasn't the most socially aware person after all. "So, Yamaguchi-kun?" the girl asked turned towards the green-haired male. "Want to eat with us? Yuro-Chan's been waiting to make new friends since we graduated from middle school. Says it's apart of the high school experience."

The brunette pouted and smacked (Y/N)'s hand. "You make it sound as if I want to leave you."

"I know you would never leave me, Yuro-chan."

Yamaguchi stares at the two of them and laughs quietly. "Of course, I will eat with the two of you. Though, I don't think Tsukki is up for it."

"Let him do what he wants. Perhaps, he'll join us later."

"Let's eat on the rooftop!" Himura shouts with her fist in the air.

"What's this? Another part of the high school experience?" (Y/N) asked while ruffling the taller girl's hair.

"Shut up! Don't tell you hadn't thought about it because we both know that's a lie."

(Y/N)'s laughter rings throughout the classroom. "Maybe, but I'm not obsessed with it like you are. Let's just go eat. I'm starving." The girl grabbed her bento box off of her desk and waited for the other two first-years. Yamaguchi and Himura struck up a conversion that she didn't care to listen to. 

Instead, (Y/N) stole another glance at the blond boy. His Somy headphones rested gently over his ears. His pointer finger tapped to the beat. His arms were crossed over the other. His mouth was pressed in a fine line.

She knew that he would be the character in a shoujo manga that the girls all seemed to like. But, he was untouchable. So untouchable that only the main female lead could really talk to him and understand him.

Normally, she wouldn't have even thought twice about a guy that didn't seem to like anyone. She wasn't going to invade anyone's space if they wanted to be alone. But, (Y/N) knew sooner or later, Himura would be talking to him again. Her best friend wanted to know everyone in the class, after all. 

(Y/N) sighed and rolled her eyes at Tsukishima. _'Why must everything be so difficult?'_

~*~*~*~

"(Y/N)-chan! Can you help me with the systems of equations part of the homework? I don't remember how to do it." Himura pouted as laid her face down (Y/N)'s desk. Her black hair fell off the desk like a waterfall. In her right hand was the paper the teacher gave for refresher from all the years of middle school math. 

(Y/N) twirled Himura's hair and laughed. "Of course, Yuro-chan! We can't have you failing on the first day!"

Himura looked up at the (H-C)-haired girl with sparkles in her eyes. "Really?"

"Really."

"Oh, thank you!" Himura wrapped her arms around her best friend and giggled. 

The rest of the people in the classroom chatted. Some worked. Others pulled out their phone and texted. They had a short break before the next class. Most of their teachers were giving them reviews of the past few years. Others gave out a syllabus and started teaching right away. Overall, the day was fairly easy and they only had one class left. 

(Y/N) was glad of how easy it was. Japanese class was chill. The science teacher seemed like a lot of fun. History was the same as always. Math was easy with it being just simple Algebra. Only English was left. 

Himura always had trouble with Math. (Y/N) was there to help her, but her mind was like a squirrel's when it came to math. She could hardly remember formulas. 

(Y/N) on the other hand loved math. Unlike Japanese and English class, it made so much sense. It was straightforward and always had one right answer. She had enough uncertainty in her life, and she hated that it had to be on her school tests.

"Now, Yoru-chan, there are three ways to solve systems of equations: Graphing, Elimination, and Substitution. Most commonly, you're going to do Elimination to find either the x or y, then, use that for substitution. Most teachers don't really want their students to do graphing.

"Look at the first problem. Where would 6x-2y=18 and -2x+8y=12 intersect?"

"Umm..." Himura placed the two equations on top of each other, times the second equation by three and canceled out the x's. After she found the y, everything went downhill. "This doesn't make sense, (Y/N)-chan! Why is the first problem so weird?"

"Ugh, tell me about it. Fractions in equations are the death of me." (Y/N) picked up the pencil and continued the rest of the problem. "See, the two equations would intersect at (42/11, 27/11)." She pulled out her graphing calculator. "If you want to check your work, put the y by itself and put the equation into the y= menu." (Y/N) put the equations in and smiled at her work. The lines intersected at the same point she got. Her math skills hadn't dwindled at all over spring break.

"Oh my gosh, you got it right, (Y/N)-chan! Amazing!"

"Wow, you actually got it right. And here I thought you were just a simpleton with only food on her mind." Himura gasped. (Y/N) popped an eyebrow at the deeper voice. She could only assume the person that said that was behind her. A shadow was cast over her desk, and she could feel that it was someone tall. 

Turning around, (Y/N) met the face of none other than Tsukishima Kei. He smirked when he saw her annoyed expression. She didn't notice it before but the blond was over 185 cm. It was a little intimidating. She swallowed and stood up. Looking up, she said, "You got a problem with me being smart, Tsukishima-kun? Could it be that you had trouble with that question? I'd be happy to help if you were struggling."

He clicked his tongue. "Don't think you're so high and mighty, shortie. Math can't make you any taller." 

"Don't call me short..." (Y/N) looked away. The look in her eyes was distant. Even Tsukishima was taken back by it. Himura and Yamaguchi looking on started to panic a bit. 

"Hey, hey, it's alright. I'm sure he didn't mean it," Himura said while glaring at Tsukishima.

"Yeah... Tsukki can be rude, but he's not serious about it," Yamaguchi joined in.

"Don't throw me under the bus like that," Tsukishima sighed. "Whatever. English starts in a few minutes. I don't have time to worry about this." He raised his hand as if to say goodbye and moved back to his seat. 

(Y/N) really wasn't paying any attention to Himura and Yamaguchi. Sure, she knew they were trying to comfort her, but she didn't care. She was fed up with people pitying her. Tsukishima just hit a sore point, a sore point from the last year of grade school. 

"I'm fine, Yamaguchi-kun, Yuro-chan," (Y/N) interrupts. The two look at her expectedly. The girl shakes her head. "Really, there's nothing to worry about. Standing at 150.3 cm is just an insecurity of mine. I know he was just teasing."

"Are you sure, (L/N)-san? I can talk to..." Yamaguchi offered before he was interrupted by the teacher.

"Really? It's only the first day of school, and you're already unruly and not prepared." The bell rung as the teacher approached his desk. Yamaguchi waved and rushed to his seat. Himura did the same as (Y/N) stood in front of her chair. The class bowed and sat. "I expected more from a college-prep class. I hope you'll learn, and this doesn't happen again. My name is Aiwa-sensei and I will be your English teacher for the year. Let's go over all the materials we will be reading this year."

~*~*~*~

As soon as English class ended, (Y/N) gathered her stuff and headed out the door. One step into the hallway, and someone grabbed her wrist. "(Y/N)-chan? Are you already leaving?" The (H/C)-haired turned to her best friend and tilted to her head to the side. "Yamaguchi-kun invited the two of us to join him and Tsukishima-kun at a café not far from here."

(Y/N) looked past Himura to see the two guys looking at her. Their stares made her blush a bit, not used to the attention. Tsukishima glared, though. This obviously was not his idea. 

Her hand scratched the back of her head. "I'm sorry, but I have a doctor's appointment. I'll have to join you another time." She continued on her way before yelling back, "Have fun without me!"

"Doctor's appointment?" Yamaguchi asked Himura. "On the first day of school?"

Himura shrugged. "Probably an appointment with her neurologist. Maybe her last one. She did say she was having way less migraines in third-year than in our second-year."

"Oh! Sorry for asking..."

Himura laughed and placed a hand on Yamaguchi's shoulder. "You didn't know so there's no need to apologize."

"Hey. Let's hurry up before we're stuck behind everyone leaving," Tsukishima said. A scowl was written across his face. 

He really didn't want to go to the café. It was a waste of time. But, he didn't have an excuse to tell Yamaguchi to get out of it. Himura seemed nice enough and seemed like fast friends with Yamaguchi. If he left them alone now, it would seem like a date. It would be great teasing material. But, he couldn't do that to Yamaguchi. 

As for (L/N) (Y/N), he didn't really know what to think of her. She was like an excitable kid, but at the same time, like Yamaguchi. She seemed kind and hyper, smart and open-minded. Tsukishima regretted calling her short. For once in his life, he left like he shouldn't have teased someone. The look in her eyes at that moment was the eyes of someone who saw Hell. Someone who had been pushed to the edge. 

It was a look he knew well.

Why would one simple word of short cause such a reaction in her? Perhaps, Tsukishima was looking too much into it. But, there was a hunger. There was a yearning to help this girl that he just met that day. Perhaps, it was because in that moment, he saw someone different.

Sighing, he grabbed his stuff, looked at her empty seat one last time, and left for his locker.


	2. "Admirer"

A week had past for the four teenagers in class 1-4. The first week was uneventful. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi ended up joining the volleyball club like they had in middle school, and Himura ended up in the photography club. (Y/N) decided not to join any clubs for the current moment, which triggered an uproar from her high-active best friend. The girl gave the half-assed excuse of she didn't feel up to stay too long after school. They left it at that, but it seemed questionable. The boys just assumed that if Himura didn't think anything was wrong, it was best not to push for a better reason.

As he did on the first day he met her, Tsukishima thought of (L/N) (Y/N) as an enigma. Every so often, she would lose herself from the conversation. Her eyes would be akin to those that she had when he called her short (a mistake he would never make again). He didn't want to stare. But, the girl attracted his gaze, and he was a loss for words on how to describe it. 

It was like that when he first Yamaguchi, too. The boy he saved seemed like a fragile leaf in the wind back then. Every so often, he would glance over just to make sure he was okay just Yamaguchi would do the same to him. Not that Tsukishima would ever admit to that. He had his pride to think about. Despite that, Tsukishima would stare because it felt like the moment he took his eyes off of him, Yamaguchi would vanish and break his promise of staying.

Was it the same with (Y/N)? She was definitely stronger and more confident than Yamaguchi was in past and in that moment. She wasn't going to leave. Tsukishima kept reassuring himself of that. Her presence would still be there the next day.

There was no need to worry.

~*~*~*~

Next class they had was gym. The assignment for that day was running laps around the gym. The coach said that everyone had to run for as long as they could then walk the rest of the time. He would time them and record everyone's times.

"Tsukishima-kun, how long do you think you can run for?" Himura asked. She clasped her hands behind her back and bounced on the balls of her feet.

"I don't know; until I realize this is just a waste of effort, maybe?" he responded, sarcastically.

"But, what if it's secretly a grade and you have to run for a certain amount of time?"

"If it was a grade, coach would have said something."

"Right..."

(Y/N) laughed. "Don't sweat it, Yuro-chan! Saltyshima just wants to get under your skin."

"Saltyshima?" the blond asked. He raises an eyebrow and places his hand on his hip.

"Yes, Saltyshima! Your alter ego in which you are annoyed with everything and don't give a crap about what you say!"

"Huh, I thought you moved on your simpleton ways. You haven't hanging out with Hinata, have you? His stupidity is rubbing off on you."

"See, there you go, again."

He rolled his eyes. "Your annoyance factor is in top condition today."

"Why, thank you!"

Tsukishima sighed as the coach yells, "Get ready to start running. Don't even think about stopping your movements. Even if you can't run anymore and your legs feel like they're about to fall off, walking is still way better for you than standing still." Coach blew the whistle, and all the more athletic kids took off. The boys of the class had a silent competition brewing between them. The smirks on their faces said that it was all to impress the girls.

Tsukishima and Yamaguchi hung towards the middle of the pack. They didn't bother with rushing ahead. Himura ran to catch up with them. (Y/N) took a slower pace.

After ten minutes or so, Tsukishima noticed something out of the corner of his eye. Coach had stopped (Y/N). She had already started walking a couple minutes before.

"(L/N), you feeling okay?" Coach asked. He placed a hand on the short girl's shoulder. "You're looking a bit pale."

And, she did. Her cheeks were slightly pink due to the running, but the rest of her face was white like a bedsheet. She took another step out of the way and winced as she put her foot down.

"I..." she shook her head. "I'm fine... Some rest might be good, though." Coach nodded and helped her over the bench. She smiled, though with a slight quiver of her lips. "Thank you, Coach Takenaka."

"Don't push yourself that much." With those last words, Coach went back to watching his students, occasionally yelling at someone to keep going.

"Look, coach is giving her special treatment," a girl nearby to Tsukishima whispered to her friend as they walked.

"Damn, and Coach said that no one was to stop," the friend said back. "Something going on with them?"

"Ew, that's disgusting. It's only been a week into school. There's no way someone as flat as her got laid."

"Bribery, then?"

"Perhaps, but just to the coach? It's not as obvious, but some of the other teachers pay more attention to her than everyone else."

"What?! That pisses me off. Some of us actually have to work, and she's already made her way through the whole..."

"Shh! Tsukishima-kun is right there! We can't let him overhear us!"

 _'Too late...'_ Tsukishima thought to himself. He scoffed as he jogged past them, fed up with their conversation. Coach saw that she wasn't feeling well, so he allowed her to rest. There was nothing wrong with that, but still, they twisted it like they were the victims. Disgusting. They were even apart of the group of girls that he heard the guys gossiping about in the locker room. How could anyone like bitches like that?

The vanity of the world was sickening. If they have a problem with something, say it to the person's face. Hiding things was just going to hurt them in the end.

Tsukishima took one last look at (Y/N). Her eyes were closed, and it seemed like she was controlling her breathing. In for four seconds through the nose, hold for seven, and out for eight through the mouth. It seemed a little ridiculous to him. It didn't look like she had trouble breathing. Maybe, it just took her mind off her discomfort. That's what he always used that breathing exercise for.

Not wanting to bother with it anymore, he jogged to catch up to Yamaguchi.

~*~*~*~

"I'm home!" (Y/N) yelled as she ended the house. After taking off her shoes in the genkan, she bounded into the kitchen. Her mom stood by the stove, still in her work clothes. Gently, she stirred in a pot.

"How was your day, (Y/N)?" her mom asked, looking over her shoulder.

"Good! I'm still a little weak from yesterday." She laughed drily and looked at the floor.

Her mom sighed, shaking her head. She turned around to face her daughter. "I knew I should have kept you home today. The fever you had yesterday after we came back really drained you."

"But, I had no fever today. Plus, I'd rather not miss that much school. It's annoying to do all your work at home."

"I know, love. I hope you don't have to that."

"Yeah..." (Y/N) ran her fingers through her hair. "Anyway, where's Ichika?"

"Up in her room. Don't tell her I told you, but I think she has a drawing for you."

(Y/N) snickered. "Don't worry; my lips are sealed." Her mom joined in the merriment and continued cooking dinner.

The (H/C)-haired girl tiptoed up the stairs and turned the handle of a door adorning a nameplate. It said "Ichika" and had a little flower by her name.

Inside the room was a neat little space. Shelves of books and DVDs were on the left. The bed was on the left. In the far corner was a desk and a little girl. She hummed softly and bounced in her seat. Her hands moved in circles across the paper in front of her. Her black hair was pulled up in two pigtails on top of her head.

(Y/N) smiled brightly at her little sister. Continuing to be quiet, she walked towards the girl. Then, she hugged her from behind and nuzzled into her neck, making the younger one giggle. "Oneechan!" Ichika greeted.

"How's my favorite sister doing?"

"I'm your only sister!" Then, Ichika gasped and covered the paper in front of her.

"Hmm? What's that?" (Y/N) said, feigning innocence.

"It's for you, but it was supposed to be a surprise."

"How about I close my eyes, and then, you show me."

"Okay!" The older one shut her eyes, still hugging her sister. Ichika moved around a bit underneath her arms. "Open!" (Y/N)'s eyes opened to the sight of a flower drawn on the paper in crayon. The flower was blue and purple with swirls in the petals. In the bottom right, it said, "To: Oneechan From: Ichika."

"I love it, 'chika! What did I do to deserve such a cute little sister like you?" Ichika kept giggling and smiling from ear to ear. She pushed the piece of paper in (Y/N)'s hands. "Thank you. I love you so much, 'chika."

"I love you, too, Oneechan."

(Y/N) let go of the girl and placed a kiss on her forehead. "I have to go work, now, but I promise I will play with you a lot this weekend."

Ichika's eye lit up like diamonds. "Can we go to get ice cream from the place Otousan would take us? Matcha Lane?"

"Of course. Just the two of us."

"Yay!" (Y/N) grinned as she left the room. A couple steps down the hall, and she was at her room. Like Ichika's, it was small and organized. She placed her bag next to her desk and sat. In a side pocket was a note that she found in locker at school.

_"I wonder what you did to get Coach Takenaka to treat you so carefully. Perhaps, it hurt to run because of what he did to you? Never thought you were such a whore, but now, I want to know what other dirty things you've done to get your way."_

_-Your "admirer"_

(Y/N) frowned. Of course, she knew none of it was true, but was that what everyone in class thought after she sat down? No, whoever wrote it was jealous. Yeah, that had to be the case. People would actually knew her like Himura or cared to get to know her like Tsukishima and Yamaguchi wouldn't think like that. They would be concerned if she was sick or hurt (with a snide comment from Tsukishima).

She wasn't a whore, and she wasn't going to let them get her down. She already had too much on her plate for that.


	3. Ice Cream

A couple days past, and soon, it was the weekend. There was another note in her locker on Friday. Same tone and hatred. This time, it was about how they didn't understand how she could be laid with her looks. (Y/N) ripped it up and trashed it with the other one. 

To say it didn't bother her would be a lie. After all, who wouldn't be concerned when someone is making false accusations about them? She really did want to block it out. For the most part, she did. But, one little thing would lead to another, and the residue left behind slowly would build up. Like in her time in grade school, a small hill could become a mountain.

To make matters worse, (Y/N) didn't tell anyone about it. She didn't want to worry anyone. More so, she didn't want the notes to make someone like Himura realize all her faults and leave her.

(Y/N) put on a smile and walked with her sister in the mid-afternoon sun. Ichika skipped next to her and swung their hands back and forth. Due to the difference in age, (Y/N)'s hand dwarfed the five year old's. Her hand was warm and delicate, and (Y/N) would gladly hold for as long as she could.

A couple minutes later, the two arrived at the ice cream shop. It was a quaint corner building with red and light blue awnings. Inside were booths, tables, and a bar-like area where the workers poured out ice cream like beer on tap. 

The building used to be an old diner back when (Y/N)'s parents were in high school. In fact, the diner was the place of their first date. Her father was so sad when the couple that owned it went bankrupt. When the ice cream shop, Matcha Lane, opened up, he would take (Y/N) and later Ichika and tell them stories of all the dates and memories they had in the old building. It became a tradition that when he visited home from the US, he would take them. 

On the sunny Saturday, the shop was bustling with customers. Nearly every table was full. If they had to, the sisters would eat outside. A handful of people stood in front of them in line. After a couple of minutes, the two were at the front of the line. The female worker took their order, and someone behind her filled it. (Y/N) payed and was handed two strawberry ice creams, one which she handed to her sister.

(Y/N) scanned the place for a seat when she saw a familiar face. With her free hand, she grabbed Ichika's hand and led her on. "Tsukishima-kun!" she yelled. The blond glanced over. His headphones were on, and in his hand was an ice cream cone. The sisters approached his booth and saw that he was alone. Ichika hid behind (Y/N)'s legs as he put his headphones around his neck.

"(L/N), what do you need?" he asked, flatly. His eyes flicked to Ichika and looked questionably at the two of them. "Who's she?"

"Wow, straight to the point." She rolled her eyes and uncover Ichika. "This is my sister, Ichika, and as you can see, this place is packed. So, do you mind if we invade your table?"

"Whatever. At least, you have a good reason for it."

"Thank you!" She bowed her head and let Ichika into the booth first. The little girl stared warily at Tsukishima until she saw what flavor ice cream he had.

"You like strawberry, too!" her sister exclaimed. He seemed taken back by her reaction and didn't really know how to react. He looked away for a quick second and turned back to see Ichika beaming with her mouth open. 

(Y/N) snickered at her sister who had a new fascination with the boy.

"Yeah... It's not that bad..." he said hesitantly. 

"Not that bad? It's the best thing on the planet! Otousan said he tried every flavor in the world, and nothing was better than strawberry ice cream."

"'chika, you can't just yell at him," (Y/N) reprimanded. "You didn't introduce yourself properly."

"Oh! I'm (L/N) Ichika! I'm sorry for yelling at you." Her head fell with the last sentence, and her lip quivered.

Tsukishima's golden eyes widened, and he shook his head. "It's fine. Don't worry, Ichika..." (Y/N) laughed at his attempt to cheer Ichika up, causing him to blush slightly. The little redness didn't go unnoticed by her and was cataloged for later use. "Really, it's fine... I'm Tsukishima Kei. Nice to meet you. And, strawberry is my favorite flavor, too."

That lit the five year old up. "I knew you loved it, Kei-niichan!"

Both of the first-years went red by her nickname. The fact that she warmed up so quickly to Tsukishima was adorable, but the outburst made it seem like the two of them were dating or something. The only person that wasn't family that Ichika called with that familiarity was Himura, but that was only after Himura doted on her a lot. Tsukishima barely did anything, and she already called niichan.

(Y/N) was going to say something to her, but she was already chowing down on her ice cream. So, instead, she turned to Tsukishima. He was trying to cover his blush with his hand and was mumbling something under his breath that (Y/N) couldn't make out. 

"So... Tsukishima-kun," (Y/N) said in an attempt to start a normal conversation and help both their blushes die down, "what brings you here?"

He cleared his throat. "I was going to meet Yamaguchi here, but his mom needed help with an errand. I was already here when he told me, so I went ahead bought ice cream. He said he'll rush here as soon as gets done."

"Ah, so you didn't just come here to eat ice cream, looking like a loner."

"At least, I didn't yell a name so that the whole shop could hear and make a fool of myself in front of a bunch of strangers."

"So, you admit you looked like a loner."

"I might have looked like a loner, but that changed the moment you came up. Therefore, it looked like I was waiting you and not like I wanted to eat ice cream by myself."

"You don't have to be smart about it..." (Y/N) pouted and glared at Tsukishima. His lips curved into his classic smirk. His chip slightly tilted up. 

"You admit that I'm right."

"Shut up, Saltyshima."

"Looks like I win."

"This time."

"Oneechan..." Ichika whined. (Y/N) looked at her younger sister. Ichika, somehow, had gotten melted ice cream at the tips of her hair. "It's sticky."

"Aw, it's okay, 'chika. Let's go clean you up." The girl looked at the ice cream cones in both of their hands. "Umm..."

"I'll hold them for you," Tsukishima offered. "There's nothing left in my cone, so I can put it down on a napkin. Go clean Ichika up, (L/N)."

"Oh my gosh, thank you." (Y/N) grabbed Ichika's cone and waited until he put his down to hand the two cones to him. He watched as the two ran off to the girl's bathroom. 

The way (Y/N) doted on the five year old was the main thing on Tsukishima's mind. It wasn't that different from the way she acted around Himura or even himself. But, the way her eyes softened as if her walls were breaking down was definitely not the same. Ichika had control over (Y/N)'s heart as if Ichika was the only one who could see (Y/N)'s true self. It was cute.

Cute? He shook his head slightly and turned to look out the window. _'Why would I think of them as cute? I mean, sure, Ichika is a little ball of energy and could probably cure cancer. But, (Y/N) is just someone to tease and a bit of a loudass. Why would she ever be cute?'_

Tsukishima wasn't exactly sure what to do about his feelings. Like a war inside himself, the two conflicting sides bashed against each other. His rational side was winning, but his unexplainable heart was like an underdog fighting in a revolution. A light blush formed on his cheek due to the confusion. A bit of Ichika's ice cream melted onto his hand, but his brain was too focused on the war to notice. 

"Tsukki?" Tsukishima jumped and met the eyes of his green-haired friend. He stood next to the table in a causal hoodie and jeans. Yamaguchi tilted his head. "Why do you have three cones?"

"That's..."

"Thank you, Kei-niichan!" Ichika bounded across the tiled floor to grab her slightly melted ice cream and continued to eat it. The black-haired girl happily plopped down next Tsukishima, who used his now free hand to cover his blush.

"Eh?!" Yamaguchi said in response to Ichika and stared between the two of them. Oblivious to it all, Ichika kept on licking her strawberry ice cream. "Tsukki, what..."

"I swear, Yamaguchi, it's not..." Tsukishima tried to explain before he was interrupted again. 

"Ichika, you can't just run away from me," (Y/N) scolded her sister. She sighed when Ichika showed no signs of caring. Obviously, the ice cream was more important. Then, (Y/N) noticed the extremely confused boy. "Oh, hi, Yamaguchi-kun! I guessing that you're done with your errands." She took her seat across from Tsukishima and took back her ice cream. "Have you gotten any ice cream yet?"

"Wait a minute!" Yamaguchi yelled. He blushed from the outburst and waved his hands in embarrassment. "(L/N)... what are you doing here?"

"Oh, my sister wanted ice cream the other day, so I promised to take her. We couldn't find a seat, so we invaded Tsukishima's booth. Sorry for encroaching on your hangout time."

"It's fine... I was just surprised. I guess I'll go get some ice cream then." Yamaguchi walked off, obviously still confused by the whole thing. 

(Y/N) sighed as she looked back at Tsukishima. He stared at her, lost in thought. "Tsukishima-kun..." He snapped out of his trance. "Thank you, again. You know I'm not used to you being this nice."

"Why? Do you want me to be a dick to you every little second?" he asked, bluntly, which got a "Wtf?" face from (Y/N) as her sister was sitting right next to him. Ichika seemed like she was in her own little world, but there was never such a thing as too cautious.

"Seriously, Tsukishima? Cussing in front of my sister? I swear I just don't know what to do with you. Just so you know, I like the nice Tsukishima way more than the jerk one. It's a surprise that you're being so nice."

"Am I an entity of apathy and incapable of doing anything good in your mind? I'm not some monster. I know I'm an asshole, but that doesn't mean I can't help someone."

"Again, language."

"Shut up."

"I don't care if my sister likes you. I won't let you be a bad influence."

"What? Are you her mom?"

"She already has one of those. I'm just the adoring and doting older sister."

"Who acts like her mom."

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"Neechan! Kei-niichan! Don't fight!" Ichika yelled. She crossed her arms and put on her angriest face (which really wasn't that angry. It was more adorable than anything, but the two older ones would never let her know that.)

The two looked at each other, defeated. "I'm sorry, Tsukishima," (Y/N) apologized reluctantly.

"Same..." he said back. Of course, the response got an eye roll, but she wasn't going to push it and upset Ichika. 

"I'm back," Yamaguchi announced as he approached the table. The only open seat was next to (Y/N).

"Ichika, come sit next to me, so Yamaguchi-kun can sit next to Tsukishima," (Y/N) said.

"But, Neechan, I want to sit next to Kei-niichan!" Ichika protested. 

"But..." The older sister looked to Yamaguchi. 

He smiled and shook his head. "She can sit there, (L/N). I don't mind."

"You are an angel, Yamaguchi-kun."

"Huh?" He blushed furiously, covering his burning face with his face.

"Wow, Yamaguchi, that's a great cosplay of a tomato," Tsukishima teased. 

"Tsukki... why must you do this?"

"Tsukishima, don't tease Yamaguchi-kun," (Y/N) said. "I'm the one who called him an angel."

"He's the one that likes when you compliment him," Tsukishima fired back. He leaned forward and propped his head on his hands. A smirk creeped onto his mouth.

"Do you not like it when I compliment you? I could see how you like it."

"Right back at you."

"Really? Well, you bitch, your smirk is gorgeous."

"Language, but the way you tease me right back is hot. I can't get enough of it, Ichigo."

"Ichigo?" (Y/N) blushed red at the nickname. "But, why?"

"Just look at your face. You seem to like all my remarks.

"Guys..." Yamaguchi whispered. The two looked at him. They didn't even realize how close they leaned into each other during the whole exchange. The green-haired had his hands over the annoyed five year old's ears. She tried to remove his hands so she could hear, but it was to no avail.

The two arguing turned to look at each other. Their eyes caught contact and held it. Tsukishima's eyes were like chocolate, the kind melted to be drizzled over a dessert. The light caught them every which way. They sparkled. His lashes were short, and his eyes were free from bags due to lack of sleep.

They didn't even think about moving until (Y/N) got a text from her mom. It was nearly 4:30 pm.

_From: Okaasan <3 To: (Y/N)_

_Mrs. Mikasa invited me over for dinner, so I need you two to be back before I leave. Since I know you were craving it the other day, I ordered a pizza for the two of you. Make sure to stay safe._

_From: (Y/N) To: Okaasan <3_

_Ok. I'll take off with Ichika soon._

(Y/N) turned off the screen of her phone and placed it down on the table.

"Who was that?" Tsukishima asked. 

"My mom. Ichika and I have to be heading off," (Y/N) responded. "She has a dinner to go to, which really means wine and gossip."

Tsukishima laughed a bit, a genuine laugh. "Isn't that the truth?"

"I'm about done with my ice cream, so we can head out when you two do," Yamaguchi offered.

"Alright, sounds like a plan," (Y/N) said.


	4. Chit-Chat

"Tsukki?"

"What is it, Yamaguchi?" Tsukishima put down his controller. It was one am, and the two were playing Super Smash Bros. Ultimate in the blond's room. Yamaguchi's Yoshi got meteored by Tsukishima's Ganondorf, ending one of their numerous games that had been played that night.

"It's been bugging me... Why was (L/N)'s little sister calling you 'niichan'?"

"How am I supposed to know? The girl just started to. I didn't exactly have a choice. Why does it matter?"

"You smiled."

"Huh?" Tsukishima met the eyes of his childhood friend. Normally, he would have made a joke about Yamaguchi being delusional, but his eyes were unwavering. He was dead serious on the matter. He was convinced he saw Tsukishima smile.

But, Tsukishima couldn't think of when he smiled. Smiling was such a rare occurrence after all.

"You smiled at the ice cream shop," Yamaguchi said again with a bit more information. "I didn't mention it before because I know that one subject usually comes up with it. But, when I walked up to the booth, you were smiling out the window. You still had both of their ice creams which was a good coverup for my confusion because I knew you would know something would be up if I didn't mention it. Then, again, as they left, when we were walking home together, you smiled as we watched them go."

"You..."

"You might have been doing it subconsciously, so you probably don't even remember. But, I know what I saw, Tsukki."

"You're crazy, Yamaguchi."

"I said I know what I saw." 

"Why would I smile because of her? Hell, why would I smile because of something stupid like that?"

"Tsukki, just listen to me!" Yamaguchi looked so distraught to Tsukishima. The blond felt just as distraught, though. "Are you okay? Is this about her?"

"No! This is not fucking about her!" Yamaguchi seemed taken aback by Tsukishima's sudden cuss and outburst.

"Tsukki, I'm just worried. Calm down." Yamaguchi grazed his fingers against his best friend's leg in hopes that the minimal touch would ground him.

The blond sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He grabbed the back of his scalp in frustration. His eyes sent a quick glance over to the desk drawer. "I'm... I'm sorry, Yamaguchi. I'm just conflicted with how to feel."

Yamaguchi hesitantly laughed. "Now, I know you're not okay. You never apologize."

"Shut up."

"I'm sorry, Tsukki."

"Seriously, I'm fine."

"Do you want to talk about it? I know we usually avoid it, but it's been two and a half years."

"Yeah, two and a half years that she could still be here, living in Miyagi. God, I never felt that stupid in my life. Even the simpleton duo couldn't achieve that level." He dug his fingernails into his skin. The indentions stayed as his fingers moved to press in new ones. Yamaguchi flinched and moved slightly to stop him but forced himself back.

"It wasn't your fault, Tsukki. I know..."

He slammed his hands down on the floor, not caring that the sound echoed through the whole house. There was no one else there after all. "That she wouldn't blame me? You're only the millionth person to say that. Plus, I know that she didn't blame me because she blamed herself, Yamaguchi."

The green-haired boy reached out to rub his friend's back. His small hands moved in circles up and down his back. "Hey, let's stop talking about her. It will only upset you. Let's bring it back to (L/N). Do you like her?"

Subconsciously, Tsukishima leaned in a bit to the younger boy. "I don't know. It's not like love at first sight actually exists. That sort of thing only happens on TV and in manga. And honestly, anyone who falls in love within the first meeting is crazy. It's just hormones and the human primal nature. Yamaguchi, it's only been one and a half weeks since I've met her. Sure, we basically have spent almost every day of that time together because of school, but I don't think I could like someone that fast."

"You say that now, but I can see that she makes you genuinely happy." And, he added on with a whisper. "That exchange that I stopped is not a normal thing between friends that just met."

"What was that?"

"Nothing! Sorry, Tsukki. Anyway, I think it's okay if you like her. Worst case scenario, she doesn't return your feelings."

"That doesn't make me feel any better."

Laughing softly, he rubbed one of Tsukishima's knuckles. "I guess you're right."

"Of course, I'm right." He hummed softly, and his fingers started playing with Yamaguchi's. "Enough about my love life. Got anyone, Yamaguchi?"

"Huh?!"

"Perhaps Himura? Oh, that girl from class 1-5 that you ran into on that errand seemed your type. So, who's the lady?"

Yamaguchi flushed red and froze up. Tsukishima hit his fingers, despite his lack of reaction. "No one!"

"Your face says otherwise. Come on, Yams, you don't have to hide anything. I'll find out who it is sooner or later." He smirked.

God, did Yamaguchi know how to break Tsukishima and rebuild him up again. They had known each other so long that they literally could not remember life without the other. Even if Yamaguchi had put the other in a bad mood earlier, he just made Tsukishima forget his troubles. After all, the green-haired boy was just too easy to tease. His flustered face just pleased the blond's slightly sadistic side.

It was like a pill. It becomes a normal routine. Relieving the pain and taking his mind off the bad, it becomes an addiction. He couldn't just easily stop. Every single little tease distracted him. Without it, thoughts could kill.

"I really don't know if I like anyone," Yamaguchi said while averting his eyes. "Oh yeah, speaking of Himura, did she seem off to you? I've seen her scowling a couple of times when I think she thought no one was watching. Maybe, (L/N) knows."

"Really? Bringing this back to (L/N)?" Tsukishima sighed. "Himura seemed fine. It's perfectly normal to scowl."

"Normal for you."

"Oi, this isn't about me. Maybe she was scowling because of the ungodly amount of homework we got in English."

"Maybe, but I'm worried."

"You're always worried."

"No, I'm not..."

"You are, too, and your worried ass better be ready for another defeat from me in Ultimate."

"You're on, Tsukki."

~*~*~*~

A month passed from that day. Tsukishima still didn't know what to do with his feelings. Like Yamaguchi said, it was okay to like her. But, every time he thought that it took him back to the end of the first year of middle school and the beginning of the second, back to her and to his parents' failed marriage. Guilt would wash over him, filling him with shivers. He wouldn't be able to focus and really feel into anything. His heart felt like it was just dangling in his chest and not really beating.

He wasn't depressed like he was back then. He wasn't broken. But, the trauma lingered. It was his parasite, his fatal flaw. Really, only Yamaguchi knew about his walls. His mom knew to an extent, but she had to work hard to earn enough for them. Her job as a flight attendant didn't exactly keep her grounded at home and taking extra flights only meant less time. His brother was only thirty minutes away, but with everything that happened, they weren't exactly on good terms.

Unlike the simpleton duo, volleyball wasn't enough to make him happy. His mind wasn't that one track minded. All it did was numb the pain.

Wasn't that all he did at this point?"

"Pay attention, Tsukishima!" Daichi yelled at the boy that was supposed to be working on blocking the spikes made by the other players. Nishinoya was prepped and ready to receive if any made it past Tsukishima. The blond had spaced out. It wasn't an unusual thing to happen in the middle of practice, but he could tell that the captain really wasn't having today. 

He straightened his glasses and focused. The first and second years were practicing their spikes with Kageyama as their setter. Daichi was watching and giving corrections. Sugawara and Asahi were practicing and doing drills in the back to get Asahi back into shape. 

Next up was Tanaka. Tsukishima really didn't like him that much. Like Hinata, he was loud and always going off about Kiyoko or how he was an "amazing" senpai. Just pissed Tsukishima off. But, there was nothing he could do about it, so he left it be. 

The manager tossed it high to Kageyama who set it harder than he should have. Still, Tanaka was able to spike a cross shot as Tsukishima jumped a fraction of a second too late to stop him. Nishinoya narrowly missed it, and the ball bounced off the court.

"Woohoo!" Tanaka yelled. He punched his fist into the air. "Take that, Tsukishima! Your senpai is still better and stronger than you."

Tsukishima clicked his tongue. "You really think II think of you as a senpai? Try acting like it."

"Why you... You ungrateful kouhai!" Tanaka was ready to throw himself at the smirking blond, but someone grabbed the back of his shirt. A dark aura surrounded Daichi as he glared at the one in his hand and the one who started it.

"Stop it, you two," Daichi yelled. "Tanaka, you aren't allowed to fight Tsukishima. Tsukishima, don't provoke him."

"Whatever," Tsukishima said, with the roll of her eyes.

"Tsukishima, two girls are here for you!" Suga called out with a light laugh as he led (Y/N) and Himura in.

Himura waved a paper above her head as she bounded up. (Y/N) snickered and followed close behind. "What do the two of you need?" He looked as if all the energy had drained from him.

"Cold as ever I see, even when you're sweating buckets," (Y/N) quipped.

"Don't you have something better to do than waste my time, Ichigo?"

"Come on, Tsukishima," Nishinoya said, linking arms with (Y/N). "Not one, but two pretty girls come to see you, and you're just being rude."

"Pretty?" (Y/N) said, taken aback by the statement and the feeling of the short players arm against hers.

"Of course! You're cute and pretty, though Kiyoko still is number one. What's your name?"

Her cheeks and ears turned pink. "(L/N) (Y/N), class 1-4."

"Oh, so you're in the same class as Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, (Y/N)-chan." She nodded. "I'm Nishinoya Yuu, second year, so I'm your senpai."

Tsukishima looked annoyed. His brain said it was because he didn't like Nishinoya getting more people to call him senpai and that he didn't like that they were wasting time, but a small part of him said it was something else. It said that he didn't like Nishinoya being so close to her. But, she wasn't his. He couldn't touch her.

Luckily, Himura came to his rescue. She linked her arm with (Y/N)'s free one, making it seem way less intimate. "Tsukishima-kun, you left your math work in your desk," Himura smiled as she handed him the paper in her hand.

"You owe me now, Tsukishima," (Y/N) joked. "If I hadn't been on duty today, you wouldn't have gotten your work done. Be grateful we saved your ass."

"If you're the one that found it, why aren't you giving it to me?" he asked with a smirk. "Scared I would tease you about it?"

"No, I was just going to leave it and let you deal with the consequences, but Himura convinced me otherwise."

"So, you did nothing?"

"I found it. Yuro-chan wouldn't have known if it was not for me."

"It's true, Tsukishima-kun!" Himura agreed. "If (Y/N)-chan wasn't there, who knows what would have happened."

"See? I'm not lying, so you owe me, Saltyshima."

"Whatever, Ichigo. You're wasting everyone's time here."

"Sorry, but he's actually right," Sugawara apologized. "We do have to return to practice. You're welcome to stay and watch, though."

(Y/N) shook her head. "My mom's waiting on me, so I should get going. Yoru-chan, are you staying or coming with?"

"I'll stay," she said with a smile. "It will be fun. Maybe next time you can stay with me."

"Maybe. Anyway, it was nice meeting all of you." That comment earned some smiles and shouts of praise from Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Hinata. "Bye, Yuro-chan, Yamaguchi-kun, and Tsukishima! See you in class tomorrow!" (Y/N) jogged with a slight limp that went unnoticed out the door.

The two girl-crazy second years were guiding Himura over to Kiyoko, who was in a chair on the side going through notes. Kiyoko quickly introduced herself, scolded the two guys, and went back to her work, which made the two happy to the dismay of the black-haired first year.

Tsukishima's eyes lingered on the door for a bit as he was lost in thoughts. The feeling of her presence slowly fading. He hated it. He hated that he couldn't do anything about it. The gym felt almost suffocating without it. He knew the two second years would pound him with questions later about it all and even more so if she stayed like Himura. Everything was felt fine before she showed up, but now, he just wanted to go home and sulk in his room.

Tsukishima didn't think he could ever feel that way again. But, (Y/N) brought back the good and the bad memories. She could make or break him in a second, and he hated it. Yamaguchi was right when he said the blond was falling for her.

Perhaps, this would be his second chance.


	5. Project

"Okay, class, now that we have read through the classic play, Romeo and Juliet, split into groups of four," Mikaya-Sensei announced as the class shuffled around. "The four of you will be presenting a poster board, depicting your thoughts on the story and moral. Think critically. There are almost no guidelines on this, so your presentations must be of high quality. Be creative with the board as it is half your grade. We will be presenting these on Monday of next week so that gives your group the next two days and the weekend to work on it." Just as she finished giving instructions the bell rang, ending the school day. Mikaya-sensei gathered her things and left the classroom promptly.

"Tsukishima-kun! Yamaguchi-kun!" Himura called. "Do you two want to be in a group with (Y/N) and me?"

Yamaguchi looked over to Tsukishima who just shrugged his shoulders. "Sure, Himura-chan. If you don't have club activities, we could go out, get supplies, and have an early start on it."

"What about Volleyball?"

"Our coach is out sick, so we decided at morning practice to cancel after school stuff."

"Those two idiots are probably begging Daichi for the key," Tsukishima commented. "Honestly, I'm happy we get a break from all the single brain-celled people on the team. God, I swear one day I'm going to murder them."

"If I find them dead in an alley, I will happily point the cops to you," (Y/N) added, laughing.

"You'd give me up that easily? Wow, happy to know I'm appreciated, Ichigo." Tsukishima rolled his eyes. Yamaguchi send a quick glance to see if there was any other emotion, but there was none.

"Of course, I'd give you up easily, Saltyshima. If you just left them in an alley, that's shoddy work. At least, hide their bodies, so you have some time before they figure out they're dead." The three of them looked at (Y/N) like she was insane. "Guys, I swear I'm not homicidal. I just have a lot of free time..."

"To plan out a murder? Remind me not to get on your bad side."

"Oi, I just read a lot of books, and some of those are crime related..." (Y/N) blushed and twirled her hair in embarrassment. The rest of the group laughed, and Himura gave her a side hug.

"Come on, (Y/N)-chan," Himura said. "We're just teasing you."

"I know." (Y/N) shook her off. "Alright, let's go."

The four grabbed their stuff and walked through the hallways side-by-side, Tsukishima and Himura on the outside with the other two in the middle. Tsukishima, at one point, put on his Somy headphones and blocked out their conversation; little did he know that it had to do with him.

"We can use Tsukki's place if we have to," Yamaguchi offered.

(Y/N) cocked an eyebrow at such a forward suggestion when the person wasn't even listening. "I know we can't use my place," the (H/C)-haired girl said. "My mom won't be home until late tonight, and she likes to be there if I have friends over. That reminds me... we have to pick up Ichika and take her with us. Her day care is on the way to the craft store, so it shouldn't be that bad."

"Aww, I can't wait to see Ichika, again!" Himura cried. "It's been too long!"

"You only met her once."

"Still, she's the cutest ball of sunshine. Oh yeah, we can't use my house. My mom would kill me for bringing people on such a short notice."

"Tsukki's, it is," Yamaguchi decided. "His mom should be chill with it. I'll text her as Tsukki's not listening." The green-haired pulled out his phone as the two looked at each other. They both thought the same thing but were too scared to voice it. They wouldn't know what to do if it was true.

When they got to the locker room, they all went to their own lockers and changed their shoes. Himura's was next to (Y/N) and for some reason, it seemed as if she was watching her best friend intently. (Y/N) brushed it off, but then, she saw a new note and knew she was in trouble. No way in Hell was she going to let Himura know. So, she placed the note on the hand closest to Himura and slyly slid the note in her bag. Sighing slightly, she continued to put on her outside shoes and placed her school ones inside.

"Hey, (Y/N)-chan? You okay?" Himura asked. She tilted her head with the question. Her shoes were already changed, and she was ready to go. "You're looking kind of pale."

"Huh? Oh, it's nothing," (Y/N) said. Quickly, she went to find the two boys. Yamaguchi was smiling warmly at the taller boy who just seemed disinterested (though, he had removed his headphones). "We're ready, boys."

"Oh, good timing!" Yamaguchi said. "Tsukki and I just finished. Also, his mom was okay with it."

"Just what did you ask my mom?" Tsukishima asked, still seemly disinterested.

"If we could do the project there. We couldn't do it anywhere else. Sorry, Tsukki."

"Tch."

~*~*~*~

After picking up Ichika, going to the store, they finally arrived at Tsukishima's house. (Y/N) thanked God for his mom because she was an angel. She happily took Ichika to go play in the backyard, so they could do their project in peace. Hell, she was even excited about it. Apparently, she missed having a five year old around her house.

Walking through their house, (Y/N) took note of how there were only four people in the pictures scattered throughout: Tsukishima, his mom, what appeared to be his brother (though he wasn't in many of the newer photos), and Yamaguchi. There was no father figure in sight. (Y/N) noticed when she first came in of how organized and obviously feminine the furniture was, so she wasn't that surprised to find out that his parents were divorced. But, the emptiness, the complete shutout of someone that was once someone loved, it was almost heartbreaking. She had been to other people house's before were the parents were divorced, but there were still signs of the missing parent. Here, there was nothing.

It almost made her pity Tsukishima. How long has he had to live like this? (Y/N) knew how hard it was with only one parent in the house, but her dad was always a phone call away. Her parents never fell away.

Though, the reason he was away was because of her.

As soon as they entered Tsukishima's room, Yamaguchi ran to the bed and flopped down on it. Tsukishima sighed, "Why must you do that every time?"

"Because your bed is way comfier than me," Yamaguchi replied as he closed his eyes.

Again, the two girls shared the same wavelength. One of them had to ask, so Himura took the bullet. "Are you two... you know... dating?" she asked with hands folded behind her back. She couldn't look either of them in the eye.

"Ehh?!" Yamaguchi shot up from Tsukishima's bed. His face turned into a freckled tomato. "No, no, no, no..."

"What makes you think either of us are gay?" Tsukishima asked. He crossed his arms and glared at the two girls.

"Well," Himura started, "you two seem close. Plus, it looked like some of the volleyball guys seemed gay so it didn't seem like that much of a stretch. Yamaguchi basically invited us over here instead of his house. Your mom's contact name was literally 'Mom #2', and Yamaguchi just made himself at home in your bed."

"My bed is his home."

"Tsukki!" Yamaguchi yelled.

"Don't lie to yourself. You know it's true."

"But, you made it sound weird."

"Guys, sorry to break up you lovebirds, but we have a project," (Y/N) said as she sat down on the ground. At this point, she had just accepted this was a thing.

"We aren't dating, (L/N)-chan. He's lying."

"I never said we were dating," Tsukishima said, poking Yamaguchi's cheek.

"But..."

"But, nothing. Neither of us are gay. Unless all the times I saw Yamaguchi looking at a girl were just an act."

"Okay, Okay! Let's just work, so we don't have to worry about this," (Y/N) said. Yamaguchi nodded and grabbed a low table from Tsukishima's closet. Himura grabbed the bought craft supplies, and Tsukishima just sat on the ground next to (Y/N), doing absolutely nothing. She looked at him. "Shouldn't you be helping? You kind of are the host right now, if I'm not mistaken."

"Technically, Yamaguchi invited you over, so he is the host. I am not obliged to do anything."

"Sure, lazy ass. Whatever you have to tell yourself."

Himura plopped down on the other side of Tsukishima and smiled. "Let's get started!" She spread the poster board out. Yamaguchi sat down next to her.

"Well, since we basically have no rules, we have to make the board as aesthetically pleasing as possible. Creativity and neatness are going to be a majority of our points most likely."

"Oh, how about we but a quote in the middle? Maybe one relating to whatever we think the moral is."

"Oh my gosh! That gives me an idea. We do the quote in the middle idea, and around it, we split the board into five parts. One part will be for all the things we collectively agree on. Every other part with be for our own thoughts. After all, there's no way we all think the same thing. It's literature. No one looks at it the same way," (Y/N), then, mumbled to herself, "which is why I hate the class."

"Fine by me," Tsukishima agreed.

"Same here," Yamaguchi said. "What should we start discussing?"

"How about the moral?" (Y/N) offered. "Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy, meaning the moral lies in the consequences."

"Their families were blinded by hate, which led to their deaths. And, the two fell in love and in a final act of love, they died together."

"Exactly, but I feel like Mikaya-sensei wants more."

"The sins of the parents don't pass to the offspring?" Himura said.

"Maybe. Perhaps, it's 'Don't let your emotions dictate your actions'."

Tsukishima sighed. "Personally, I feel like all of this was started because Romeo and Juliet carelessly rushed into love. Sure, the parents hated each other, but that's life. The two star-crossed lovers didn't even know each other a day before they were professing their love. Such idiocy killed them."

"For once, I agree with you, Tsukishima. The parent's hatred did push them over the edge, but if they had just knew the other's plan, they could have lived. They both killed themselves because Romeo thought that Juliet was dead. They hadn't even know each other that long, but they both decided they couldn't live without the other."

(Y/N) could sworn that she saw Tsukishima glance off. She followed his gaze to the desk. He looked so forlorn, but she left it alone.

"I don't think that their love killed them," Himura said. "I mean it was what started it all, but their love brought the two families together. It might have been at first sight, but it was a deep love. After all, love is supposed to inspire others to act kinder."

"I agree with Himura-chan," Yamaguchi nodded. "Though Shakespeare was pretty crazy at times, I don't think he was telling people not to follow their hearts."

"Juliet was a hormonal teenager," (Y/N) deadpanned. "She was freaking thirteen. That was marrying age back then. She probably just didn't want to be married off to someone twice her age for the good of her family. As much as she loved them, I just can't imagine any girl wanting to marry a man that's that much older. So then, she saw Romeo, a twenty year old bachelor that takes interest in her. Of course, she's going to feel attracted to him. Like I said, earlier she let her emotions get the better of her. Romeo was the better choice in her mind." (Y/N) shook her head and sighed. "Maybe we should split the board into three pieces since it seems like we're divided evenly."

"Sounds good to me."

"We'll put "Don't let your emotions get the better of you" as our collective response with the other two as our interpretations of it," Himura said, pulling out a pencil. "How about 'O happy dagger! This is thy sheath; there rust, and let me die' for the quote? Since we have different reasons for why that happened."

"Sounds perfect," (Y/N) said. She cracked her knuckles. "Let's get this shit on the road!"


	6. Girl Talk

"Ah, I'm so happy we got an A on the assignment!"

"Do you expect anything less from me? Come on, Yoru-chan, you've known me since middle school, and you still haven't figured out I don't like anything that's not an A."

"Well, not everyone can just go into a test without studying and ace it," Himura punched (Y/N)'s arm repeatedly, earning a laugh from the (H/C)-haired girl. "Seriously, can you spare me some brain cells?"

"Sure, I'll cut one a portion of my brain out and implant it in your head," (Y/N) joked. "My brain could still function and will grow back."

"You're kidding, right?"

"No, I'm being dead serious." The two stared at each other for a second before bursting out in laughter. They were walking towards (Y/N)'s house as her mom got off early from work, and she needed to pick up some clothes so she could spend the night at Himura's (something (Y/N)'s mom very reluctantly agreed to after a slur of questions).

"Okay, but can we talk about how Mikaya-sensei recorded everyone's presentations and took the whole week before finalizing our grades? Like seriously, that's a lot of work. Glad I don't want to become a teacher."

"Seriously, I could not deal with kids."

"Same. Do you still don't know what you want to be? Two years, we've been friends, and you haven't decided."

(Y/N) looked away. Honestly, the subject of what she wanted to do years in the future always made her uncomfortable. "I... I haven't... I haven't thought about it."

Himura clicked her tongue, almost mirroring Tsukishima. "Dang, girl, and I thought I was indecisive."

"Yeah... I just don't know..." (Y/N) cleared her throat. "So, what's the plan for tonight?"

"I was thinking we could watch Your Name and Weathering with you. After all, it's been forever since I've seen them. Then, just chill and talk?"

"Oh my gosh, I'm so ready to point out all the foreshadowing in Your Name. I mean I watched it again like two weeks ago, but I'm so down to watch it again."

"Gosh, (Y/N)-chan, you're such an otaku. I guess you ranting about Your Name is better than you ranting about all your fujoshi stuff."

"At least, I'm civilized about it."

"Sure, you are, sure."

~*~*~*~

After both movies finished, it was about 1 AM, and Himura looked like she was about to crash. (Y/N) was as hyper as a kid on Christmas. Honestly, anyone that didn't know her would have probably thought she on something and high. Himura watched her best friend dance a bit to the music playing for a speaker. The song playing was Namae No Nai Kaibatsu by EGOIST, and (Y/N) was singing along to the lyrics. 

As for Himura, she drifted in her thoughts. Something was bothering (Y/N); she could sense it. Himura knew what it was, too: the notes ((Y/N) wasn't that sly at hiding it). But, there was something more. Her skin would sometimes turn pale, and she avoided certain conversations. Himura wouldn't press, though. After all, this was supposed to happen. (Y/N) always kept secrets and got hurt because of them. Himura couldn't do anything in the first place.

"Ahhhhh, Kami wa... tsugeru... shin no... sekai... wo..." (Y/N) sang along with the bridge. Himura smirked at the (H/C)-haired girl. She really was a dumbass. After the song, (Y/N) sat down and smiled wearily at Himura. "How was my performance, Yoru-chan?"

"Terrible. My ears are bleeding," Himura laughed. "I don't think I can unsee that."

"Thanks. That's what I was going for." (Y/N) stretched her arms up and above her head. Then, she laid her head down on Himura's lap. "So, what's the real reason for this sleepover? You usually don't like them because you can't stay up without black coffee. What's up?"

Himura sighed. "Remember that thing I said back in middle school?"

"Umm, you have to be more specific than that."

"The one sleepover that we had at your house. It was right after my parent's fight over whether or not they should tell Yui to break up with her boyfriend. I think that was second-year of middle school."

"Wait, are you talking about your forward assumption that you shouldn't fall in love because your parents probably wouldn't like who you fell for?"

"Yeah..."

"Why are you thinking about this, now? Hell, it's been two years since that night. Don't tell me you..."

"Yes, I think I fell in love with someone."

(Y/N) shot up and looked her best friend in the eyes. They were unwavering and almost seemed angry. The green irises seemed like they were burning. 

Himura wasn't lying.

"Oh my gosh... I don't know how to react," (Y/N) said as she cupped Himura's hands with said girl flinching a bit. "Whoever it is, they better not break your heart or I'll snap them in half. Better yet, I take them to a secluded location, torture them, and leave them for the rats."

"Please don't do that," Himura said, flatly. "I don't think my heart could take that."

"Your loss. But, I will do something if they even hurt one hair on your head."

"God, you're so overprotective."

"If I'm not, then, who will be?" (Y/N) mumbled it. Taking a deep breath to shake her thoughts, she continued. "So, who's the lucky guy?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you. But... first, you have to tell me who you like! I couldn't bear it if we liked the same person." 

"Why would I like anyone? I don't like I'm ready for that kind of relationship..."

"Really? Could have fooled me." (Y/N) tilted her head at Himura's snarky remark. She was so used to the happy-go-lucky Himura that she had forgotten the cynical one even existed. After all, she vowed to never become cynical again after the two became friends. She didn't want to be left alone. 

The fact that Himura thought that she wanted a relationship dumbfounded her. Sure, she joked around and pointed out cute guys to Himura, but she was never seriously thinking about dating any of them. Like the old Himura, she was scared. Not because she would be left alone, though. Himura didn't know any of that, so (Y/N) couldn't blame her, if she was being honest.

"Really, Himura, I don't like anyone," (Y/N) reassured her. "I'm just... waiting for the right person."

Himura let a reluctant sigh. "I guess I'll tell you then." Blushing, she covered her face with her hands. "It's Tsukishima-kun."

"That tall French fry? Now, I'm confused. Why? I thought Yamaguchi was more your type."

Himura uncovered her face, and she couldn't bear to look at (Y/N)'s face. "I guess it's cliché, but his tsundere attitude is actually really cute. Imagine him with a blushing face and actually being caring, it's mesmerizing. Like when we picked up Ichika last week, and she was all over him. Even thinking about it just makes me smile. But, he would never like me; hell, he doesn't even look my way. I feel like the only time he even glances my direction is when I'm with you." Himura made sure (Y/N) couldn't hear the last sentence. She didn't want her to find out how much she resented that fact.

"Yoru-chan, you are the sweetest thing on this planet, and Tsukishima would be a fool not to reciprocate your feelings. He may not know it, now, but he will fall madly in love with you. I will make sure it happens. If not, I'm showing his dick how much of a dick he's been to you."

"Oh my gosh, stop."

"Never. He will feel my wrath." Himura looked up to meet (Y/N)'s eyes. The (H/C)-haired smiled (sort of creepily, not surprising Himura). "You're beautiful, Yoru. Don't put yourself down like that. You've certainly got more of a bod than me."

Himura smirked slightly but didn't comment on the last sentence. "So, you're really okay with me going after Tsukishima?"

"Of course."

"Well, good, because I was going to do it whether or not I had your permission."

"Damn, Yoru-chan. When did you become so feisty? If I was lesbian, that might have made me fall in love with you."

Himura blushed. "Stop... Stop saying such embarrassing things. You know I hate it."

"And you know I love you, so I see no problem. Remember: gals before pals, my dear Yoru-chan."

"God, you're such a child."

"Seriously, Yoru, I'm not going to let Tsukishima take you away from me. As your best friend, I have just as much importance as your crush. I wouldn't let such a petty thing separate us."

"Yeah..." Himura let out a yawn. "I think I'm going to go to bed, (Y/N)-chan." She got up and went to her dresser to pull out her sleep shirt and shorts. 

"Okay. I think I'm going to stay up a bit longer. I'll join you once I'm tired enough."

"Okay." Himura continued to get ready as (Y/N) drifted away in her thoughts. Honestly, she was still in shock that her Yoru liked Tsukishima. They were polar opposites. That was just like Himura. She had this whole list of things she wanted to do in High School, and (Y/N) wouldn't be surprised if somewhere along the way "Date an aloof and egotistical guy" got added. Dating the school's untouchable was such a cliché high school romance trope. Though, she thought that Himura would go for more of the really cute and wholesome relationship or maybe even the bad boy. Tsukishima definitely did not fit in either of those groups. 

The lights turned off, distracting (Y/N) for a second. Her main question out of the whole thing was "Why did she still have a crush on him if she thought it would never work?" Sure, people crush on celebrities all the time. But, unrequited love with someone who was with you every day was painful. Hanahaki disease, if it were real, would be a pretty accurate representation of the sorrow of unrequited love. 

It could bring you into a high. Just thinking of the person could make you giddy with joy. But, when you realize you don't have a chance, you're drowning. The light fades; the oxygen leaves your system. The water is trying to get past your walls, and there's nothing you can do as your body freaks out. It yearns for air. It pleads for its lifeform, and all you can do is watch. But, what most people don't know is that it's the beginning part where you're still fighting that's painful. As the water fills your lungs, all you want to do is sleep. Your survival instincts shut off, and you're at peace. 

With unrequited love, it hurts at first, but then, it becomes natural. The fact is accepted, and you live it. You become numb.

(Y/N) prayed that Tsukishima really wouldn't be an asshole and reject her. She didn't want Himura to know the pain of drowning in love. 

She didn't want that to be the last thing she saw of Himura. She didn't want Himura to be broken by her own heart.


	7. Nurse

"Oi, Saltyshima, give Yoru-chan part of your lunch."

"Why would I do that?"

(Y/N) pointed to the empty desk in front of Himura. "She forgot her lunch at home and has no money on her to go get something from the vending machine."

"Why not you?" Tsukishima countered. "You're her best friend. You really shouldn't be leaving her out to dry like this."

"I know for a fact that Yoru-chan hates tuna, and she could eat my rice. But, she can't just have rice; after all, 'One does not live on rice alone.'"

"That's not even the correct saying, dumbass."

"How am I supposed to know? That's how I remember it."

"Your memory obviously needs to be checked out."

"Oh, haha, you're so funny. Now, can you please give her some of your meat?" (Y/N) gave Tsukishima the largest fake puppy eyes to which the blond turned away with the click of his tongue.

"You're so annoying. I don't even know how I've put up with it this long."

"This long?! It's only been like a month since school started. We haven't even had summer break yet!"

Yamaguchi couldn't control himself any longer and started to laugh uncontrollably. "Sorry, Tsukki, but the two of you bicker like a married couple."

"Huh?!" the two arguing both said at the same time. "No, we don't! Stop it!" The synchronic way of speaking definitely did not help their case. The two glared at each other with a slight blush gracing their cheeks. 

"I swear, Ichigo, I'm going to kick your ass if this keeps up," Tsukishima said.

(Y/N) scoffed, "So, you like beating up girls? You sadist."

"You brought this upon yourself, so it must mean you enjoy the pain. You're the sick one."

Himura abruptly stood up. (Y/N), realizing what she had done, begged with her eyes for forgiveness. Her best friend couldn't even look at her face. "I'm... I'm going to the restroom." Himura rushed out the room. (Y/N) wanted to grab her hand as she left, but everything happened too fast. 

The (E/C)-eyed girl didn't want to imagine Himura crying. Her voice when she said that one sentence was breaking, though. She was on the verge of it. 

(Y/N) looked back at the two boys who seemed a little shocked, but they had just gone back to eating without a care in the world. God, they were clueless. (Y/N) guessed she would have been, as well, if she hadn't been told about Himura's crush, last weekend. "I'm going to check on her," she said, as she prepared to stand.

"Eh? Why? She just need to use the restroom," Tsukishima asked. 

She shook her head. "She seemed upset. The restroom was most likely just an excuse." (Y/N) stood up, and a wave of nausea came over her. Her hand hit the desk hard, and she stumbled to find her footing. The boys, panicking slightly, came over to her.

"Oh my gosh, (L/N)-chan, are you okay?" Yamaguchi asked. He hesitantly held his hand up just in case she needed help.

"I'm... I'm fine." A bead of sweat rolled down from her forehead. 'I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine,' she repeated in her head. 'It's just a little nausea. You're fine.' She took a step away from the desk. A shock of pain shot through her left leg. That with the nausea caused her to collapse on the ground. 

The whole class turned their heads to the thud. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi looked terrified. The class rep, Naoe Seiji, ran over and knelt next to (Y/N). Said girl groaned in pain. Her body ached and felt like it was on fire. 

"(L/N), we're going to take you to the nurse," Naoe said. His voice was soothing and like a lullaby. The longish, almost feminine red hair fell and rested in front of his eyes. (Y/N) tried to focus on them to distract her from the pain. His green orbs, though, were of no comfort. She winced again in pain as she felt someone wrapped their arms underneath her.

"I'll take her, Naoe." (Y/N) recognized the voice as Tsukishima. For some reason, that put her a bit more at ease. She closed her eyes and tried her best to not be of too much trouble to carry. 

"Okay, Tsukishima. Since math is starting soon, I'll make sure sensei knows where you two are, so you have an excused absence."

Tsukishima nodded and began to walk out the door. (Y/N), refusing to open her eyes, heard all the shuffling feet of the other first years. A whisper here and there mingled among the sounds. She could have heard both of their names.

"Oi, Tsukishima, what's wrong with (L/N)?" She didn't recognize the voice, but she assumed it was one of the volleyball boys.

"She collapsed, so maybe you can be of some help, King, and get out of my way."

"Damn you. Don't call me that." The owner of the voice, "King", must have moved because Tsukishima kept going. 

After five minutes or so, they must have gotten to the nurse. Tsukishima had stopped and seemingly struggled to knock on the door. So, he lightly tapped the door with his foot. 

The door opened. "Yes? What is wro... Oh my gosh, please come in!" the nurse, Ito Emica, cried out. Though she couldn't see her, (Y/N) could imagine her blue eyes widening in fright. She hated that Ito-san had to see her like this. After all, she was like an aunt to her and best friends with the elder (L/N) woman.

(Y/N) felt the cot underneath her. It was soft but still not as comfortable as a normal bed. Sadly, it was a familiar feeling. 

She opened her eyes to the silver-haired nurse as worried as her imagination's doppelgänger. "(Y/N)-chan, what hurts? What's wrong?" Ito asked.

(Y/N) sent a quick glance to Tsukishima. He tried to look aloof but was failing. Himura wasn't lying when she said it was adorable. 

Ito nodded, understanding what the younger girl was trying to get across. "I feel nauseous, and chills keep running down my body. I'm aching which caused my leg to hurt." Ito took note of this and stood up to grab a thermometer. She put a new plastic covering on it and put it in (Y/N)'s right ear. It beeped, and she changed ears. Again, it beeped again, and Ito sighed.

"You have a 39.1 degree fever," she explained. "It's amazing that you made it this far into the day. Most people would have noticed by now."

"...yeah."

"Anyway, I'm going to have to call your mom and have her take you home. Here." She pulled a mask out of one her pockets. "Put this on. If it's something like the flu, we don't want it spreading." (Y/N) nodded and complied. Ito turned towards Tsukishima. "As for you, you were in close contact with her, so it might be best if you stay here for the next period and disinfect. That okay with you?"

"Of course. That makes sense," Tsukishima replied.

"Oh my, what a gentleman."

(Y/N) laughed dryly. "Don't fall for it. He's only that way when speaking to adults. He's a jerk to everyone else."

"Well, at least that means he's nice to me. I have to make the call to your mom and fill out some paperwork, so don't get into too much trouble, okay?" The two of them nodded. "Oh yeah, I have some medication that your mom gave me if you want to take it."

"One pill should be enough." Ito went to the back of the nurse's office and returned with a pill and water. (Y/N) took a swig of water and, then, placed the pill in her mouth. After swallowing it with ease, she returned the cup to Ito. 

Ito left, and Tsukishima moved closer to the masked girl's cot. "What was the medication?" he asked, as blunt as ever.

"Just a general pain killer that they gave me when I started having migraines," (Y/N) said without pause.

"And the nurse just causally has that? Plus, the nurse sounded like she knew you."

"She's a nurse. Of course, she has that. The school wouldn't just let me carry that around. As for the second statement, she's a family friend. My mom trusts her a lot, so Ito-san takes care of me if I'm having difficulties with my migraines or I'm just sick." Tsukishima cocked an eyebrow. (Y/N) knew he was reading too much into the situation, but any comment about it would only make him more curious. She had to leave it be. "So, Tsukishima, you're acting awfully caring. Worried about little ol' me?"

"Of course, I was. Healthy people don't just collapse like that." (Y/N) was dumbfounded. She was just joking, but he was serious about it. He had to be. Could it be... No, now, she was the one reading too much into the situation. Himura liked him, and therefore, she was going to do everything in her power to get them together.

Oh God, Himura. (Y/N) never went to check on her. How could she been so stupid? Her best friend probably thought she didn't care that she was about to cry. Himura was probably broken down in the restroom with no one to comfort her. 

The thought of that alone sent a wave of guilt throughout her body. Tsukishima noticed the change in her behavior and sat down on the empty space on the cot. "Hey, what's up? Your whole mood changed."

"It's... Yoru. I was going to check on her, but I didn't. Hell, she was probably expecting me to come. She probably thinks I abandoned her. I'm such a terrible friend. The moment she needs me, I collapse. I'm the reason she was upset. I'm such a screw up." The cot, suddenly, seemed more interesting than looking at his face. She didn't want to look at his pity.

"Stop it." She continued to face down. "Look up." She was frozen. "Look up, damn it!" Hesitantly, she met Tsukishima's eyes. "There you go. Now, what makes you think you can talk about yourself that way? None of this was your fault. She's your friend. She'll understand why you couldn't go check on her. Just because you couldn't go doesn't make you a bad friend. The fact that you're fretting about this shows that you care. Don't degrade yourself. You'll only hurt others and yourself that way."

(Y/N) searched Tsukishima's face for an explanation for his behavior. There was only one thing: hurt. He was pained because of her actions. But, why? He cared; that much was obvious. But, still something was off. 

Something warm touched her hand, and her heartbeat quickened. If it weren't for the mask, he probably would have seen how much of a blushing mess she was. Perhaps, she read correctly into the situation. Was there a possibility that Tsukishima liked her? Impossible. He, of all people, could not like her. It had to be a joke. 

After all, who could love her?

"(L/N), I..." he started before pausing and taking a breath.

'Oh no, here it comes,' she thought.

"I..."

"(Y/N)-chan, your mom is on the way," Ito said, walking back towards them. Tsukishima quickly removed his hand from (Y/N)'s. "She said she had to finish some things at work, first."

"Okay, Ito-san," the girl responded. She tried to make sure she didn't stutter or anything that could give away the situation. Ito-san smiled and went back to her desk in the back. 

(Y/N) looked back at Tsukishima who just looked frozen with embarrassment. A light pink dusted his cheek, and he held his hands in his lap like a school girl. Honestly, it made (Y/N) want to laugh. This was a completely different side of Tsukishima. Who knew that all she needed was a cockblock from a school nurse to get this side of him?

The bell rang, signally a break into between classes. They had history next; then, after that, English. (Y/N) really didn't want to miss any more classes as it was a pain in the ass to make up work. But, there was nothing she could do about it with her fever. As for Tsukishima, he probably had to head to class. Missing the rest of the day because he took a girl to the nurse's office probably wouldn't go over well the school. 

"I should head out," he said, awkwardly. "I'm disinfected enough."

"You call literally doing nothing other than comforting and grabbing my hand disinfecting?" (Y/N) laughed. "At least, wash your hands and put on a mask."

"Really? You think you can tell me what do to? You're the one who's sick."

"And, you carried me. Your point? Anyway, make sure to take good notes for me. I'll be doing nothing at home, so you can bring them to me, then."

"Eh? But, why not Himura?"

"As much as I want to apologize, I can't. Yoru-chan will have to come to terms with it herself. That's how she's always been. Her pride hurts her more than most. Plus, I know your notes are a hell of a lot neater than hers."

"Then, I guess I'll see you later. I hope I don't die because of your sick ass."

"Oh, thank you, I do have a pretty sick ass. Glad you think so."

"Just shut up already."


	8. At Home

As soon as (Y/N) got home, she flopped down on the couch. It felt good to be home. After Tsukishima left, she really got bored, and her thoughts took over. Like when Himura told her that she liked Tsukishima, she just couldn't believe that the blond French fry liked her. It was too unreal. What did she do to deserve this on top of everything?

She told herself that this was just part of the high school experience. It was what she wanted: a normal life until it couldn't be normal. Having a guy fall for you and your best friend falling for said guy was completely normal. Yep, not a plot that would only happened in manga, books, or dramas. 

Even the silence of her home was deafening. It just brought her back to Tsukishima's touch of her hand. His hard calloused skin. The warmth against her clammy sick hands. The little pulse of his quickened heartbeat. It was an innocent touch, but it had (Y/N) feeling this way. 

She didn't want to fall for him. Himura was scared of that, wasn't she? Maybe, just maybe, Himura saw that Tsukishima liked (Y/N). Is that why she was so worried? Then Yamaguchi said they were fighting like a married couple. Yamaguchi egged him on while she was on Himura's case. It was too complicated for her sick brain.

Sighing, she got up slowly to grab a glass of water. (L/N) Noami, her mother, had picked up an extra shift that would end at 11 that night, so (Y/N) was stuck at home by herself. Ito-san would pick up Ichika and bring her by the house at five, but she couldn't stay. They would have to figure out dinner sometime. Hopefully, she would feel healthy enough to stand long enough to cook something. 

It was about three at the current moment, and (Y/N) was absolutely bored. Normally, this is would have been when she would be heading home as she didn't have any clubs and Himura had hers. She usually picked up Ichika at 3:30. Their mom would return home around six unless she picked up an extra shift like that day. That was a pretty normal experience, especially when bills came in, even with all the money that their dad sent from America.

Due to her boredom, (Y/N) started up her Switch that was situated by the living room TV. In her hands was pink and green joy-cons. The system itself had been put into good use when they first got it as she had lots of time to play at the time. Nowadays it was an every-once-in-a-while thing. Because of its disuse, she really couldn't decide if she wanted to play Fire Emblem: Three Houses or Xenoblade Chronicles. After a minute or so, she went with Xenoblade Chronicles because she didn't think he had the mental capacity at the moment for Three Houses.

After thirty minutes of doing the plethora of side quests in the game, the door bell rang. (Y/N) went to the home screen and got the door. Sure enough, there was the blond of her thoughts. The one that screwed all her plans of making Himura happy. He smirked at her shocked reaction. "Didn't think you would actually see me, now?" he teased.

"Don't you have club activities?" she asked. She moved to the side, so he could come in. After all, she was tired of standing. He closed the door, and the two of them sat down on the couch.

"As soon as I walked into the gym, Sugawara forced me out because of the mask I was still wearing. Something about not wanting to make my condition worse. I swear his mom instincts are too much at times. It's just a bother." He pinched his nose and shook his head. "Anyway, I left because he told me I could, and that made this arrangement easier." He grabbed his bag and pulled out a spiral notebook. He flipped it open to a filled page and did the same with another. "Here's the History and English notes. In History, we talking about the Edo Period like we were yesterday. In English, we were going over progressive tenses. They were just working on the logarithmic homework in Math." I pulled out my phone and took pictures of all the pages I need.

When I was done, I looked at Tsukishima who was taking in the room. She saw him smirk when he looked at the switch home screen. Next to the icon for Xenoblade Chronicles was Super Smash Bros. Ultimate (which she had learned was a frequent pastime of the two boys). "You want to play?" I offered. 

"Oh, hell yeah. You're going down, Ichigo."

"Hey, take easy. I'm still sick." Both them paused. Tsukishima had forgotten. She was still pale, but she was much more her normal self. "Don't be taking back your decision now. I'm still going to kick your ass."

"I thought I was the sadist."

(Y/N) rolled her eyes. "Shut up, and set it up for me. The game boxes are below the TV along with the adapter and GameCube controllers. I just need to save." After she saved her progress, Tsukishima set everything up and handed (Y/N) her controller. She, then, booted up the game. 

"I'm surprised you of all people have GameCube controllers."

"My dad was a gamer especially when he was dating my mom, so this is from his gaming days." She smiled fondly at the thought of her dad who she hadn't seen in a while.

"I guess that makes sense." He took notice to her smile but didn't say anything.

"So, who do you main?"

"Usually, Ganondorf, but if I'm really feeling it, Shulk."

"I see what you did there." They both chuckled at the terrible joke. "I usually go as Zelda or Lucina, but I basically play every Fire Emblem except for Ike."

"What did poor Ike ever do to you?"

~*~*~*~

The two played until Ito came with Ichika. Seeing Tsukishima answer the door was a shock for the older woman, but she smiled knowingly at the two of them. Ichika, per usual, was elated. She promptly hugged Tsukishima which made (Y/N) laugh from the couch. Ito whispered something to Tsukishima that made him blush, but (Y/N) had no clue what she said. She just prayed it wasn't something embarrassing. 

Due to (Y/N)'s current condition, Tsukishima offered to make dinner (honestly, he was so much nicer when it was just them and it shocked her). So, he went off to make miso soup with rice on the side with Ichika trailing him. Once again, she was left alone, but it was peaceful unlike earlier. She yawned and laid down. She really was exhausted. This was the main reason she hated being sick. Sleep was annoying when she could be doing better things like reading, playing video games, and dancing awkwardly to music.

Being sick felt like her body was shutting down, and she hated that feeling. It felt like she had to stop fighting, like there was nothing she could do.

Soon, the world faded, and (Y/N) was in the world of sleep.

Meanwhile, Tsukishima was stuck babysitting Ichika in the kitchen while cooking. He didn't mind cooking for the three of them. (Y/N) had already explained why her mom wasn't there, so it was only logical that he'd cook for them. He had to hunt a bit for ingredients, though. Figuring it was best not to bother (Y/N), he did everything by himself.

Tsukishima still couldn't believe he was in her house. Plus, she probably figured out what he was going to say. God, was he an idiot. At least, she didn't hate him for it, so maybe, he had a chance. 

As much as he liked her, he really did not want to go through with confessing and later a relationship. It was a spur of the moment thing earlier. But, he was scared it could end like last time. No way in Hell did he want to relive that. If it wasn't for Yamaguchi, he might not have made it through. What if it was the same with (Y/N)? They were already so alike. What if the situation turned the same because they were so alike? 

As he stirred the soup, his eyes found the thin white scars that laid dormant under his wrist. They were a cruel reminder of the past. The scars stayed and followed him. There was no escape. It was the prison of his own body.

Most of the time, he just covered them in makeup. They had faded enough that it wasn't noticeable unless you really paid attention. His mom made sure that he always had concealer in the cabinet by the bathroom sink, so he could hide it if it grew too painful to look at it (though, she didn't start doing it until after the fact).

There were days, like that day, that he didn't even bother, though. He would just wear something that covered his wrists. That day, he had a hoodie on that he pulled up the sleeves on to cook.

Tsukishima would have rather not looked at them, but when they were out the open, it was hard. It frightened him. He didn't want his mental state to stoop down that low again.

He wouldn't survive that.

The timer chimed, and Tsukishima turned off the heat. Ichika was sitting at the table, coloring something. He couldn't see (Y/N), though. Almost gliding across the kitchen, he checked the couch and smiled. There was the girl, fast asleep. She hugged one of the pillows, and a small line of drool dripped down from her mouth. He chuckled softly at the sight.

Tsukishima thought about waking her. (Y/N) looked pretty peaceful, though. It was the complete opposite of her pained expression earlier. So, he decided to leave her. After all, he did enjoy looking at her sleeping form.

But, before he headed back to the kitchen, he placed a peck on her forehead.

After asking Ichika where the dishes were, Tsukishima prepared three meals. He put one in the turned-off microwave for (Y/N) later. Picking up the other two, he went to the table. Ichika's eyes widened as he placed her meal in front of her.

"Itadakimasu," they both said at the same time, clapping their hands. The younger girl dug into her soup and rice.

She then squealed, "This is amazing, Kei-niichan!"

"It's just miso soup and some rice," Tsukishima said. "Anyone could make it."

"But, you made it. That's what makes it so good. It's like how Okaasan's cooking is better than anyone else's. She made it for me, so it tastes better. You made this for Oneechan and me. That's makes it the best miso soup and rice."

Tsukishima nearly dropped his spoon. No one talked about his cooking that way. Even his mom, when Akiteru was at volleyball practice and his mom was still broken up about the divorce, never complimented it that way. And, for something as simple as miso soup, it would have been a miracle if she had said anything at all.

"Ichika..." he whispered. She didn't hear him, though. She just continued on eating without a care in the world. Children really did have low attention span. Tsukishima sighed and followed her ways.

The older boy found out that, despite her usual chipper attitude, she didn't talk much when eating. It was like she's become enthralled with the food and can't do anything else other than eat it. It was adorable how her eyes widened with every bite.

Soon enough, the two were done. They washed the dishes and left them out to dry. It was 6:35. (Y/N) was still in a sick coma on the couch, taking up the whole thing. Tsukishima held Ichika back from jumping up and snuggling in with her.

Since it was getting later, (Y/N) hadn't woken up and their mom wouldn't be back until 11, he made the decision to just spend the night. He just hoped their mom didn't kill him. He whipped out his phone and sent a quick text.

_From: Kei To: Okaasan_

_A friend of mine is sick, and she needs help with her little sister. Their mom won't home until late, so could I spend the night?_

A minute or two passed before she texted back. He sighed in relief when he saw her answer.

_From: Okaasan To: Kei_

_Of course. Make sure you take care of this friend. Her mom is probably worried._

_From: Kei To: Okaasan_

_Ok Okaasan._

He turned off his phone and sat down on the ground in front of the couch. Ichika, at some point, ran upstairs while he was texting. She bumbled down the stairs soon after. In her hands were two DVD boxes.

"Will you watch a movie with me, Kei-niichan?" she asked holding out a Disney movie. Tsukishima smirked. It was Tangled (which in his opinion was one of the best Disney princess movies). He glanced at the other hand, and it was Mulan. This child had great taste.

"Of course, Ichika." She grinned from ear to ear and went to put Tangled's DVD in. Grabbing the remote, she changed the source and started the movie.

Much to Tsukishima's surprise, she plopped down in his lap and grabbed his arms to wrap around her. He was completely perplexed by the whole situation. Relaxing, he pulled Ichika into a more comfortable position and watched the movie.

~*~*~*~

When (Y/N) awoke, she saw lanterns floating across the TV. It took her a couple of seconds before she realized it was the main song of Tangled, "I See the Light". She heard Ichika's little voice singing along. Smiling, she closed her eyes again. But, then a voice that wasn't Flynn Rider's started singing. Her eyes popped open and went wide as she saw the Tsukishima, the one that was a prick to everyone, serenading her little sister. (Y/N) pulled out her phone. She had to have proof of this to prove to herself it was not a dream. The best thing is she started recording in time for the duet.

"Kageyaiteiru..." they sang together.

Then, just Tsukishima, "Mirai terasu hikari..."

"Yume wo kanaeta..."

"Tokubetsu na yoru..." Ichika sang as she tried to hit the high note.

(Y/N) smiled as they continued on. Neither of them realized what she was doing. It was perfect for two reasons. One, it could be used as blackmail against Tsukishima, and two, it was too fucking precious.

Then, her chest hurt a little. She turned off the video as soon as they were done with the chorus. Coughing, she put the phone down. The two both turned to (Y/N). Tsukishima moved Ichika off his lap and went to grab a cup of water. Returning, he knelt and handed her the cup. (Y/N) took it in between coughs.

"Hey, you feeling okay?" he asked.

"Does it look like it?" she said quickly before coughing again.

"Do you have cough medicine of any kind?"

"In the right cabinet of the bathroom, there's some Mucinex."

Tsukishima ran upstairs to grab the medicine. Ichika crawled over and pouted, "Are you okay, Oneechan? Okaasan said it was bad if you coughed."

"It's not necessarily bad if anyone coughs. Even if you're not sick, you can cough. There's just something in your lungs that it doesn't like. Like when Okaasan is dusting, she coughs because she breathes in dust."

"So it's not a bad thing?"

"Not all the time, 'chika." Tsukishima, then, returned with the bottle of liquid. He poured the right amount in the little cup. (Y/N) took it like a shot. "Ugh, it still tastes like crap."

"Well, hopefully, you don't have to take anymore," Tsukishima said.

"Don't jinx it, now." (Y/N) gasped. "Move! It's my favorite part."

"God, you're so needy."

"Shut up." He laughed and sat down, moving slightly to the right so he wouldn't block her view. Ichika took her spot, again, in his lap, and they finished the movie.

~*~*~*~

"Huh? Did they leave the TV on? Seriously, they need make sure they don't fall asleep while watching." Tsukishima turned his head towards the voice and locked eyes with a older woman. Her hair was black like Ichika's and pulled back in a bun. She was dressed in a blazer and a pencil skirt. "Who are you?" she asked. She approached and glared at him.

He was dead, wasn't he?


	9. Her Mom

"I'm..." Tsukishima started but was interrupted. He took Ichika off his lap and stood.

"Wait, don't tell me," (L/N)-san said. She put a hand under her chin and thought. "Oh, are you the guy Emica-chan texted me about? Tsukishima, right? She said you were over here taking care of (Y/N) for me. I'm surprised you're still here. Your mom must be worried sick."

"Well, if it's okay with you, I was thinking I would spend the night. After all, I wanted to make sure they were fine until you got home."

"Well, aren't you sweet? Of course, you can stay."

He bowed. "Thank you, (L/N)-san." He straightened up. The older woman smiled at him. "There's miso soup and rice that your daughter didn't eat because she was asleep. It will need heating up, but you're welcome to it."

"Oh, so you can cook? That's good because (Y/N) can't for the life of her." Her mom looked sad for a second but then, put on another smile. "Would you be a dear and carry both of them to bed?"

Blushing softly, he nodded. He picked up Ichika. She stirred and subconsciously moved closer. Tsukishima went up the stairs and opened the door with her nameplate. Her room was surprisingly a lot like his room when he was younger. Not wanting to get held up, he put her down and pulled the covers over her.

Next was (Y/N). He had carried her earlier in the day, so it shouldn't have been a problem. But, this time he wasn't freaking out because she had collapsed. Now, he was fully aware of how close she was. Hell, it was something that would lovers would do. He was literally carrying her bridal style to bed. If she was awake, he wouldn't know what to do. 

If only he hadn't been interrupted earlier. He would have already told her how he felt. 

Of course, Yamaguchi was right about everything. The green-haired boy knew his best friend better than everyone else. He knew Tsukishima's crush even before Tsukishima knew it. Honestly, it wasn't a bad thing. Yamaguchi was kind of the grounded person he needed. Tsukishima might have been blind to the fact if not for him. 

God, was he right.

Tsukishima Kei had fallen for (L/N) (Y/N).

He had fallen for her laugh, her smile, and most importantly, her personality. She really was beautiful. Even though she was over 30 cm shorter than him, it was perfect. 

He knew it was fast, but he couldn't help but feel that way. Yamaguchi was right when he said she was a lot like her. That might started it. Now, it was different, though.

Tsukishima entered her room, blushing even more if that was even possible. Like he did with Ichika, he tucked her in. He sat down by her bedside. Taking in her room, he smiled at the little messes of paper and books scattered about. His eyes drifted back to (Y/N). They stopped at her lips. He imagined what it would be like kissing them and interlocking with them. He shook his head. Lastly, he brushed back her hair and kissed her forehead, whispering against it, "I love you, (Y/N)."

Smiling, he returned to the kitchen. (Y/N)'s mom was eating the bowl of miso soup at the table, with a mug of coffee in hand. She perked up as he entered the room. "Coffee?" she offered, holding up her cup. 

"If you have some ready," Tsukishima said. 

"The pot is over there. There should be enough for a cup."

Next to the fridge was the pot. Above it was the cabinets with the mugs. He took one down and poured the brown liquid in. "May I ask why we're having coffee at 11:30 at night?"

"I don't like alcohol in the house with Ichika still being young, so black coffee is my substitute. Today was rough."

"Want to talk about it?" Tsukishima sat down across from her as she wiped her eyes.

"Why not?" She took a sip of coffee. "So, I work as a receptionist for one of the high end hotels in Sendai. I have to take an hour drive just to get there. This morning, there was an accident, so traffic was backed up. That made me late for work. When I got there, someone else had taken over my shift, so I took up another one this evening. Then, they asked to me to make a supply run in Ōsaki which is where I was when I got the call saying (Y/N) was sick. So, I had to call work, pick up (Y/N), and head all the way back to Sendai. Luckily, once my actual shift started, everything calmed down, and Emica-san said you were watching them. Honestly, that made everything better. I don't know what I would have done if you weren't here."

"It's no problem, (L/N)-san. I enjoy spending time with your daughters."

The older woman chuckled a bit and smirked. "So, do you like (Y/N)?"

"Huh?" He looked away and covered his incoming blush.

"I knew it! Well, since he isn't here at the current moment, I guess I'm going to have to play the part of overprotective father." She put her finger up like a mustache and spoke in a lower voice. "So, you think you can just sweep my daughter off her feet? Better not break her heart, son, or I'll break you." She continued laughing, and Tsukishima joined in, awkwardly. "In my opinion, you are a fine boy for my daughter, but it's going to be tough."

"What do you mean? I'm already used to the way she acts if that's what you mean."

"No, it's not that. It's just she doesn't want to get close to someone and hurt them. It's a miracle that she even brought someone over here. Her friend, Yoru-chan, has only been here once. You two are the only ones that have visited here since her last year of grade school."

She was scared. (Y/N), the one who seems like she has no cares in the world, was scared of hurting people. Just by looking in her mom's eyes, he knew there was something that caused this change. He wanted to know, but him knowing could be the very reason she didn't want people close.

Like she had read his mind, (L/N)-san continued, "She will tell you why when she's ready. Who knows? It might be soon. Take my advice. If you want her to fall for you, just keep being there for her. Let her set the pace.

"But, don't freak out when she tells you."

Tsukishima flinched at the sudden change. It was almost a threat, but it carried a sadness to it. He was worried how scarred she really was.

"Can I ask one last thing?" he inquired. She nodded. "Is her upbeat behavior an act?"

"No." She paused as if she was thinking of elaborating. "She might lie to hide her worries, but she really is happy. She doesn't want any sad memories, so she tries to as optimistic as possible."

"I guess that's better than covering up everything."

"Don't worry, Tsukishima-kun. Oh, I forgot. What's your first name?"

"Kei."

"Thank you, Kei, for caring for (Y/N) as much as I do. Good luck on capturing her heart."

~*~*~*~

Tsukishima slept on the couch. Sometime after midnight, (L/N)-san went to her room. She had gotten him blankets, pillows, and a change of clothes, so the couch was fairly comfortable.

When he woke up, it was 7:30. Morning practice had already started. Tsukishima sat up too fast, and suddenly, he felt really dizzy and like shit. He could feel his heartbeat throb in his head. Rubbing his temples, he winced in pain. He kept shivering while sweating bullets.

"Oh, you're awake," he heard (L/N)-san called from the kitchen. She gasped right after she said that, though and practically ran to him. She held her hand to his forehead. "Kei, you're burning up. Lay back down. I'll get the cold compress." As she ran back to the kitchen, he did as she said.

The team was probably worried where he was. Tsukishima thought about texting them, but all he wanted to do was close his eyes. When was the last time he felt this sick? He couldn't remember. Maybe when he was eleven.

(Y/N)'s mom returned with a cold compress and placed it across his forehead. It was ice cold, but it felt good against his hot skin. "I'm going to take your temperature, and then, I can call your mom and update her." Again, she left the room and returned. He took the thermometer into his mouth. It read 38.8 degrees, nearly as high as (Y/N)'s, yesterday.

He was most definitely not going to school today.

"Kei, what's your mom's number?" (L/N)-san asked.

"(XXX) XXX-XXXX" He responded. His voice was rather scratchy compared to the day before. It hurt to speak, but not as bad as when he had strep throat back in grade school. She nodded and pulled out her phone. A few taps later and the phone was playing its dial tone.

"Hello?" Tsukishima faintly heard through the phone.

"Hello. Is this Tsukishima-san?" He couldn't hear really what his mom was saying on the other. "This is (L/N) Naomi. Your son, Kei, slept over at our house last night?" A pause. "Well, it seems in the process of nursing my daughter, (Y/N), he got himself sick." Some frantic noises escaped from the other side of the phone. "He can stay here, so you don't have to worry. I already cancelled my shift for the day to take care (Y/N), so his presence really won't be a problem. After you're done with work, I can bring him over." Tsukishima's eye widened in surprise. He had forgotten that his mom usually left the house around 7:30. Morning practice started around 7, so he never saw her leave for work. Even in middle school, he was already out of the house. "Oh, it's really no problem, Tsukishima-san. Your son is a pleasure to have here. It put my mind at ease, knowing he was here, taking care of my daughter." (L/N)-san laughed a bit at his mom's response, most likely something about his normal behavior at home. "Really? I would not have expected that. Well, I'll let you go. You have to head off to work. Bye, Tsukishima-san." A few seconds later the line went dead.

Tsukishima sighed and closed his eyes. He thought about going back to sleep. That sounded nice, but he really didn't think he could. Grabbing his phone, he saw a message and sent a quick text back to Yamaguchi, telling him to tell the team he was sick.

"Kei," (Y/N)'s mother said. Her hand brushed back his hair away from the cold compress. "You probably heard, but you'll be staying here until your mom gets back from work. If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask me. For the day, I am your mom."

He hummed in response and close his eyes, again. Tsukishima was almost happy that he ended up in this situation. His crush's mom caring for him as if he was a part of the family. Sleeping over at her house. Caring for her as if he was already her boyfriend. It was nice, except for him feeling like shit. That part was not comfortable.

A loud cough was heard from upstairs. (L/N)-san perked up and ran to go see what was the matter. It was definitely (Y/N), but it sounded a lot worse compared to last night. Perhaps, her sickness hadn't reached its peak. Tsukishima still could feel worse in the next couple of hours if that was the case.

He just hoped that this would pass, so he could actually confess.


	10. Sick Day

(Y/N)'s own chest felt like it was suffocating her.Every time she coughed, the pain was unbearable.It was a fifty-ton weight of her chest that wouldn't let up. 

When she had coughed the night before, it hadn't been this bad.If anything, it was a drop in the ocean compared to the coughing when she awoke.The illness really gave her false hope.

At this point, she realized the whole house probably had heard her.Meaning, if he was awake, he knew how bad her condition had gotten. 

Tsukishima shouldn't have to worry about that.

Rolling out of bed, (Y/N) stumbled through the nausea the fever brought.She had to make it to the stairs.She had to make it to the stairs.Coughing, she slid across the hardwood floors.Once she made it, her mom met her. 

"(Y/N)! Why are you out of bed?Does anything hurt?"(L/N)-san said.

"My chest hurts from all the coughing," she explained.She had thought about lying, but that seemed like a bad idea at the moment."Can I have some medicine?"

"Of course, I'll get it.I was just about to grab some for Kei."

'Kei?' (Y/N) thought to herself.'When she learn his first name?More importantly, why does he need medicine?'

The girl practically launched herself past her mother and down the stairs.Sure enough, there was Tsukishima with a red face and a cold compress on his face.Honestly, it was kind of cute.After all, he was sick because he took care of her.In a weird way, it showed he actually cared.It was comforting.She felt as if she could forget for a moment about him liking her instead of Himura.(Y/N) could forget about all the things that the notes said.That she was ugly.That she wasn't good enough.That she just used pity to get people close to her.That she didn't deserve to be friends with Tsukishima. 

That her life wasn't important.

"Good morning, Tsukishima," she said.Slowly, she sat down on the ground next to him."You look splendid"

He groaned, "Well, we are both literally hot stuff.Shouldn't you be resting?" 

"I'm resting on the ground.Plus, my fever went down because of the medicine last night.Not my best but better."

"Good for you.Glad I'm the only one that feels like shit."She rolled her eyes at his snarky statement.

"Don't be like that.You're the one that chose to spend the night on the couch where I laid all afternoon.Also, my dad's clothes look so baggy on you.You're so skinny."

"I'd rather be skinny than fat.That would just be hassle."

"Still, you should eat more.Put on some muscle."

"Whatever."

"(Y/N)!Kei!" her mother called.She carried some pills and two glasses of water.Tsukishima sat up, wincing and grabbing his head.(L/N)-san passed out the medicine (with two extra pills going to (Y/N)), and the two took them.The older woman smiled brightly at the two of them before sending a quick wink to Tsukishima."I'm going to make some breakfast.There's still some oatmeal left from when your dad last visited.That and a banana would be good for your stomachs."

"That sounds great, (L/N)-san.It's been a while since I've had oatmeal," Tsukishima replied through a wince.

"I'll make it the best oatmeal you've ever had."

"Okaasan, why are you still home?"(Y/N) asked."You're usually gone by now, and I'm usually waking up Ichika."

"I can't just go to work and leave two sick people in my house.I would be a terrible mother and host.Don't worry about Ichika; Emica-chan is picking her up and taking her to day care."(Y/N) let out a sigh of relief."I'll call the two of you once it's done."(L/N)-san went to the kitchen.

(Y/N) smiled (which made Tsukishima happy and brought comfort to his pain) and turned around to lean against the couch.Her nose filled with the soft smell of the oat cooking, and her eyes flutter closed.

~*~*~*~

When 7 o'clock hit, the volleyball team had all arrived expect for the blond first year.The freak duo was already practicing with Kiyoko tossing to them.The third years were chatting with the crazy second years.Yamaguchi had joined the three quiet second years but kept scanning the room for his best friend.But, there was not one patch of light blond hair to be seen.No snarky comments to be heard.It almost felt empty without him there. 

Coach Ukai walked in and yelled at everyone to circle up.Now, everyone was alerted to missing Tsukishima."Hey, Yamaguchi-kun," Daichi said, "do you have any clue to where Tsukishima is?"

The green-haired male shrugged."By now, he would sent me a message.I'll send a text."

From: YamaguchiTo: Tsukki

Hey, you okay?Practice is starting.

Yamaguchi waited, but there was no reply."Did he say anything?" Sugawara asked. 

The first year sighed and shook his head."No.This really isn't like him."

"Stingyshima wasn't at practice yesterday afternoon, but I saw him during the day," Hinata said.

"Wait a minute, maybe he's sick," Suga realized. "He tried to come yesterday, but he had a mask. I sent him home. I didn't want him to feel like he was dying from his sickness."

"Sugamama strikes again," Tanaka laughed.

Suga blushed slightly, sent a glare to the second year, and continued on. "He might be still asleep and recovering."

"(L/N)-chan must have got him sick," Yamaguchi concluded. The team turned to him. They all wore faces of confusion. "She collapsed yesterday during lunch. Tsukki carried her to the nurse and stayed there for the next class period. He said she had a fever. Ito-san gave him the mask because she didn't want him to spend germs."

"So that's why Tsukishima was carrying her," Kageyama commented. 

"Hey, are they dating?" Nishinoya asked. He cocked a eyebrow and smirked. Honestly, he was jealous his kouhai got to carry a lovely girl, but if they were dating, it would be great material to tease him with. 

"They're too blind to realize that the other likes them..." Yamaguchi sighed. 

"We could always be wingmen and help him. Imagine our grumpy kouhai in an actual relationship with someone."

"You can try, but he won't admit it."

"I'll make him."

"Oi! We still have practice. Discuss Tsukishima's love life on your own time," Daichi reprimanded, slapping the back of Noya's head.

"Hey, I wasn't the only one discussing it, Dadchi." That nickname earned another slap from the captain. 

Little did the team know, but a certain someone was watching.

~*~*~*~

Tsukishima and (Y/N) both laid on the couch. Well, it was more like she was laying on top of him, and he just laid down on the pillow with his head turned towards the TV. 

(L/N)-san had scolded her daughter about sitting on the floor, but she didn't want to go back to her bed.Tsukishima really didn't feel like moving.So, the girl just took her place on top of him.He blushed hard, but luckily, he could play it off as the fever.

As for (Y/N), she was too tired and sick to really care about how she was acting.Had she been in her right mind, she might have realized how flirty and forward her actions seemed.She would die if Himura saw her like that. 

Luckily, she didn't have to worry about that at the moment.

Her mom giggled knowingly at the sight when she went to get them.The oatmeal was done. Hesitantly, as Tsukishima really didn't want her to leave him, he pushed (Y/N) off, so they could eat. 

They returned to that position, though.He was over the moon.Did she know that he was about to confess, and this was her answer?Did he actually have a chance?

He really hoped that was the case.The only reason he was about to confess was it felt like he had all the courage in the world.Without it, he doubted if he even could survive a relationship.Tsukishima wanted one with (Y/N), but he didn't want her to leave him.What if he wasn't good enough for her?What if someone better came and swept her off her feet?

He didn't want to think about that. 

"Hey, do you want to watch a movie?" (Y/N) asked."There's nothing else we can do."

"I guess so," Tsukishima replied. 

"Oh, what about Titanic?"

"You want to watch thousands of people die this early in the morning, Ichigo?"She huffed, indignantly."Fine.Put it in."Happily, she crawled off of him and went to their stacks of movies.The adrenaline made her forget all the nausea.Tsukishima smiled slightly at her excitement.He didn't know, but she saw it and stared before she turned away with a blush.

After popping the DVD in, (Y/N) bounced back on Tsukishima. He had tried to move so he wouldn't have her directly on him the whole movie, but she wouldn't budge. He accepted his fate and got as comfortable as he could. 

Oh, it was a good day to be sick.

~*~*~*~

Rumors about Tsukishima Kei and (L/N) (Y/N) circled around the school. The main one being that they were dating. After all, Tsukishima was the one to offer to take her to the nurse. He never went out of his way to help anyone except for Yamaguchi. The mere thought that he wanted to help her added suspicion. 

And with the suspicion came the rumors and hate. It was no secret that Tsukishima was one of the most handsome of the first year bachelors. He even had a little fan club. Not that they were very vocal. They didn't want to suffer the punishment of him finding out. 

Instead they worked in the shadows. They had one leader who created all the plans. She happened to be in the same class as the supposed couple, so she could get of the details. 

She, like everyone, was shocked when (Y/N) collapsed. She was jealous, of course, but she wasn't necessarily pleased with it. She knew would only let them grow closer. 

Something had to be done. Those who did nothing gain nothing, after all.

~*~*~*~

From: Yamaguchi To: Tsukishima

The team wants to end practice early and visit you. I think Hinata, Kageyama, Tanaka, and Noya want to tease you, but the others are bringing a meat bun since Daichi was already planning on treating us for the past week.

His eyes rolled open from their slumber due to the buzzing of his phone. The TV had been turned off at some point (most likely by (L/N)-san). (Y/N) still was sprawled across him.

Tsukishima didn't remember when they fell asleep. (Y/N)'s soft breathing was heard during the last half before he soon followed. That was four hours ago. School was ending in about a hour.

From: Tsukishima To: Yamaguchi

My mom won't be home until six tonight.

He chose to leave out the part that he was at (Y/N)'s house. Too much trouble if the team found that out. Almost immediately, he got a text back.

From: Yamaguchi To: Tsukishima

WAIT, YOUR MOM LEFT YOU ALONE AT HOME WHILE YOU WERE SICK?! SHE WOULD NEVER.

Crap, he had forgotten that Yamaguchi knew that his mom would drop everything, so one of her boys wouldn't have to be alone when sick.

From: YamaguchiTo: Tsukishima

WHERE ARE YOU?

From: Tsukishima To: Yamaguchi

Fine. You caught me. (L/N)'s mom offered to take care of me along with (L/N) when I woke up sick this morning. My mom is coming to pick me up after work. 

From: Yamaguchi To: Tsukishima

I am expecting the whole story later. If (L/N)-chan and her mom is okay with it, we can visit both of you.

From: TsukishimaTo: Yamaguchi

I'll ask her after she wakes up. It's not my fault if all of you get sick.

Tsukishima put his phone down. His fingers ran through (Y/N)'s hair. "I don't want them to come ruin this moment, (Y/N)"

The girl stirred on top of him. She opened her eyes to meet Tsukishima's. He blushed and hoped she didn't hear that. "Hmm, you called me by my first name," she hummed into his chest. "I like it." Then, she fell asleep, again.

Damn, this girl really knew how to pull at all his heartstrings.


	11. Get Well

"Hey, (L/N)-chan! How are you feeling?"

"Better, I guess. Still a little nauseous."

The whole Karasuno boy's volleyball club—with the exception of Tsukishima who had retreated into the kitchen—stood at her front door. The blond boy had informed her that they wanted to come, but she still couldn't believe that they all showed up. They were supposed to be at practice. They didn't have to come to care about them.

(L/N)-san heard the news and immediately started to cook and clean up the house for visitors. She also seemed perplexed why a bunch of boys were coming to visit the two. Her mother smiled at the thought of her daughter making friends. It was a rare occurrence after all for her to let anyone come over.

The captain led the group with Yamaguchi and Sugawara close behind. He held a small bag that emanated the smell of fresh meats and bread. (Y/N) could feel the walls of her mouth salivating from the delicious smell. She beckoned them in with the wave of her hand.

The TV was still on, but (Y/N) had put it on Spotify to play music. It was playing an American pop hit and was playing songs similar to it. She had cleaned up the stray tissues and paper cups from when they took medicine. The blankets weren't bothered with because she knew either she or Tsukishima would wrap up in one later once the chills got unbearable.

The other thing the two didn't bother with was their appearance. (Y/N) knew that she looked like shit. Her hair wasn't brushed, and she was still in her pajamas—which she had changed into sometime during the night when she realized she was still in her clothes from yesterday. Her face was still pink from the fever, and her whole body was shaking sporadically. Tsukishima was the same way, but he was dressed in the slightly baggy clothes from her dad.

"My mom is making some food," (Y/N) said as she led them into the living room. "It should be done soon."

"We don't want to impose, (L/N)," Suga said.

"Nonsense, you try and talk her out of it. Trust me. She won't take no for an answer."

"If you say so."

"(L/N)-chan! Where's Stingyshima?" Hinata jumped up and down saying it.

"Oi, dumbass, you can't just barge in demanding things," Kageyama scolded. Hinata pouted.

"For once, I agree with the King," Tsukishima said, walking out of the kitchen.

"Wow, you weren't lying when you said you were sick."

"Of course, I wasn't lying. Why would a spend the whole day over here instead of doing the work I'll have to do later? Really, the only bonus to this is I don't have to deal with your cocky ass for once."

"You two, stop arguing," Daichi said, about to go full captain mode on them. "It's rude to the (L/N)s."

(Y/N) laughed. "My mom probably is enjoying all the liveliness. Don't worry about them, Daichi-senpai."

The two second-years' eyes sparkled. They launched themselves in front of her. "Aww, (Y/N)-chan is so cute with she laughs," Nishinoya praised.

"Truly an angel sent from above like our Kiyoko," Tanaka agreed.

The tips of (Y/N)'s ears went pink. "T-Thank you, Nishinoya-senpai, Tanaka-senpai," she stuttered. The two nearly fainted.

This was exactly what Tsukishima didn't want. Those idiots threw themselves at any pretty girl that was sweet. (Y/N) definitely fit those credentials. Not that he would ever admit that out loud. But, there was a part of him that was jealous of them. They had no fear of rejection. Hell, they were used to it with Kiyoko. It was a daily thing for them, but for Tsukishima? He lived in the despair of the thought that his feelings wouldn't be reciprocated. Then, there was the fear that it could all end after it started. His parents were married and in love for seventeen years before they got a divorce. They fought and fell apart, leaving him in the aftermath. His father found another to love, most likely. Akiteru had forgiven his father, but he hadn't. After all, he was part of the reason he didn't wear his heart on his sleeve.

Then, there were people like them, so carefree. They hadn't experienced the cruelties of life as he had.

How lucky they were.

To his rescue came her mom. An apron hung from her neck and was tied around her waist. "Oh my, what a crowd this is. So, it's true that the whole volleyball team cares for my dear girl. I don't know if that should put me at ease or worry. My husband might get after all of you for getting too close, especially the one that got sick because he took care of (Y/N) and Ichika."

"Okaasan!" (Y/N) blushed in embarrassment. It was awfully clear what her mom was insinuating. Tsukishima also donned a similar color.

"Ehh?" Hinata elbowed the taller glasses-wearing first year. "So, is that the real reason you're sick and over here, Tsukishima?"

"No fair! I want to take care of my precious kouhai!" The idiot second years yelled at the same time. Ennoshita and Kinoshita kept the two from tackling Tsukishima. Yamaguchi moved closer to Tsukishima and sent a look that just said, 'I told you so'.

Suga and (L/N)-san looked at each other and shared a mom moment. The crow mother, then, understood completely what was going on. Suga knew that he would have a talk with his crushing first year later.

"Okay, that's enough," Daichi shouted over the arguing. "Listen to (L/N)-san, and stop being so disrespectful."

"It's all okay," her mom said. "It just shows how much (Y/N) means to you. It's a pleasant thing." She clapped her hands. "Alright, (Y/N) and Kei, go sit down and rest. I won't have you two collapsing because you stood too long. Everyone else, come help me for a second. I need to put out another table and set it." Everyone nodded and followed (L/N)-san.

Tsukishima and the girl also followed instructions and took a seat. They were notably farther apart than they were before. "I'm sorry," she said with the slight bow of her head.

"For what?" he asked.

"My mom. I swear she says the most embarrassing things sometimes."

He chuckled. "Trust me, I know. What do you think her reaction was when she saw me with one of her daughters asleep on my lap and the other on the couch at 11:30?"

"I had forgotten about that... that explains how I got into my bed. So wait, you stayed up and waited for her to get home?"

"Yeah. I'm not an idiot, dumbass. I knew I needed to greet her or else I would be in for a world of trouble."

The song then changed on the TV. Tsukishima was really paying attention to it before, but the song that came on caught him. His heart clenched with his fists. 'Why does this have to come on right now?'

_"When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind."_

It was "The Only Exception" by Paramore. He heard it so much back in middle school. It had been like his day-to-day soundtrack. Someone who loved the song played it for him a lot, saying it was their song.

How true that was. Looking back, it was scary how right she was.

(Y/N) looked over at him and scowled. "Hey, Tsukishima, you okay?"

"I'm going to use the bathroom," Tsukishima said bluntly and walked up the stairs. He could feel her eyes bearing into the back of his skull. It also felt pitying among the analytical nature of the stare. Closing the door to the bathroom, he stared at himself in the mirror. His whole body was shaking. His eyes were threatening to cry. Turning on the water, he splashed his face a couple of times. The cold water didn't affect him at all. "You are okay. You are okay," he whispered to himself. "Don't think about it. Don't think about it." He stared at the scars like he had the day before. The little white lines seemed to hold so much power, so much damn power. Now, they seemed to scream out at him.

_'It was your fault.'_

_'You should have done something.'_

_'Omission is a sin, you know.'_

_'You self-centered fucker.'_

_'Worthless piece of shit.'_

_'You shouldn't be allowed to love anyone.'_

"Please, just stop..."

_'Why didn't you stop what happened?'_

Sharp fingernails dragged against the side of his head. Like an animal in a cage, he wanted to fight his way out from his degrading thoughts that were overtaking him.

"Please, just get out of my head... please... please..."

_'You deserve this.'_

_'You're nothing but a monster.'_

_'Everyone just wants you to kill yourself and get it over with.'_

He slammed his fist against the counter, not caring that it would bruise later. His hand moved to without second thought to open the left cabinet. His eyes widened as he remembered he was not home, and that he reverted back to his old ways. There were not the usual small razors. He wasn't home. This wasn't somewhere where he could administer to his thoughts. There were people downstairs. His crush was concerned. The razors weren't there. He couldn't fix it. The scars seemed to throb at the thought. The thought was horrifying. 

He ignored all the medicine bottles and closed the cabinet door. "Stop spouting those lies," he breathed, more to convince himself. "Breathe, Kei. Breathe. Don't listen to them." His breath wavered as he tried to calm it. Nothing seemed to be working, but he couldn't let them see it. So, he put on his classic smirk and took his cocky attitude to the voice. "Talk to me when I actually care. Right now, you're just a nuisance. All you've ever been is a nuisance."

_'If I was in front of your face, could you still say that?'_

"You're not, so there's no problem." He took one last long pitiful look at himself and headed back to his team and crush.

~*~*~*~

"(Y/N)-chan! Don't pass me by!"

"Sorry, Tanaka-senpai, but you're going to go faster than that."

"(L/N)-chan, how are you so good?"

"Have you thought it could just be that you're terrible, Hinata?" Tsukishima replied.

"Stingyshima, I don't suck! I'm in 5th place," Hinata pouted.

"Ichigo is in first. I'm in second. Tanaka's in fourth. You're losing against all of us."

"But I'm beating seven CPUs. I'm not losing to them."

Tsukishima and (Y/N) both put down their controllers as they finished the Mario Kart race. He clicked his tongue at the orange-haired boy. "Seriously, Hinata, at least try to decent. At this rate, I don't even have to try and make fun of you. We're playing on 50cc AKA the easiest difficulty. It would be pitiful if you weren't being the CPUs." 

"Shut up, Stingyshima! It's not like I spend every day locked up in my room playing video games."

"As if anything other than volleyball could fit in that pea-sized brain of yours."

"Knock it off, you two!" Suga said. Daichi agreed by whacking them both upside the head. "Seriously, fighting while sick is a bad idea, Tsukishima. And Hinata, don't provoke him!"

"Yes, Suga!" Hinata cried, not wanting to face the wrath of Daichi and Suga. 

"Whatever," Tsukishima said. 

(Y/N) laughed, "Saltyshima. You wanted to fight more."

She wasn't wrong. Provoking and teasing others was a way of coping for him. After all, he had to keep his appearances.

"Maybe, I do," he retorted. "After all, hanging out with someone as disagreeable as you all day would make anyone want to fight someone."

"I call official bullshit. You could have fought with me at any time, but you watched movies with me all day, even Titanic, so don't say you didn't enjoy it."

Tsukishima clicked his tongue. A light blush graced his cheeks. "What?! Is that a blush I see? Hmm, Tsukishima?" Tanaka teased. "Did you actually enjoy being alone with a girl all day?"

"He did, didn't he?" Nishinoya joined. "I ship it," he whispered to Tsukishima, who only blushed further. 

"Hey, Tsukki, would you get sick again just to do this again?" Yamaguchi told only his best friend. He knew the truth, of course, but he didn't want to make it obvious that he knew. 

"Shut up, Yamaguchi," Tsukishima snapped, quietly. The mere thought that everyone knew that he liked (Y/N) before he even confessed drove him even more crazy. What if everyone pressuring her caused her to not like him? What if she rejected him before he asked?

Nevertheless, Yamaguchi chuckled at his flustered behavior and bowed his head, jokingly. "Sorry, Tsukki."


	12. Shadow

He couldn't get it out of his head. The fucking song kept playing on repeat like a broken record, one that was as broken as he was. _"You are the only exception. You are the only exception. You are the only exception."_

_"Never sing of love if it does not exist."_

_"Leave me with some proof it's not a dream."_

When he got into the car with his mom, his mind regressed. He didn't even see the team waving to him and the (L/N)s. The car starting didn't register in his mind. 

The silence was deafening. Sure, Tsukishima's mom checked up on him and fussed, but he only gave generic responses. It felt like silence to him. 

Silence was like the stopping of a heartbeat. 

He didn't want to be left in silence again. It scared him. No one could stop what comes in the silence.

As soon the car stopped in front of his house, he went to his room. The boy almost forgot to take outside shoes.

His room wasn't of much comfort, but he did not want to confront his mom right now. Not when he felt like all the walls would come crashing down. Like a tidal wave, it was crushing him. The shaking was back. The tightness in his chest constricted him. He was positive it wasn't from his bodily sickness. He was sick in the head. A disease so incurable to him that he would do anything to make it all go away. His mind a battleground worthy of a world war.

His brain filled with one name: hers. It was his fault. It was his fault. Everything that happened was his fault. He could have stopped it. She didn't have to leave. His dad didn't have to cut ties with him and his mom. He could have helped his mom more. He could have helped her not feel as alone. He could have even helped before his parents split apart. He didn't have to be swallowed up by all the pain, too blind to see what was in front of his eyes.

He didn't even notice the nails digging into his scalp, breaking the skin. The blood was running red like his thoughts. 

_'Worthless piece of shit.'_

_'Why are you still standing?'_

_'Get it fucking over with.'_

"Stop..." he breathed. His knees fell to the wooden floor. "Please... get out of my head..." The tears slipped. The unusually wet feeling on his face made him want to scream. He was strong. He was unbreakable. That's what he wanted others to see. Then, it would be true. 

His lungs felt like they were collapsing. He could still breathe, but it hurt like hell. Quickly, he scanned the floor for something, anything to relieve the pain, to kill the voices—just something to rip them out. There wasn't his usual escape. His mom had made sure of that. Still, he needed to find solace.

A lone butterknife sat on his desk from his dinner two nights ago.

~*~*~*~

_"Well, well, now, you've really done it. Not only do you have the whole fucking staff wrapped around your finger, but now, you have the handsome Tsukishima Kei that doesn't give a damn about anyone. So, what now? Are you his fuck toy? He would enjoy being the bastard he is: tying you up, insulting you, using you like an object. He only shows affection in school because he doesn't want everyone to see how messed up your relationship is._

_How does it feel to be envied and hated by the whole female population at Karasuno? Your little scene earlier had to be an act. No one just collapses and suddenly has a fever. You were perfectly fine earlier in the day. Why then did you become sick? I think everyone wants to call you out on your bullshit. Was that just an excuse just to have alone time, you slut?_

_You must think you are so bright. Now, the whole school knows that Tsukishima is yours and yours alone. I bet you were elated with your "victory." This little game has consequences, though. I swear to God that your school life won't be pretty. You have two options: leave Tsukishima alone, live happily with your friend Himura Yuro, or have no one on your side. I'm not blind. I see that Himura likes him. Go ahead and take him if you don't care about her. I'll make sure she believes every rumor._

_Choose wisely._

_-Your "Admirer"_

This note was what she found in her shoe when she left school sick. (Y/N) hadn't read it until now. None of them were like this. None of this threatened her. They only brought down her self-esteem. They called her a whore, a slut, a bitch, a gold digger, and even a future prostitute. She got over it since it was obviously petty.

But, now, they called her out on the fear she was having since yesterday. (Y/N) didn't want Himura to leave her. Indeed, there were things she never told Himura before, but that didn't change the fact that Himura was the person that she trusted the most without being family. They had only been friends since their second year of middle school. Still, they were sisters. She won't change that for the world.

(Y/N) didn't want to be left alone.

Tsukishima cared. (Y/N) didn't want to hurt him and leave. If only Himura had already confessed. Maybe, then, it would be alright. She was still insecure about her feelings, though. There wasn't a chance that she would reveal soon.

(Y/N) had to distance himself from Tsukishima. The thought pulled at her heartstrings. But, she didn't want to lose the one person that stuck by her side and made her feel like a typical teenager.

Could she explain it to him? Would he understand? Would they be okay?

No one knew about the notes, and (L/N) (Y/N) intended to keep it that way. No one needed to pity her. She didn't want to go through that again.

~*~*~*~

The metal was cold against his still clammy and feverish hand. It shook violently. 

The ridged blade brushed his inner thigh before digging into it. Red erupted like a volcano. It wasn't deep enough that it hit his femoral artery, but it felt like it. The knife cut through the muscle. It needed to crave deeper into his flesh, to hurt more.

The familiar pain wasn't something he had felt since middle school; the fading scars next to the cut were evidence of that. Despite his better judgment, the sting was comforting. Like a high caused by everything you know is terrible for your body. The voices were still there, but his pain distracted him from them. It was pleasing. He needed more of it.

That's what they wanted. But that's also what Tsukishima wanted.

_'Waste of space. Coward. Egocentric.'_

For each word, he added a cut. After all, they were right. That was the main reason he hated the voices. The truth hurts the most.

"Worthless. Why am I even here?"

The warm liquid ran both his legs. It hurt so bad that he nearly couldn't stand it. Sobbing, he almost let the utensil fall from his grip.

_'You don't have the right to stop. Go through with it already.'_

He took the knife to his neck and pressed it against it. A line of red dripped down from the already stained blade. 

Tsukishima wanted to get it over with. The need to be punished for everything was immense. After all, he was such a screwup. No one needed to comfort him. They just needed to leave him alone. He didn't deserve it.

The door slammed open, and the elder Tsukishima dropped the bottle of medicine she was carrying. "Kei!" she screamed as she ran to his side. 

He moved back away from her. "Get away from me!" he cried out. The knife shook against his throat. "Please... I want to. Don't stop me..." His back hit the wall.

Her heart broke at the sight of her son bloody with the knife. She saw the past again—the recurring nightmare formed in the real world.

Without even thinking, she rushed forward. Grabbing the knife, she threw it across. Her arms enveloped her son as his sobs became more scream-like. Like a neverending spring, his sticky blood spread to her black slacks. She took his glasses off and held him tighter, despite his protest. "Kei, it's okay. It's okay, baby. I'm here." Her own tears started.

"Please... Okaasan... I'm so scared... I want it to end." he barely got out. The boy hyperventilated. 

"I know, baby. I know. There's nothing to be scared of right now. I'm not going to leave your side."

"Why... why... I don't deserve it..."

"Don't listen to that, Kei. You deserve the world. Life's not a nice person, but we have each other. That's all that matters."

The first year couldn't even talk at this point. His cries were too loud and overbearing. Her warmth and heartbeat were all he needed to focus on.

She rubbed his back, helping him relax further in her arms. "Kei, I know it hurts, but she doesn't blame you. I know that. Tadashi would say the same thing. You are worthy of all the things you think that you're not. Please see that. You are loved and deserving of it. I couldn't ask for a better son."

They sat there as his breathing slowed, and his mind went blank. The younger Tsukishima fell asleep in her arms. 

She cried harder after she saw that he was asleep. Tsukishima Umi was afraid when she would see that side of her son again. That hurt worse than when her husband left. Her own flesh and blood thought he wasn't worth anything. The first time around, she didn't even notice his pain. It wasn't until he was nearly death's door that life hit her in the face. She vowed in that hospital room to never wallow so much in her own misery that she overlooked her youngest child.

They were both scarred by that day.

Tsukishima-san kept holding her son while she let her sobs out. If he had been home alone or she wasn't going to check on him, what would have happened? Would it be a repeat of that day? Would her baby Kei be gone? He was almost gone. His neck bleeding was a testament to that.

She didn't want to eat dinner that night. She sat there until all tears were dry. She knew he needed medical attention, but she couldn't even move for the longest time. Even then, she didn't know if she had enough money to afford a hospital visit. Payday wouldn't be for another week. Her ex-husband didn't send money because she didn't want it. She didn't even want to think about him. 

Tsukishima-san knew she couldn't carry her son. He was tall and dead weight at the moment. She couldn't bear to wake him up, though. Slowly, she put him down and went and grabbed a futon from the closet. She rolled it out and carried her son to it. Wiping her eyes, she stepped out of the room.

She went to the bathroom and grabbed rubbing alcohol, cotton pads, towels, gauze, and bandages. It was a used roll, but it would be enough for both his legs and his neck.

Tsukishima-san returned to the bloody nightmare. Blood started to pool on the futon from each cut. He tore each gash in some way. Some of them almost looked like he sawed them in. Like it just wasn't deep enough for him.

She put some alcohol on a pad and gently cleaned each cut. Then, she wiped all the excess blood on his legs with the towels. Lastly, she pressed the gauze against the wound and wrapped them up with the bandages. Trying not to cry, she left the room again.

His mom couldn't miss any work. As much as she wanted to stay by his side the next day, they needed her at work. The manager was on vacation, and they were understaffed because some senior workers had retired. Every flight needed someone.

But Tsukishima was not going to school the next day. Even if he wanted to, she would force him to stay home. If it were like last time, his emotions would be too out-of-check, and he wouldn't get any work done.

Last time, he didn't go to school for a whole two weeks after they released him from the hospital despite his insisting. They kept a strict eye on him the next few months, but they let him stay home. When she had to work, Tadashi would remain with him. The school had excused him to do so.

That seemed like the only option at the current moment.

Dialing the phone, she called Yamaguchi-san. "Hello?" she heard.

"Sara," her voice felt like it was going to break. It was still hoarse from crying.

"Oh my gosh, Umi, what happened?"

"It's... he relapsed."

"Hold on. I'm bringing myself and Tadashi over there. We'll be there in five minutes. Tadashi!"

"Thank you, Sara." She wiped her eye that wetted itself.

"That's why we're here, Umi. And we'll always be here. I'll see you in a few."

Yamaguchi-san had hung up the phone, and Tsukishima-san sunk to the floor. It was the longest five minutes of her life before she heard a "Sorry for the intrusion." She stood up to meet them. As soon as she locked eyes with her good friend, she got pulled into a hug. "I'm so sorry, Umi."

"How... how is he?" The younger Yamaguchi asked. His voice cracked. 

"Asleep," she responded. "Broken."

"He seemed fine when he left (L/N)'s house."

"I found him not long after we got home. He didn't talk much on the way back, and it felt like he wasn't there. I thought he was just worn out from being sick and hanging out with all of you. I didn't... I didn't think that he was back in that dark place." The tears started all over again. Yamaguchi-san kept hugging tight. "I didn't think he would break again. He wanted to kill himself again. He told me not to stop him."

"Tsukishima-san, I'm going to go check on him." The green-haired boy brushed past her and went back to his best friend's bedroom.

"Umi, how are you feeling?" Yamaguchi-san asked.

"Terrible," she said. "I should have seen this. I was sitting next to him, and I couldn't see it. What kind of mother does that? And I can't even stay with him tomorrow. Akiteru's at college, and they aren't on good terms. You were the only person I could turn to."

"I have to work, but I call the school and let Tadashi stay here. Do you need me here, too, for the night?"

"No. I'll be fine, I believe. Thank you, Sara."

"It's nothing, Umi. You need us right now, and we are here. That's what matters."


	13. Foreboding

The cuts hurt like hell. That was the first thing Tsukishima noticed when he awoke the next morning. The second thing was that he was in his bed, bandaged up. Now, he figured his mom had treated him, but he knew she couldn't carry him. So, how was he in his bed?

The last thing he noticed was Yamaguchi curled up in a ball next to a bloody futon. A blanket covered the other boy, but he seemed distraught. He could still be cold. 

His phone was plugged in and on his nightstand. Next to it was Yamaguchi's. His screen had a couple of texts from the team wondering where he was at. The time was 8:25. The texts were from over an hour ago.

Since it was 8:25, his mom had already headed for work. It was quiet. He could help but focus on the pain. The sharp needles seemed to pierce his skin. The ache throbbed. Even if he wanted to, he didn't think he could walk. Perhaps he had grazed an artery or vein. It was most likely all the muscle he tore through, though. The muscle that had built up over the years of volleyball and since his second year in middle school. All that work seemed gone. All that because of one damn song. 

He wanted to cry again, just thinking about it. Tsukishima Kei was fine. But, one little thing had the key to break the lock on all his pain. He knew bottling everything up was unhealthy, and he tried his best to talk to his mom or Yamaguchi when he had unwanted thoughts. But, no one was there at that moment; no one who knew and could help him. He didn't want to have to burden (Y/N). She didn't have to get missed up in his drama and shitty life. 

Tsukishima rolled slowly, as to not irritate his wounds, to place his face into the pillow. He was wide awake but couldn't do anything until Yamaguchi was awake. He could go on his phone. There was always the risk of triggering something again, though. 

Luckily, he didn't get too lost in his thoughts because Yamaguchi groaned. The blond boy turned to meet the others' eyes. The brown eyes widened in realization. The younger one scrambled from the futon to sit on the side of the older one's bed.

"Kei," Yamaguchi said, not caring that he said Tsukishima's first name. Tsukishima averted his gaze and looked down at the floor.

"Yamaguchi, I..." he started before he got cut off.

"No. Today, we go back to calling each other by our first names. I know that ever since we could over this last time, we stopped at your request. But, until we get back to that, listen to mine."

Tsukishima sighed. "Tadashi, I'm... I'm sorry. You shouldn't be here."

"Why is that?"

"You should be at school, with the team, working on your float serve, becoming the best player you can be. Instead, you're stuck here because of me."

"Stop it. I'm here because I chose to. I am not obliged to, but I care for you."

"Why? Even I don't think I'm worth it." A lone tear fell from his eyes. Turning to his best friend, more joined it. Tsukishima sat up to face him. "How can you act like I deserving of this? I've tried to kill myself before. I might have almost done it again last night if my mom hadn't been there to pull me out. So tell me, Tadashi, is someone that might vanish at any given minute worthy? She's gone because of me! She's fucking gone, and it is all my fault! I should be dead!"

"Dammit, Kei, it's not your fault!" Yamaguchi clenched the front of Tsukishima's shirt; tears threatened to fall. "What can I do to show you that? You saved me. I would be still be all alone if not for you. You almost left me. Maybe it is selfish, but if I don't help you, you'll vanish. And, I know that I wouldn't be able to live like that. Not after all these years. So, please let me help you."

"There's nothing that can be fixed, though. I'm just a broken doll. I've never been fine. My sanity is barely holding itself together."

Yamaguchi's hand fell beside his best friend's. "Please, Kei."

He shook his head and looked down. "I don't deserve you, Tadashi. I don't deserve to have a caring team. I don't deserve to like (L/N). Everyone would leave if they knew what I've done."

"We haven't left you."

Tsukishima's fingers bumped against Yamaguchi's. "But you were there when and before it happened. You knew the old me. He isn't coming back."

"He doesn't have to. People change and move on. That's life. We have to make the best of it."

"How can I even make the best of it?" His long fingers subconsciously intertwined with Yamaguchi's. "I thought I was. I was fine, and then, the next I'm not. At (L/N)'s house, I was blinded by my own thoughts. My body moved on its own. It tried to find the razors. I needed to find the razors."

"There's no need to be scared." Yamaguchi held Tsukishima's hand tighter. "We're all here for you. I know what you need. Some food."

The blond laughed weakly. "I guess that would help."

"The crutches are still in the hall closet?"

"Yes." 

"One sec." Yamaguchi let go and left the room. The remaining boy wiped his eyes. Then, he reached over and grabbed a tissue from the box on the nightstand—something that was provided last night courtesy of Yamaguchi. 

Tsukishima didn't like to admit, but it was times like this where he was really thankful for his best friend. Sure, on the outside, they aren't the most talkative of friends. He was relatively straightforward to the point, and Yamaguchi just enjoyed the company. The first time around was really when he saw Yamaguchi as someone to rely on. Before, he was just some kid that he didn't mind hanging out with. At some point, he became the only one outside his family that he trusted—well, besides her.

Yamaguchi walked into the room. The crutches were held like wings by both arms.He smiled, hoping to cheer Tsukishima up."I remember when I first held these, I ran around the house, and Akiteru-niisan had to catch me." 

Tsukishima smiled softly."It took a whole five minutes."His smile faded."That was the day I got home from the hospital."His hand traced his lower abdomen.

"Akiteru-niisan was so exhausted.Anyway, let's get you to the kitchen."Yamaguchi handed him the crutches.Tsukishima hit them against the floor and pushed upon them.He fell forward a bit.Yamaguchi caught him.He placed his right foot that didn't hurt as much down.

The two headed to the kitchen.There, Yamaguchi raided the cabinets for ingredients.If his appetite was anything like last time, he figured rice would be enough.After all, Tsukishima wouldn't eat much. 

Yamaguchi grabbed the raw rice as Tsukishima sat down in a kitchen chair."Hope rice is okay," the green-haired boy said.Tsukishima nodded in response.He went silent and fell into the abyss of his thoughts. 

The younger of the two frowned.He knew his best friend probably wasn't paying attention to him at this point.Tsukishima would be lost in his own mind.Yamaguchi was used to it, but after the events of last night, he was worried.One thought could lead to self-defamation.Their typical comfortable silence wouldn't be the same anymore.He needed to distract the blond in some way.

From Tsukishima was sitting, he could see into the living room and see the TV.Yamaguchi went over and flipped through the channels.Funnily enough, there was a dinosaur documentary.That would be enough to grab the blond's attention.

He smiled as he saw the other one looking towards the TV.Yamaguchi continued making rice.But, rice wasn't the only thing on his mind.

Yamaguchi swore at that moment that same promise he made two years ago.He wouldn't leave Tsukishima's side while he was hurting and in his lowest place.He would get him past the point of healing.He did it once; he could do it again.

Sighing, he stopped the rice cooker and looked at the broken boy.

This was going to be a long day.

~*~*~*~

'This was going to be a long day,' (Y/N) thought to herself as she slumped down onto her desk.Not only was she still slightly sick—she had to beg her mom to let her come—but all she could think about was the letter. Whoever wrote it meant business, and she still didn't know who the culprit was.Not a single clue.

Better yet, the boy in question wasn't even there!Her dumbass self should have predicted this.After all, here she was, still sick, and he caught it after her.'Sometimes,' (Y/N) sighed in her head, 'I should actually think things through.'

Her presence there at least put a speed bump to the rumors.The girls in the class were antsy.Of course, there was the exception of the shyer girls and Himura.They looked anxious because of the commotion.

The weirdest thing, though, was that Yamaguchi was absent.Tsukishima called in sick, but Yamaguchi was out for family reasons.Anything could have happened.It just seemed too suspicious.She didn't even get a text from him like usual when he's absent.

Something was up, but digging her head in would only mean more trouble.And that was the last thing she needed.

Himura still was upset.(Y/N) didn't blame her, though.She would hate it, too, if her best friend were paired with her crush.

"Hey, (L/N)!" The (H/C)-haired girl lifted her head and met the orange eyes of one of the most flamboyant girls in the class.Her long white hair fell to her waist. Her name was Sato Mizuki. She was the class gossip. At the beginning of the year, (Y/N) almost thought she was an info dealer. She seemed to know everything. Well, almost everything. (Y/N) kept her secrets under lock and key.

It was no secret, though, that Sato had a thing for the tall blond. Not that she was forward about it. It would be subtle things that actually seemed out of character, like asking a simple question about an assignment (which Yamaguchi forced him to answer) and thanking him with a drink that she somehow found out was one of his favorites. She wouldn't stay, and it wouldn't be often. It seemed she knew to be careful of not becoming an annoyance. 

She did her research well. 

"Hey, Sato," (Y/N) hesitated. "What's up?"

"Oh, just wanted to see how you're feeling," she said, sitting down at the desk next to her. "That was a pretty nasty fall you took. Did you hit anything?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Yeah, good thing Tsukishima-kun was there. If not, we would have had to drag your ass to the nurse. That would just be too much work. He really saved the day."

"I guess? Anyone could have..."

Sato smiled, slyly, and shook her pointer finger. "You really think everyone is under your spell, whore? News flash, we're not. You might have the staff, Tsukishima-kun, and Yamaguchi-kun, but everyone else can see how fake you are."

"That's a lie, so why should I care about what you think? I'm just trying to live my life here. Unlike you, Tsukishima was being a normal human being and helped someone in need. And, in case you didn't know, that's what people do. Get your mind out of the damn gutter." (Y/N) slammed her hands on her desk. The whole class looked over. Some girls scoffed. Some guys ignored it. Himura scowled and turned away. Naoe was out of the classroom and was unable to help her out.

They saw how upset she was, but they did nothing. Just about everyone was against her.

She was alone.


	14. Blame

Tsukishima and Yamaguchi ended not coming back for the rest of that week and the next.On Friday of that week, (Y/N) got a vague text about someone in Yamaguchi's family being in the hospital.She didn't pry, though.She only sent a small text of her condolences.There was nothing from Tsukishima, but that was a regular occurrence.(Y/N) knew that if he didn't have to speak or it wasn't to insult someone, his mouth—or in this case, hands— would be silent.

Then, the next week followed with no sign of them.Tsukishima's excuse changed to family reasons.The teachers never asked about them.No homework was asked to be brought to them.Yamaguchi-san had been picking it up for both of them.The two had vanished from the student's point of view. 

The school, however, was told.When Tsukishima had first enrolled in Karasuno, his mom made sure that his attempted suicide stayed quiet and only between the principal, vice-principal, and homeroom teacher.She assured them that it was in the past.But, now, they told a very abbreviated version to his other teachers.That way, no one had a problem with excusing both of them from school until further notice.They were both excellent students.The teachers figured they could teach themselves the lessons. 

Then, there was the club.Takeda-sensei was also told the short version, despite not having Tsukishima or Yamaguchi in the class.When he told the team that he didn't know when they were coming back, almost everyone threw a fit.They had just seen them last week, and now, they were gone.Daichi and Suga tried to make the best of it, but everyone knew that the team would lag behind without their best blocker and their upcoming pitch server.Interhigh prelims were soon.They needed all the practice they could get. 

Hinata and Kageyama were ready to march to Tsukishima's house and knock some sense into him.Coach Ukai stopped them and yelled at them.They couldn't just leave practice.

That was pretty much the end of that.There was a daily comment about it but nothing else.

As for (Y/N), she didn't speak unless called upon by her teacher.Most of the time, she would sneak out of the classroom when she could.Lunch was spent mainly on the roof.Breaks were in the bathroom.She couldn't bear to look at anyone's face.All they were full of was spite and disappointment.Even Himura couldn't glance in her direction. 

It was like they blamed the disappearance on her.Everything was made out to be her fault.

Sure, she spread the sickness to him, but she couldn't exactly stop microorganisms from spreading.Then, he was better.Anything in their families was outside her reach.Yet, they dared to accuse her.

(Y/N) wanted to yell at them.She wanted to scream and deny every allegation.But she couldn't.There was the fear of them looking at her like a drama queen, Himura admitting that she was not the same person she became friends with, her teachers pitying her more than they already do.Lastly, she could not get the image of Tsukishima walking away from her out of her mind for some reason.She told herself that they were just friends.She didn't have any romantic feelings, but there was a spark that day they spent sick together.Like a flare in the night sky, it brightened the way.There was hope that day.But, just as quickly as the light comes, it fades.The spark seemed more imaginary the long Tsukishima stayed away.

She convinced herself that she was just confused.The feelings that bloomed that day weren't real. 

But, what was the point if Himura didn't even stay by her?Did it matter if she stayed clear of Tsukishima?Her best friend had already seemingly abandoned her. 

Did anything matter at this point as her clock kept ticking on?

~*~*~*~

"Kei, do you really want to go back?We can wait another week.The school will understand."

"I'm well enough to head back, Okaasan," the blond quietly replied.He secretly was doubting the same thing."If I wait much longer, it's just going to become a mess.People are going to make a big deal about it already.I'll have Tadashi."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

I'm not okay."I'm fine."

His mom sighed and hugged him."Please, if you aren't ready or can't continue, call or text me.I'll come straight away."

"But work..."

"Work is important, but you are more so.I would drop everything for you.Even if I'm halfway across the world."She pulled back."Plus, if I have to, I can ask one of your teachers.They'll work with us."She stood on her tiptoes and ruffled his hair.He frowned but soon followed it up with a light chuckle."Do you have everything?I made sure to pack all your favorites in your lunch."

"Yes, I have everything.Geez, you act like this is the first day of school or something."

"Oh, look, the sarcastic Kei is back.Seriously, do you have everything?Tadashi is going to be here any minute to walk with you, and I will not make him wait on you."

"Yes, Okaasan."

"Good."There was a knock on the door, and Tsukishima grabbed his school bag.He sent a glance at the crutches standing up in the corner."I love you, Kei.Remember, I'm only a call away.Be careful with your bandages."She kissed his cheek."I see you later."

"See you later."He moved towards the door and opened it to his green-haired friend. 

Yamaguchi smiled and placed a hand behind his head."Good morning, Kei."

"Morning.You know you aren't going to call me Kei at school, Yamaguchi."

"Man, here I thought I would be able to continue to do it.But, it's whatever you want, Tsukki."

Tsukishima nodded but kept silent.He didn't feel like talking.But, if he didn't speak to his mom, he really would not have been let out of the house.He hoped that this was enough to satisfy Yamaguchi. 

The two were heading out a little earlier than usual.They wanted to catch Takeda-sensei before practice.Tsukishima still was in pain from his legs.It hurt to even walk.He couldn't even imagine what playing would feel like.With the prelims so close, he didn't know if he would even be able to play. 

The Wednesday before, he had an appointment with his psychiatrist.His mom had made it almost immediately after the events that conspired.He was told that he wasn't allowed to practice—the psychiatrist didn't have to be a specialist to see that.Tsukishima had to make an appointment the following week for an actual doctor for him to be cleared.

So, Tsukishima was stuck like this for the time being.He knew everyone was going to wonder what happened.Though it wasn't ideal, he'd rather have that than them showing up to his house uninvited.

After the fifteen-minute walk, all he wanted to do was sit down.Too bad the other first years had decided to make an appearance. 

The fact that the two were still outside told Tsukishima and Yamaguchi that they came too early.

"Ah!Look!Kageyama!" Hinata squealed, pointing furiously at them."Yamaguchi and Tsukishima are back!"

"So, you two finally decided to join us?Damn time," Kageyama said.Hinata, then, ran up and jumped up and down.Tsukishima clicked his tongue, per usual.It was hard putting up the act, though.Even a simple thing like that felt wrong.What if his insults actually hurt someone?He looked down and hoped no one noticed. 

Yamaguchi did, though."Sorry about that, guys," he said, drawing attention to him."Someone in my family got sick, and we brought Tsukki with us to Morioka."

"That's so sad!I'm so sorry, Yamaguchi!" Hinata yelled.

"It's not your fault, Hinata."

"Still... Hey, I know what will make you feel better!Volleyball!"

Kageyama smacked the backside of Hinata's head."Dumbass!" he insulted."Daichi's not even here with the key, yet."

"Yeah, but he will, Bakayama!"

"Don't go offering to do something if you can't even do it!"

"But Kageyama!I know we'll be practicing soon!"

Two argued as Tsukishima, who still hadn't said a word, faded into the background.Those two were idiots and couldn't even catch that he was quiet and uncharacteristically submissive.If only the whole team was like that.

Sure, Tanaka and Nishinoya fell into that category.But, Sugawara was that person that would notice.Asahi was caring.Daichi would whoop his ass if he kept secrets that were hurting the team.The other second-years were just as perceptive.Hell, if Kageyama wasn't so wrapped around Hinata's finger, he probably would have noticed.

Tsukishima most definitely was not going to make it through practice without a comment or two.

A menacing aura emerged as the two stopped bickering."Do you two really have to argue over every little thing at 6:30 am?" Daichi complained.He inserted the key and turned it."Stop fighting and go practice.Make sure you two stretch first.If you get a damn injury before prelims, it won't be pretty.I'll make sure of that."Yamaguchi laughed awkwardly at that.

"Hai!" they both cried and dashed into the gym.

Their captain sighed and turned to the other two."What's up, you two?You are never here this early with them.Plus, your sudden disappearance."Narrowing his eyes, he crossed his arms and glanced between the two.His gaze lingered on the tall blond.

"My relative got sick, and Tsukki came when we were visiting them," Yamaguchi quickly lied.

Tsukishima then spoke for the first time since getting to school, "Seriously, Yamaguchi practically begged me to come along."He mentally regretted that line.

His best friend blushed."I did not..."

"That's how I remember it."

Yamaguchi laughed it off—honestly, that left Daichi even more confused."Sorry for missing a week and a half, Daichi-san."

The third-year looked again at Tsukishima, who avoided eye contact.If there was a list of all the things he usually did, eye contact was definitely one of them.Shy people hated it.It just made them easier to tease.

That was sign #1.

Sign #2 was the apparent lack of banter.Tsukishima definitely was not feeling up to that.Though teasing used to be like his drug, now he could only think of the pain he was inflicting—pain like he inflicted on her.

That messed up his head.

"Come on, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi," Daichi said, warily."You've got to make up for missing practice."

"Um, Daichi-san, Tsukki can't play.He sprained his ankle when we were out of town," Yamaguchi lied again.

"Are you shitting me?Seriously, we need you to play.I doubt we could make it far without your height and blocking.Then, you have to go and pull this."

"Sorry, Daichi."

Sign #3: Tsukishima never apologized.Never in a million years would Tsukishima bow his head and be sincere about it.

Tsukishima knew Daichi knew something was up.It seemed like a miracle that he hadn't been interrogated yet for it.Perhaps, it was his lucky day. 

He went to sit on the bench as their captain took Yamaguchi to work on his receives.Anxiously, he waited for Takeda-sensei.The freak duo was too caught up in themselves to notice him.That was a relief.

When the teacher entered the gym, his eyes widened at the sight of the blond.As not to make a scene, he quickly made his way to him."Do you want to go to the teacher's office to talk about it?" Takeda-sensei asked under his breath.When Tsukishima gave no affirmation, he added, "There's barely anyone there at this time.it will be just us two."The first-year nodded and stood.The teacher took note of the difficulty of the action.

Again, the captain tried to figure him out as he left the gym.Daichi might ask Yamaguchi, but he could cover for Tsukishima.

Tsukishima just hoped they wouldn't dig too much.He didn't deserve their pity and worries.


	15. Broken Trust

(Y/N) had half-expected never to see her two guy friends again.It felt like an eternity, despite it only being two weeks. 

Surprisingly, she didn't mind the quiet.Sure, it hurt seeing people whisper as she walked by.It hurt seeing Himura talk to someone that wasn't her.It hurt when the teachers noticed and asked her about it.

But, little by little, that pain became lesser and lesser.

When the boys came back, it was like a tsunami.The rumors about why they were gone came back in full swing.Her thoughts about her feelings for Tsukishima came with them.

Speaking of the blond, he was different, sadder.Yamaguchi said they were visiting a sick relative of his, but it was like his best friend was the one grieving.

Even if he wasn't close to the relative, he would still mourn.Like if it was announced that they have cancer and only a 40% chance of surviving.Hell, anyone would grieve.But, here was Yamaguchi smiling sheepishly as always.

Again, she knew something was up, and again, she wouldn't pry.

There was a fire, a burning desire to tell them.For the first time since it started, (Y/N) felt like sharing her burden.She felt that the longer this went on, the greater the distance she would have to travel to make amends.It seemed almost pointless to hold it.But, at the same time, she didn't know if it would really matter.

The bell chimed for lunch, and the class waited for their modern literature teacher to leave the classroom.(Y/N) watched as Himura left the classroom alone.She really wanted to talk to her.The terror of rejecting her was almost too much, though.Still, the (E/C)-eyed girl straightened her uniform and followed her out of the room.

Himura went through the halls and ended up on one of the benches in the courtyard.It was relatively secluded—most of the other students who filtered in went to the other side's picnic tables.

(Y/N)'s head pounded.It felt like her chest was constricted.Her legs were about to give out.Covering her cough, she leaned against the wall.Some broken-up mucus found its way into her elbow.

The black-haired girl noticed her.A wave of shock went over Himura's face.She stood to leave, but (Y/N) caught her hand.The taller scoffed and couldn't meet the other one's eyes."Please, don't go, Yoru," (Y/N) pleaded.Himura, rolling her eyes, sat down again.

It was exactly what (Y/N) was dreading.Himura seemed so disgusted by her.She actually listened to the rumors.She wasn't standing by her side anymore.

"Talk (L/N).I'd rather not waste all of my lunch with this," Himura snapped, pulling her hand away.There was a pang in (Y/N) at the use of her last name. 

"Why won't you talk to me?Please don't tell me you believe the rumors."(Y/N) grabbed her hand again."You should know they're not true."

"Really? It would have been nice to know that a week ago."

"I thought you were still upset with me."

"I am still upset with you!"Himura looked the other girl dead in the eye.Her pupils almost seemed feral.She grabbed her wrist to stop herself from lashing out."I would have thought my best friend would have come to me if something was upsetting her.You know I like my space, but the second something or someone starts screwing with you, I would gladly drop everything to help you.I wouldn't let you bottle it up inside if you came to me."

"But, I thought..."

"It doesn't matter.You know full well what you did.He doesn't factor into this right now.This is between us.I didn't talk to you because you didn't talk to me. An eye for an eye, right?"

"No, that's not right."

"Perhaps, I'm like Juliet.I'm too caught up in my emotions, but there's one thing that separates us.I don't die for love.I fight for love. Not just romantic love as well. We may have stopped talking because you didn't feel like confiding in me.But, it was going to happen sooner or later."

(Y/N) had a tear roll down her cheek.Her second fear was realized.Himura was mad at her and would stay mad because of Tsukishima's and her own feelings.She knew that it would come, but it hurt more in actuality. 

"Please, Yoru, we don't have to fight over such a petty thing," (Y/N) begged.Her face fell into her hands as she cried.Hiccups and sobs came through them."Please, I don't want to go on anymore without you."

A drop came from Himura's eye."You know they told me that it wouldn't be long before you came crawling back.They called you such nasty things.I even started to believe it.After all, it never did make sense why all the rules seemed to be broken just for you.Like all the times Coach Takenaka let you sit out.Or when you thought you were sneaky, but you talked to our teachers and got more time on something.Lastly, the teachers don't usually give a damn about our mental health, but they always ask if you're okay.

"You say you don't want to go on without me, but how can I do that if you're hiding so much from me?You always have.Weren't we best friends?Why did you feel like you had to keep so much to yourself?That's why I don't know if I can believe you or not."

"I can explain.There is a very good reason for all of that."

"Where was that reason when it all started at the beginning of the school year?"

"It was there, and I'm sorry I didn't tell.I was scared."

"So, you're not scared now that it's come back to bite you?"

"I still scared!"

"I can't listen to it anymore.Any semblance of peace has vanished from my lunch."Himura stood and walked away.That was it.There was no going back for (Y/N).She lost her best friend, her sense of happiness at school, her peace of mind, and the chance of making new friends. Her reputation would precede her. A big fat X would be splayed across her back. Like when they were little kids, she had cooties. No one would go near her unless they wanted to make fun of her. 

Again, (Y/N) felt truly alone, but that's all she felt for a while. 

To say she was used to it would be an understatement. It was instead a feeling that she hadn't felt in a long time. When she entered a middle school far from her elementary school, she thought she put the feeling past her. No one knew her secrets. She tried to act lively and make friends. Second-year, she met Himura. They were joyous years, but they seemed so far. The familiar pang of loneliness was too much. 

If she's just going to die, why not do it sooner?

~*~*~*~

The olive-haired first year peaked his head into the club room. He thought he would see both Hinata and Kageyama, but only the orange-haired one was there. Practice had been pushed back half an hour because the third-years volunteered to help put up boxes for a teacher. The second-years must have run off, and we're hanging out somewhere else. Tsukishima has claimed he wanted alone time, and Yamaguchi had left it at that. After all, that was what the blond wanted. Yamaguchi had to respect his wishes.

Hinata was taking off his uniform and changing into his practice clothes. It was eerily quiet. This was Hinata, the literal ball of sunshine. For him to not be bouncing around seemed strange. 

"Hey, Hinata," Yamaguchi greeted. He closed the door behind him.

"Gah!" The boy jumped around and held his shirt to his bare chest. "Oh my gosh, I think you gave me a heart attack, Yamaguchi! It stopped going whuah and gwuah!"

"Sorry, I didn't think I would scare you." The green-haired boy made his way over the oldest first-year, who seemed to be recovering from the shock. 

"It's fine. Where's the meanie Stingyshima?"

"Alone. He'll come later. Can't really practice with his injury, so he decided he'd rather avoid the gym as long as possible."

"Of course, he would. He's so rude! He's so tall, yet he can't even play. If I had his height, I would keep playing even if I was injured."

"I'm pretty sure he would say you would be the only one who would do that."

Hinata pouted. "He would, wouldn't he? I hate him, sometimes. Even when he was gone, I heard his name too much."

Yamaguchi froze. "What? Why did you hear his name?"

"I don't know; I'd rather not listen to them talk about him. Though, I did hear (L/N)-chan's name in their conversations. Something about... I don't remember..." Hinata sighed and put on his shirt. "I'm going to the gym. Kageyama said he was meeting me there." The human bottle of energy jumped and went out of the door.

Yamaguchi said down on the metal bench. People were talking. Was that why (Y/N) made no effort to talk to them today? She downright ignored them at times. Someone must have told her something. In all honesty, Yamaguchi couldn't figure out what was bad enough to earn that reaction. Karasuno was far away from their middle school. No one they knew from before went there. Could someone have overheard something the teachers said? Still, he didn't think that she would stay away from that. 

He put on his practice gear while thinking. Nothing seemed to make sense. But, he felt that if he talked to someone about it, they would lie about it. After all, he could tell Tsukishima about it.

Walking out of the club room, he saw the one person of his thoughts. (Y/N) stood with her back against a tree in the secluded spot. Her hair stuck to the tree bark, and her hands pressed flush against it. She was crying. Choked sobs left out of her throat. She contracted forward and grabbed her chest. It was like she had trouble breathing. With her sobs came coughs. 

Yamaguchi ran to her. He didn't really think of anything else he could do. Did he know if he could comfort her? No. Did he have any clue why she was crying? Absolutely none. But, he knew that if she was hurting, Tsukishima would be hurting. He actually figured that his walk alone was because (Y/N) didn't try to talk to him. 

"(L/N)-chan," Yamaguchi softly said. He rushed over and placed a hand on her back. Her dilated pupils filled with tears looked at him. She looked so lost. This wasn't the girl who was joking around with him and Tsukishima two weeks back. 

"Yama..." she coughed again. Her voice was hoarse. 

"Shh, it's okay. You don't have to talk." She looked away. The way he could feel her lungs shudder against his hand with every breath was almost frightening. He couldn't tell if it was from the crying or it was just from the lingering sickness two weeks ago. 

Weirdly, it hit him, then. This was the girl Tsukishima liked, but she seemed just as broken as him. Could Tsukishima even go through a relationship like that? Would it be good for either of them? Would it just break them further?

One thing felt wrong, though. He knew he shouldn't be the one comforting her. Sure, they were friends, but they still weren't as close as her and Tsukishima or her and Himura. 

But, there was no one else that could comfort her. There was no other option.


	16. Caught

"Okaasan, do I really have to go today?"

"(Y/N), are you feeling okay?"

"For the most part, but it's so boring," (Y/N) lied.The truth of the matter was that she was fed up with everyone at school.After her talk with Himura, the thought of orchestrating her own death never really left her head. Each class was a new battlefield. Each break was a new opportunity. Each thought was a new weapon. Her head almost seemed to hurt from all of it. 

She wanted to live a normal life. She didn't want to kill herself.Her mind was at war with itself.She desired the freedom but knew it came at a cost.The chains that held her down were heavy, and she wished for nothing but to shed them.Was that too much to ask?Did her happiness have to come at the cost of her life?

(Y/N) kept telling herself it didn't.But, the voices, outside and inside, told her differently.They were so loud, deafening.No one could stay sane under that pressure. 

She had to try.

"Nevermind that, Okaasan," (Y/N) said.She threw her school bag over her shoulder and made her way to the door."I'm just tired.I'll be fine."

"You don't have to force yourself," her mom said, crossing her arms."(Y/N), if you aren't feeling well, stay home.I know you don't want to resort to that."

"I'm fine.I'm not going to die yet."

"If I get a call from Emica-chan, I told you so."

(Y/N) rolled her eyes and opened the door."I promise to be home as fast as I can after school.After all, I don't want to worry you."

~*~*~*~

When he left his house later than usual because he didn't feel like sitting in practice like an invalid, he definitely did not expect to run into (Y/N).He knew she lived in the same general direction as him, but this was the first time they met on their morning walk.

To keep it simple, it was awkward.Neither of them really wanted to talk to the other.(Y/N) for the reasoning that she wanted to stop the rumors.Tsukishima for the reason of his own self-doubt and hate.Don't get him wrong.He would have loved to walk with her.But, there was this nagging feeling of dread.He credited to his dark thoughts; there was something about it, though.The look in her eyes mirrored his own.Not just his eyes right then, but those of two years.The days he looked off the cliff into the dark.The abyss called him, then. 

Just thinking about it sent shivers up his spine.That was not a good place.He would do anything not to go there, no matter how great the temptation.

These two weeks away from (Y/N) hadn't stopped Tsukishima's crush.It bothered him how much he felt like he needed to be around her.He didn't want to feel this way.Emotions for others would just be a burden to them.No one needed him in their lives.He wasn't necessary to make their lives better.All he would have done is brought misery and pain.Living life like how he was, not knowing if he would have the strength to live the next day, was agony.Only the worst of the worst should have to live like that.He definitely put himself in that category. 

(Y/N) was like a sassy ball of sunshine.She made his days brighter.But, now, she was eclipsed by the moon.Her light had dimmed.He feared it was because of him.

They walked the rest of the way to school in dead silence.Only the scuff of their feet against the ground and the humming of cars seemed to fill the air.It was downright suffocating. 

Tsukishima wasn't a talker these days, but even then, the other person would talk to him.Whether it was Yamaguchi or his mom, someone was there to make him feel not alone.With (Y/N) lost in her thoughts, she walked as if she were a zombie.There wasn't even the attempt of small talk. 

They separated as soon as they got into the shoe locker room.Tsukishima noticed the faint whispers.(Y/N) seemed to flinch at them, but at this point, he didn't care that much.If she was hurting, he wouldn't allow himself to hurt her more.

She was the last person he would allow that to happen to.

~*~*~*~

Lunchtime rolled around, and the blond noticed (Y/N) bolted out of the room.It was usual for people to leave the classroom, but the way she left in a hurry told him that she really didn't want to be there. 

Neither did he.

So, he followed her lead and left the classroom.The hallways weren't that filled, but a decent amount of first years roamed them.Tsukishima followed wherever his feet took him.He found himself outside the school, around back.There wasn't much back there.A stray bench and dumpster were all that was there.It was perfect, or so he thought.

He nearly turned right around when he heard them.Dealing with some idiots was not on his agenda that day or any day.But, he heard her voice.

"Please... just leave me alone... I promise I'll stay out of everything."

It was most definitely (Y/N)'s voice.Creeping around the dumpster, he saw three girls cornering the (H/C)-haired girl. 

"Seriously, bitch?You think begging will save you now?That might work on other people, but not on us," the girl in the middle spoke.It seemed she was the leader.He recognized her, Sato Mizuki.One of the girls that made it their pastime to annoy him.The other two were from other classes. 

"Yeah!" one of the minions said."We ought to beat you up for your quote-unquote slip-up earlier."

"That really was pathetic.You two looked so sad.Still, you chose to go against what we said.I would have thought for sure that all the rumors and insults would have caused you to submit to the proper order of this school, but wasn't I wrong?"

Tsukishima couldn't take it.His hands were shaking violently.They wanted to knock the living daylights out of the girls.How dare they manipulate (Y/N).Even he swore to stay out of her life, this was just unacceptable.No one controlled her life. 

Stepping out, he snarled, "Shut the fuck up, you fucking bitch."(Y/N) froze in shock as the other three girls turned to face Tsukishima.

"Tsukishima-kun..." Sato gasped."What are you..."

"I going to put you in your place.Lowly scum like you don't deserve to roam the earth.How dare you just use people to get what you want?I never liked you, Sato Mizuki, and I certainly won't start now.I suggest you run before I beat the shit out of you."

"Why, Tsukishima-kun?!All this whore has done is lied.You really would choose someone who would just use you rather than someone that actually cares for your wellbeing."She stepped closer to him.Tears welled in her eyes."You dick!You might have looks, but your personality is as shitty as a playboy's.I guess it's just perfect for some cocksleeve like her.I bet she sure enjoys it." 

A hard fist hit Sato right across the face.The other two bullies ran, deserting their leader.Sato cupped her wound and stared scared at Tsukishima.There was no signature smirk or sadistic action.He held the fist he threw and drew closer.She stumbled backward and nearly tripped.Her back hit the cold wall of the building.

(Y/N) was shaking on the side.Tsukishima paid no mind to her, though.He had to get out his frustration and anger.As he pulled his fist back again, Sato protected her face.It hit the center of her forearms, knocking her back.The back of her skull hit the plaster of the school and bled onto it.Her eyes rained due to the shock.

"Please stop!Tsukishima-kun, please!" she begged."I promise not to mess with you or (L/N), again."

"Why should I listen to you if you didn't listen to (Y/N)?" he snapped back."An eye for an eye seems fair."He decked her, again, and knocked her out.(Y/N) stepped back as he turned to her.They stared at each other for a while before Tsukishima took a stride forward.She ran into the building.

That was it.He was done hiding.Those girls, and most likely more, had made her afraid of him.She was made out to be alone by them.The unpleasant feeling from that morning came back.He could feel how she felt. 

He had to stop her. 

Like a sprinter in the Olympics, he dashed into the school.The bell, then, rang for the end of lunch, and all the students were making their way to prepare for their next class.He couldn't see her (H/C) hair anywhere.There was too much commotion.It felt like sardines in a can.The air was hot, and everyone brushed past each other. 

Pushing his way through, he went the opposite way of Class 1-4.People scoffed or told him off, but he didn't care.A teacher or two even yelled at him.Soon enough, the whole hallway was looking at him and clearing the way. 

He was heading in the direction of the lower classes.He could have sworn his tangerine haired teammate and genius setter.They seemed surprised. 

All he cared about, though, was finding (Y/N).

Tsukishima figured there was only a couple of places she could be.One, she could have just went home.He didn't think that would be the case, but it was a possibility.Secondly, there was the roof.Lastly, there were the clubrooms that would be abandoned at this time. 

He decided his best bet was the roof.The stairs came upon his left, and he swerved onto it.He skipped a step or two.The second and third years stared like their underclassmen. 

The door to the roof had a sign on it, saying that it was only open to third years for lunch.Since lunch was over, it should have been empty. 

But, when he opened the door, there was (Y/N) standing by the waist-high fence.


	17. Abyss (Part 1 Finale)

"(Y/N), I..."

"Why did you do any of that? Why did you fight Sato?"

He fell back against the now-closed door in shock. The pain in his legs caught up to him, and it hurt like hell. Catching himself, he moved towards the girl. Her hands were behind her and clasped on tight to the rail. She looked as if she could collapse at any second.

Tsukishima gazed into her hurting eyes. "I fought her because she was going to hurt you," he said.

"I can handle myself."

"It was three against one. Seriously, you think you would be able to defend yourself? I did what I had to do." His voice creaked slightly from the lack of use.

"You didn't have to do anything! I'm not your problem. At least, not anymore."

That hurt more than his legs. Here was the one he cared about pushing him away. That's what he wanted, right? He was worthless. He didn't deserve her. Why did it attack his heart so much, then?

The two girls seemed to overlap. He began to see his ex-girlfriend over (Y/N). Her long black hair shadowed (Y/N)'s (H/C) hair. Their eyes merged. It was an ethereal sight. The similarities were too remarkable.

(Y/N) was like Rika, and he was scared of the outcome. Rika's fate was not one that ended well.

"You will always be my problem." He moved to her and grabbed her hands. The height distance was apparent as (Y/N) only came up to his chest. Tsukishima leaned over her and looked down at her. She gazed up and met his eyes. A teardrop fell on her face. "Why don't you see that I don't want to see you hurting?"

"Tsukishima..."

"I don't care what you think. Even spending two weeks away from you was too much."

She bit her lip. "Us, even being next to each other, brings only pain. Don't you hear all the rumors? Everyone has turned against me. I thought you had too. I wouldn't blame you if you did."

"Nothing they say can deter me."

"They called me your fucking sex toy, and that was the only reason you were my friend! They said all the teachers treated me differently because I allowed them to knock me up. It's so disgusting. I hate myself for not being able to deny them. If only they knew. They wouldn't treat me the same. I went through that shit once, and it was worse than this."

"None of it is true; don't listen to it!"

Angry tears streamed down her face, and she pulled her hands away from his. "Easy for you to say. They don't look at you like you're the scum of the earth. No, you're idolized by all those stupid bitches. They started it because we were close. They said it would all stop if I stayed away from you, but it didn't. How am I supposed to live with this?"

"You talk to someone about it. If you had told Yamaguchi or me, we would have been able to stop this before it could be this bad."

"But you disappeared. You vanished from school, and I didn't know if I would ever see you two again. I thought I was left all alone. Himura even left me. She decided she had enough of me hiding things. Hell, I even cried, and Yamaguchi saw me."

"What? He didn't say anything." Yamaguchi had seemed a bit unnerved at practice, but he didn't expect this.

"I asked him not to because I knew this would happen."

"You don't have to hide things from me."

"Because you can magically make this all disappear? News flash, there's a lot more going on in my life than you think. School isn't the only thing getting worse in my life."

Tsukishima grabbed her hand again. He scowled as more drops fell from his golden eyes. "You aren't the only one that has been going through hell. I left school because I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror without thinking how fucked up I was. I have visible scars from all the times I thought it would be better just to hurt myself. You aren't alone in this pain."

"I am alone. You can share my pain, but it is still mine to bear." She paused. Turning, she held both of his hands. "Tell me, have you ever wanted to kill yourself?"

If she wasn't gripping on so tightly, his hand would have rested over his lower abdomen. "Don't tell me that's what you came up here for. You can't go through with it."

"You didn't answer my question. Tell me, Tsukishima."

His throat almost felt like it would close up. "Yes, (Y/N). Two years ago, I almost succeeded. Trust me; it was the most agonizing part of my life."

"If it meant all the pain would end, would you do it again?"

"If it meant that you had to live without me, I would never."

A choked sob came from her mouth. She broke down and ran into Tsukishima's arms. Her hot tears ran down the front of her uniform. "I don't want to die. I'm so scared that one day, it will be my last, and there will be nothing I can do. So desperately, I wish to be able to just choose when I would die."

Tsukishima could feel her whole body shuddering. He, too, was shaking. Fear also seemed to dictate his life. The mere mention of suicide caused him to feel like breaking down. Even then, it took all of his strength not to run to find something sharp and drag it across his self-abused skin. He needed its relief. The distraction it brought was what he begged for. But, he couldn't abandon (Y/N) like he abandoned Rika.

He remained quiet and stroked her hair. His tears fell on her scalp. His arms tightened around her. Warmth enveloped her.

Tsukishima wasn't used to being on this side of the equation. He was always the one comforted. Whether it was by his mom or Yamaguchi, he was the one that was held. He felt like he couldn't be the one to provide comfort.

But it was calming. No one else had this effect.

"(Y/N)." She met his eyes. Both of theirs were bloodshot and puffy. "You deserve to live. I need you to live."

She gasped and pushed him away. Her hands flew to her face as he stumbled back. "You... you can't just say that!" she yelled. "I don't know how much longer I have!"

His heart dropped. "What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said. There's no guarantee that we'll live to see the next day. I know my life is shorter than everyone else's. I can't be the person you live for."

"Goddammit, (Y/N), I can't choose that! I don't choose to care for you. I love you, and I can't do anything about that. A life without you isn't worth living."

"What... You love me?"

"Always. I will always love you. So, you can't just kill yourself."

"I don't deserve it. You're only going to get your heart broken." She ran back to the fence. "Just let me do this!"

"Never!" Tsukishima ran to pull her back, but she twirled out of the way. She pushed him as hard as she could. His aching legs gave out, and he fell hard onto the floor. Inching away, she held her hand out as if she would preparing herself to push him again. Surprise had spread across her face as she stared at the boy on the ground.

"This is my choice. I am fed up with everything," she cried. "I don't want to get hurt."

He groaned as he sat up. "No one gets through scot-free. But, we can't give in to the pain."

"I'm not giving in to the pain."

Tsukishima tried to stand up. The girl prepped to attack him again if he got close. Then, his phone rang. The caller ID was Yamaguchi. He threw his phone on the ground, shattering the screen. "Tell me, do you really want to leave your parents like this? Leave Ichika? Both of them work hard to provide for your family, and Ichika deserves to spend time with her sister."

"Don't guilt me into this. Please, I've had that happen too much these past few weeks."

"I'm just trying to make you see."

"Please, just stop." (Y/N) lifted her leg over the side of the fence. It was followed by the other. There was a decent side ledge to stand on, but she still held onto the fence until her hands turned white.

Tsukishima had enough at this point. He hugged her as tight as he could. (Y/N) wiggled and tried to free herself, but it was fruitless. He was never going to let go.

"I will never stop," he whispered to the crown of her head. "You're beautiful and full of life. I'm never sure about anything, but this I am positive. You are more worthy than me. If anything, I'm the one that doesn't deserve to love you."

"You're so wrong. Just so wrong," she denied, as she melted into the hug. Tsukishima felt her ease but didn't loosen his grip at all.

Then, her legs gave out. Tsukishima was not ready for the weight change and fell forward. Over the fence, he fell.

The two dropped to the ground. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of part one of the story! I'll probably go on a short hiatus after this or the next chapter so I can write more of Part 2 and keep my consistent weekly publishing.


	18. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're so wrong. Just so wrong," she denied, as she melted into the hug. Tsukishima felt her ease but didn't loosen his grip at all.
> 
> Then, her legs gave out. Tsukishima was not ready for the weight change and fell forward. Over the fence, he fell.
> 
> The two dropped to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2: 
> 
> "And I know these scars will bleed  
> But both of our hearts believe   
> And all of these stars will guide us home."  
> -All of the Stars (Ed Sheeran)

Just about all of Karasuno heard the bloodcurdling scream. Every classroom stopped and questioned what it was. The teachers tried to stop the chaos. Most were successful, but the classrooms closest to the roof access point were unsalvageable. Like parrots in an exhibit, all the students started to speak at once. Some of the more troublemakers tried to push their way through the door. Luckily, the class reps and teachers were able to hold them back. 

In Class 1-1, it was the same situation. Hinata and Kageyama were intrigued (well, it was more like Hinata was scared and wanted to know, and Kageyama was just there for the ride). Their class, being closest to stairs, was a full menagerie. 

If the two actually had brains that worked for something other than volleyball, they might have put two and two together. After all, they did see Tsukishima running like a mad man up those stairs. But that had been a whole class period ago. Surely, he wouldn't still be up there.

They would be right. He wasn't up there.

Loud footsteps drew closer, and a girl grabbed the doorframe, panting. "I..." she started. "I saw two people... they fell from the roof. There was blood. I didn't even see if they were still alive."

"Calm down," the Japanese literature teacher said. She placed a hand on the frantic girl's shoulder. Her breath slowed down. "Now, are you the one who screamed?"

"Yes, as soon as I saw them falling. I didn't get a good look at them, but blood was starting to stain their clothes. I couldn't watch anymore."

"Hey, it's going to be okay. What class are you in?"

"3-3. I was going to bring something to one of the coaches, so I was outside. They fell into the dumpster out back."

"How about you stay here while I'll go check on them? Make sure not of these rascals leave the room for me?"

"Ok, sensei."

The teacher smiled and walked out of the classroom towards the outside. The dumpster wasn't too far as the student on duty had to take out the trash every day. Whoever fell hopefully had trash to crush their falls. Otherwise, this would be a tragedy.

~*~*~*~

Yamaguchi was officially terrified. It wasn't the fact that Tsukishima left the room for lunch. He had gotten used to that. It wasn't the fact that he left right after (Y/N). It wasn't even when they didn't return, or when Sato showed up bruised and slightly bloody—she refused to explain anything, so the teacher just gave in and continued teaching. 

It was the scream. The class was already theorizing about what happened—some of those involved the two missing students and Sato's injuries. Yamaguchi wouldn't put it past him if Tsukishima did hurt Sato. He always said how annoying he found her. 

The scream itself was one of pure terror. The kind that a witness to a brutal murder in a horror film would have. The kind of where they saw their loved ones tortured right in front of them. It wasn't the kind of someone finding someone in an indecent act as some had theorized—that made Yamaguchi want to yell, an action he doesn't particularly enjoy. 

His mind went to a dark place. The first thought was that Tsukishima had resorted to cutting and went too far. Back in middle school, he had admitted to Yamaguchi that he carried a razor in his school bag, just in case, along with bandages. Even said that he did it on occasion. What if he was lying bloody somewhere, white like a sheet? Gasping for air? Crying from the pain? So far off the deep end that no rope could bring him back?

Yamaguchi visibly shivered.

He needed to find him. He needed to know he was okay.

The green-haired boy hugged himself and tried to melt into the background. He didn't want them to hound him for his distress. His teacher saw it, though. "Yamaguchi, can you please go look for Tsukishima and (L/N)? They shouldn't be out while the teachers are trying to figure out what's happening?"

Yamaguchi felt relieved. It was a good thing that their teachers knew their situation. "Yes, Watanabe-sensei." Quickly, he left the classroom. 

He could hear the echoing chatter from the other classrooms. Ignoring it, he pressed forward. The hallways were eerily empty. Yamaguchi always did hate to walk the hallways during class. He knew people were there, but something was unsettling about it. It didn't help that he didn't know where the hell his best friend was. His self-harming and broken best friend didn't have enough control, yet, to really hold himself back if he had to. 

It reminded Yamaguchi of one of the times after Tsukishima entered his depressed phase. He had increasingly started missing classes. Yamaguchi, at the point, didn't know the extent of his grief. He knew Rika and why Tsukishima was so out of it. 

Yamaguchi didn't expect to find his best friend in an abandoned gym, crying.

The parallel was scary, but this had to be more. He just had a gut feeling. 

He passed by Class 1-1, and a voice called out to him. "Yamaguchi-kun!" His heels drug against the floor, and he looked at the small orange teammate. "What are you doing?"

The whole class's eyes were on him. Yamaguchi placed a hand on his chest in an attempt to calm his racing heart. "I... I'm looking for Tsukki and (L/N)-chan," he explained. Hesitantly, he stepped past the two students standing by the door. "They left at the beginning of lunch and never came back to the classroom. Then, all this happened. This..." Yamaguchi shut his mouth. They didn't know Tsukishima. They wouldn't understand why he was so damn scared. He looked away. 

"Hey, it's going to okay, Yama-kun! I'm sure they're fine."

"But..."

"Yama-kun, you worry too much." Hinata smiled and gave him a thumbs up. Yamaguchi wasn't convinced at all. "Tell him, Kageyama!"

"Umm... Maybe they went to the nurse?" Kageyama offered, quietly. He shifted uncomfortably as he stood beside the hyperactive Hinata. 

"They probably aren't the two people that fell from the rooftop!"

Yamaguchi froze. "What two people?" It couldn't be. It couldn't be, he told himself.

The girl that was standing by the door stepped forward. Her nervousness mirrored Yamaguchi's. "I saw two people fall when I was walking earlier. If it helps, it was a blond and someone with (H/C) hair."

His heart dropped. "Where?!" he yelled as he latched his hands on her shoulders. Yamaguchi hadn't even realized the tears welling in his eyes. "Damn it; it has to be them! I have to know!"

"The dumpster outside." As soon as she said the dumpster, he was out the door and racing outside. He felt lightheaded and couldn't focus. All he could see was red. All he could hear was his own heartbeat. 

He rounded the corner and threw open the door. 

That's when he saw the blood. The crimson sticky liquid dripped out of a crack in the dumpster. It formed an ocean on the concrete. The metallic smell filled the air. Yamaguchi wanted to throw up, and he hadn't even seen the state of his best friend and his crush. 

Most of the faculty out there were teachers he didn't know or higher in administration. The only one he really knew was the principal. One of them was on the phone with emergency services. Another two called the parents. He nearly fainted when he heard Tsukishima and (L/N) in the mix. The rest all stood around and talked in hushed whispers. It looked like the principal was trying to figure out how to tell the student population.

No one saw Yamaguchi getting closer until he was right there by the dumpster. "Hey, kid!" one of the teachers yelled. But, it was too late. Yamaguchi had looked inside.

The two bodies were latched onto each other like their lives depended on it. Tsukishima's glasses were broken beyond repair and laid to the side of them. (Y/N) was like a ragdoll on top of him. From the back of his head, blood poured. Cuts and gashes were littered across their bodies from sharp metal and broken glass, leaving their uniforms a mess with frayed threads at each cut. Bruises painted their skin. Multiple bones appeared to be broken. Tsukishima's right ankle looked the worse with a compound fracture. 

Yamaguchi wanted to pull them out of there. They didn't need to be lying in other people's trash. Their wounds needed to be treated. The longer they were in there, the more blood gushed out of them. Their breathing was faint enough as it was. 

One of the taller male teachers grabbed both of his arms and held him back. Yamaguchi struggled. "Let me go! I have to get them out of there!" he frantically said. 

"Kid, you aren't going to be able to do anything. Wait until the professionals get here," the teacher reprimanded. 

"But, they're suffering!"

"Yamaguchi," the principal said. He blocked Yamaguchi's view of them. "Please cooperate. We realize how urgent this is. We're trying to understand what happened. Trying to move them could open more wounds or agitate them. Ito-san is on her way over here. If she thinks it's a good idea, we'll go forth with it."

Yamaguchi stopped pulling and looked at the ground, ashamed of himself. "I'm sorry..."

"I understand. Don't be ashamed." The principal sighed. "I hate to ask, but... Did Tsukishima show any signs that could lead to suicide?"

"He hadn't hurt himself since two weeks ago. At least, not to my knowledge. He was becoming slightly more distanced, but not to the point that it was an issue." 

The other teachers listening in gave him sympathizing glances. Now, the thought of it being attempted double suicide spread through all of their minds.

The nurse ran to them. She gasped when she saw the pair. Crying, she turned away. Ito-san couldn't even speak. Her sobs were too loud. (Y/N) was practically her niece. 

No one spoke until the ambulance got there. Quickly, the EMTs lifted the two onto stretchers and checked their vitals on the way to the vehicle.

"Go, Yamaguchi," the principal said. "Right now, you're the closest one to both of them, and Ito-san isn't in the best of conditions to make that trip. They might need to know preexisting circumstances." The first year nodded. He politely asked the EMTs, and they, with pity, let him into the back before closing up.

~*~*~*~

Not even five minutes into the ride, they started asking Yamaguchi questions. It started with their names, age, family relations, and Yamaguchi tried to tell them to the best of his ability. Next was the conditions they had. He knew about Tsukishima's clinical depression, but he knew nothing about (Y/N)'s medical history. 

The EMTs worked to clean scraps of trash out of cuts and applied pressure to the more serious ones. The sirens overhead were deafening to Yamaguchi. The trip itself seemed like an eternity. Both of them were unresponsive. Just looking at them sent a pang of guilt through Yamaguchi. 

He felt as if he failed. Tsukishima was his best friend, and he didn't see it coming. On the off chance that it wasn't the blond's deadly thoughts that hurt him, Yamaguchi would feel better. But, this was possible. His own mother said two weeks ago that he was going to go through with it. 

Yamaguchi couldn't help but think that it was a bad idea to start school again. Tsukishima was still unstable. He let him go back into a place of deceit and judgment. 

Yamaguchi let Tsukishima go back to their current Hell.


	19. Emergency Room

Akiteru did not go back to his mother's house very much.Back in his last year of high school, his parents got a divorce.Even three years later, the argument that ended it all rang clear in his mind.His mother, Takahashi Umi at the time, accused his father of cheating on her when she was away on a flight.She said one of her friends had called her to tell her that he was with another woman.Takahashi Ken wasn't a cheater.Akiteru knew that.But, his mother couldn't get the idea out of her head that he was no longer interested in her.Her obsession was what caused his father to leave, Akiteru with him. 

That night, Akiteru listened from his room.It wasn't hard.Their arguing tended to be loud.It was never physical, rather more psychological warfare from both sides.Tension always filled the house the days that followed. 

With the recent development of his younger brother dating, Kei was out of the house lot of the time.Whether it was with Yamaguchi or Shiro Rika, Kei had an escape from it all.Akiteru would say volleyball was his paradise, but with all the fantastic people on Karasuno's team, he didn't even get to play a game.He went there because of the legendary Coach Ukai, but it felt like a waste.A high school closer to their home and Amemaru Middle School would have been better.But no one needed to know that.His parents had enough to deal with.

Akiteru wanted to be a good brother to Kei.Lying to him nearly killed him.When Kei found out, it was right before the divorce.The fact that Akiteru sided with their father severed any hope that he would have a good relationship with his brother.

Kei was blind to their mother's tendencies.He loved her unconditionally.Of course, he would stay with her.He saw no fault in her. 

Akiteru didn't see his brother again until he found out about Shiro Rika.Kei had dark circles under his eyes and looked hollow.He was detached from every conversation.He had to take care of himself at home.Most of the time, he would wear long-sleeve and baggier clothing.Akiteru only stayed at the house for two days before heading back.It was painfully obvious how Kei didn't want his older brother there.

The next time was when Kei was admitted to the hospital.Just that once, his mother, now Tsukishima Umi as she took on her maiden name, called his father.He didn't go to visit Kei, but Akiteru did. 

Ever since then, they haven't seen each other.Kei wanted to be by himself.Akiteru went to a university in the prefecture just in case despite living in Tokyo with his father.

When his mother called again, Akiteru rushed to the hospital.With Kei's current depressed state, she had only been doing flights within Japan.She happened to be home when it happened, luckily.Still, she didn't know how long she would have until she would have to go back to work.She wanted family to be with Kei, even if it was the son that left her.

So, he made the thirty-minute drive to the hospital closest to Karasuno.When he entered the emergency room lobby, Akiteru scanned the room until his eyes fell on a small group of people.His mother was among them. 

"Okaasan," he said as he approached the group.His mother met his eyes.Hers were bloodshot from all her tears shed. 

"Akiteru..." she whispered.He recognized the Yamaguchi's, but there was also a young girl and two women. 

Akiteru sighed.He knew his mother had changed for the better, but he still couldn't get the obsessive mother out of his head."How is Kei?"

"We still don't know how Kei and (Y/N) are doing.They've been treating them since they got here an hour ago."

He took a seat next to the younger girl who was clinging to who looked like her mother.It must have been this (Y/N)'s sister."What happened?You didn't bother to tell anything on the phone other than he was in the hospital.Was it another suicide attempt?"

Akiteru could feel his brother's best friend's glare."We don't know what happened," the green-haired boy retorted."All we know is that the two of them fell from the roof of school."Yamaguchi then retreated."There was a lot of blood.I was so scared that they wouldn't make it."

"Okaasan, when will they let us see Oneechan and Kei-niichan?" the small girl pouted.No one wanted to answer her. 

Luckily, her question was answered when a doctor walked up to them."The Tsukishima and (L/N) families?"They nodded, even the ones that weren't technically apart of those groups."Their conditions are stable enough that they can be moved out of the ER.Once they get put in a room, you'll be allowed to visit them.I hope it's okay if they are in the same room?"The two mothers nodded, and the doctor continued."Good.That will make it easier to monitor both of their conditions.Since there could be psychological trauma when they wake up, it would be comforting to both of them."The doctor sighed and adjusted their glasses."Though, we have no idea when they could wake up. 

"They both lost a decent amount of blood, and Tsukishima Kei's skull was cracked.It's a miracle in itself that he doesn't have major nerve damage.Well, at least none that we could see.All of that will become more apparent when he wakes up.His ankle had rods and screws put into it to set it right.Two ribs were cracked from the fall.His left hand had multiple metacarpal breaks." He held up his hand and point to the back of his hand.

"As for (L/N) (Y/N), it's a blessing that she landed on top of him.If it had just been her that fell, there would be some major repercussions—only a hairline fracture on her right femur.With how weak they already are, it honestly a surprise.Her ribs are another case, though.Because of her condition, at least seven of them broke.Two of them have to be the upper ones.The rest are apart of the lower sets.There wasn't any lung damage that wasn't already there.I contacted Dr. Matsuda.He should be here shortly to talk and examine her case further."

"Thank you," (L/N)-san breathed.

"A nurse will come to get you when they're transferred."He bowed and went back. 

(Y/N)'s mother held her face in her hands and cried.The woman who sat next to her rubbed her back and comforted her.Her daughter was visibly upset even though she had no idea what happened to her sister.Akiteru's own mother was in a similar boat.The elder Yamaguchi tended to her.His brother's best friend looked as if he was about to break. 

The air in there was suffocating.Akiteru really didn't want to be in there any longer with the crying women. 

He turned to the little girl and whispered, "Do you want to come with niichan and get something from the vending machine?They have delicious candy."She looked at him with her watering eyes and nodded.She took his hand and led him that way.The parents barely noticed their departure. 

Once they were about after way, he asked for her name."I'm Ichika."

"I'm Takahashi Akiteru.I'm Kei's older brother."

"Aki-niichan, when will (Y/N) be able to come home?I know she's always sick, but it's been forever since she's had to spend the night here." 

That was interesting, to say the least.Akiteru caught that something was going on by how the doctor spoke, but Ichika had confirmed it.Now, if only he knew the connection between her and Kei."I don't know, Ichika.But, she'll be better soon.You'll see."

Her eyes lit up."Really?Then, that means Kei-niichan will be better soon, and then, we can watch movies together again."

Akiteru smiled.Perhaps, his brother was getting better.He was worried that he tried to commit suicide with (Y/N), and maybe, he did.But, they had people in their lives that would tell them that they were loved. 

~*~*~*~

It was dark, and he wasn't exactly sure where he was. Tsukishima Kei remembered falling. But, it seemed to be over in an instant. Now, he couldn't even see the hand in front of his face. Was he really dead? Or was this a crazy dream? 

He tried to move but was unable to. He heard voices. They were too far away to make out. There was the faint smell of flowers. A gentle warmth enveloped him. 

Then, the voices got closer. "For once, can you stop accusing me of cheating, you fucking bitch?" He flinched. It was his father's voice. 

"I know I'm gone all the time for work, but why don't you just love me like I love you?" his mother begged. "Why am I not good enough for you? What's so interesting that you have to sleep with her?"

"I'm not with another woman. I might not be the best person, but I am not unfaithful. I am your husband, and you are mine. Get that into your damn head, Umi!"

"You're lying!"

"I'm not!"

"Then, show me the evidence that you still love me. Not once this evening you have said those three words. Not once have you kissed me or hugged me or even touched me."

"You should know by now that I don't have to do anything of those things. You should know that even if I don't show affection, that affection is still there."

"Damn you! For someone playing the part of husband, you're doing a terrible job."

Tsukishima felt small. He remembered that night. He was curled up in his bed with his music blasting from his headphones. But, nothing drowned out their voices. 

That night he had cried himself to sleep. He hated it. He hated how they constantly fought. Their fights seemed so petty and useless. It made him feel like either side was right. He was torn. 

It happened to be one of the nights his brother had late practice for volleyball. Tsukishima was alone in the house with his parents. He had no one to talk to or to tell him it was okay. It was like they didn't care. They didn't care. They were so caught up in themselves that they left their son in the middle of the ocean on an island. No one would rescue. There was no way to swim to shore. He was stuck in that hellish place he called home. 

The noise and voices only got louder. Just when he thought it couldn't get any worse, another voice joined them. "Kei, let's break up." 

'No,' he thought to himself. 

"This isn't going to work," Shiro Rika said again. "There's no way. It's only going to end terribly."

'It did.' Though he couldn't hear his own words from that day, he still remembered how he rambled on. He didn't want the last anchor in his life to leave.

"I'm sorry, Kei." Then, he heard a peal of laughter he didn't remember. "Too bad, you're the one who should be sorry. You left me, Kei. You gave up. And, now, you're in love with another woman. Who says you aren't going to run as you did with me?"

'I'm not going to let that happen. It would be the same. This is my life. I decide how this story ends.'


	20. Morning

(Y/N) could barely move her fingers because she felt so stiff. What day was it? What time was it? Where was she? She felt so disorganized, but she knew the smell was not the same as her room at home. Neither was the bed as comfy. 

She couldn't remember what happened. The last thing she remembered was Tsukishima's warm embrace. One that just made her want to melt further into his arms. It made her feel as if she had nothing else to worry about. She was at home. Time would freeze. 

If she wasn't sure about it before, (Y/N) was definitely sure now. That feeling growing in her chest wasn't something for a friend. She wanted more than that. She wanted to his.

At bliss, she slowly opened her eyes. They locked onto the white ceiling. The room she was in was quiet and dark. The only sounds were machine whirring and her own assisted breathing. As she became more aware, the more wires and things she could feel connected to her. The main thing was the ventilator covering her mouth and nose and the IV in her right arm. 

It was nostalgic. Being in the hospital like this. She hated the smell of iodoform, and the room reeked of it. The stench was just pitiful. (Y/N) knew the more potent it was, the worse a patient's patient's injuries. 

It was sickly strong.

Her body hurt, and all (Y/N) wanted to do was sleep. Perhaps it was her breathing machine's steady rhythm, but she felt herself slowly lured into sleep.

~*~*~*~

There was light when she woke again. Hushed voices were in the corner. Her ear strained to hear them. 

"Akiteru, come on, you shouldn't be missing this much school," a woman said.

"I'm fine, Okaasan," a male replied. His voice was laced with annoyance like this wasn't the first time they had that conversation. "Seriously, the school understands the situation, and Otousan agrees with me that this most important. You have to work more than ever. Hospital fees aren't cheap. School can wait, but this can't. Stop being blind for once."

The woman sighed. "I hate how right you are. I need you here, so you can be the one to be there for him. This is frustrating. You're the one that chose to go with him, and I'm still begging you to come back."

"We can't rewrite the past, but we can put our differences aside. Otousan didn't come down because he knew it would be too much for you. Right now, I am the only family you have conscious and able to be there. Don't push that away."

The conversation felt really personal, so (Y/N) tried to ignore the voices. It confused her why they were in her room. But, that thought faded as sleep took over again.

~*~*~*~

The last time she woke up without anyone to really notice was after a bad nightmare. She had been alone in a tiled room, chained to a chair. Her eyes could only look forward. People she knew spoke behind her and whispered things in her ear. Every once in a while they would cross her vision. Then, they would leave her. (Y/N) could feel sharp pains in her body every time they left. The last person happened to be Tsukishima, and he caused the worst pain. Her heart felt like it was ripped in half.

When her eyes shot open, she was panting. Heart monitor was freaking out on the side from her increased heartrate. She couldn't breathe. It felt like she was dry drowning. Floaters crossed her vision. 

The monitor must have alerted someone because a nurse ran in. (Y/N) shuddered from the lack of air. Her ventilator just left like a waste of space.

"...panic attack..." she barely heard. Out of the corner of her eye she could see someone running into the room. (Y/N) was enveloped in a hug. She was shaking and started to cry. The person holding her kept telling her to breathe and to match her breaths. It was hard at first, but soon, (Y/N) calmed down enough to do it. 

Now that she felt alive again, she realized that the person hugging her was her mother. (L/N) Naomi looked grief-stricken. The dark circles under her eyes were very prominent, and there was none of the usual makeup that she normally wore. Her irises were surrounded by pink. 

"Okaasan..." (Y/N) said through the machine.

"My sweet (Y/N), you're finally awake," her mother whispered into her hair. 

"Awake? How long was I asleep for?" When she respond, (Y/N) became more desperate for answers. "Why was I asleep? What happened, Okaasan?"

"You don't remember?"She pulled back from her embrace with widened eyes.

The doctor assigned to (Y/N) walked up to the side of the bed."There's nothing to worry about.Temporary amnesia is common with head injuries, especially if there's some sort of mental trauma accompanying it.In time, you'll remember.Perhaps even if we tell you what we know happened, it might make you remember.There were no signs of a major concussion for you."

"Please, tell me what happened," (Y/N) begged."I don't want to be in the dark."

Her mother sighed."No one exactly want happened.We were hoping either you or Kei would know.Seeing as you're the first one of you two awake..."

"What?!"

"Eh, (Y/N)?"

"What do you mean I'm the first one awake?Where's Tsukishima?Where's Kei?"She could feel her heartbeat quickening again.The thought that something bad happened to him was too much.She had to know he was okay.She had to know that he wasn't going to be hospitalized for the rest of his life because of some damn thing she didn't remember. 

(Y/N) couldn't lose him right after she figured out how she felt.

"Kei is..." her mother started but was interrupted. 

"Tsukishima Kei is right beside you," the doctor said."We thought having you two in the same room would be better for your mental health."The doctor pointed to the right of (Y/N).Struggling, she slowly turned her head.There was the blond boy, looking almost dead beside her.His head was bandaged.He was only wearing the standard hospital pants and since the covers were off, his wounds on his chest must have recently been taken care off.Lastly, his right foot was elevated with a cast and his left hand was in a similar predicament. 

Their beds were far enough apart that a small table fit between them.On said table was flowers and various cards and get-well-soon things.There seemed to be a plethora of stuff from classmates and teachers.

(Y/N) couldn't explain it, but she had a sinking feeling this was all her fault. 

She tried to reach out to him the best she could.Her hand, painfully and slowly, lifted from the bed and moved towards him.She needed to touch him.She had to prove this was just some twisted nightmare.That everything would be fine in the morning.That the sun would rise, the birds would sing, she would go to school, and Tsukishima would tease her and call her Ichigo like always. 

But, she knew that it would never go back to normal.(Y/N) vividly remembered the bullying and the notes.She was completely aware that that had been real.But, him being in the hospital seemed absurd.

And, (Y/N) pleaded."Please, tell me what happened."

"No one's quite sure what led up to it, but the two of you fell from your school's roof," the doctor explained."A third-year girl saw you two and ran to get a teacher.They called an ambulance to get the two of you.When you made it here, we did everything we could to make sure you didn't lose too much blood.And, we had to set all your broken bones.There were other complications, hence the ventilator, but for the most part, you made it out on the luckier side."

"How long have we been asleep?"

"Nearly three weeks."(Y/N) gasped."I know it sounds like a lot, but part of that was medically induced.It's better for your injuries if you rest.After all, I don't think you'll be walking around with your fractured femur and broken ribs."

"When will I be able to leave?"

"Depends.Dr. Matsuda has been coming in periodically, but he doesn't have a definite answer, yet."He checked his watch and scowled slightly."I'm sorry, but I won't be able to take any more questions at the moment.I have to get ready for a surgery."

"It's fine," (L/N)-san said. 

"I'll have a nurse come in a little bit and have further check up after you have relaxed a little more.If anything is discomforting, please hit the button on the side of your bed."He bowed and left the room.

"(Y/N) dear, do you need anything?"

"No... I'm fine... just confused," she answered truthfully."I just want Kei to wake up."

Her mother smiled knowingly."And, when did you get on a first name basis with him?Hmm?"

"Come on, Okaasan, it's not that big of a deal."

"Granted he's the only friend that stayed the night since you were in primary school says otherwise."

"He got sick, though." 

Like a wave, she could hear a memory. "I left school because I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror with thinking how fucked up I was." 

(Y/N)'s hands shook at the sudden remembrance.Tsukishima had confessed how broken up he was inside.She wanted more than ever to embrace him. 

Because he was beautiful.He was a handsome guy, but that really didn't matter to (Y/N).No, he was beautiful because he could make her laugh and smile like no one had in years.She felt genuine with him.She had fallen for the small smiles, the simply sweet things, the defiance when she teased him of doing something for her, the way he looked after her, the way he seemingly didn't care about the world.To her, Tsukishima was a breathtaking abstract painting with a deeper meaning than what meets the eye.He was a puzzle and an enigma. 

Even though in their first real conversation, he attacked one of her main insecurities, he had grown to someone she could rely on.She trusted him without reason.She trusted him so much it almost scared her.It was inexplainable. 

When he woke up, she would tell him everything.


	21. Reunion

It was about a week later that they let her out of her room. It was in a wheelchair, but nevertheless, a great distraction. The room was starting to feel claustrophobic. No amount of TV could help her. 

The main reason was Tsukishima (or Kei, as she now had become accustomed to calling him) hadn't woken up. The room only let her think of him. Her feelings would always bubble to the surface. Once more, she had a small panic attack when she had the thought that he would never wake up. The event that happened was still hazy, but she felt the dread of it being her fault. If he wasn't awake, it was because of her.

(Y/N) tried her best to keep her thoughts clean and happy. The times Yamaguchi would visit were a great help. Since he was used to Kei acting that way, he knew exactly what to say to calm her down. He always tried to come every day, which was a godsend. Though, volleyball practice would run later than usual. After all, they had a new fire burning to fix what they were lacking and cover the tall hole Tsukishima left. They were eager to grow so that they could beat Aoba Johsai in the Spring Interhighs. They had lost to them around the time she woke up.

Yamaguchi tried his best to catch up (Y/N) up on everything that was happening at school. He said that Sato stepped forward a week after their fall and admitted that she had taunted and threatened (Y/N), which caused Kei to lash out. She and her friends got suspended, but they made Sato's shorter due to her confession.

Another thing was Himura. He had tried to talk to her after the incident. Yamaguchi figured that they could come visit together, but she refused. Anytime he tried even to make small talk, she ignored him or made an excuse to leave. (Y/N) explained their falling out. She thanked God that he didn't judge her for it. Honestly, that made her day.

Now, it was Saturday. Yamaguchi told her that the team planned on visiting after practice. They had sent things with him to her after she woke up, but this was the first time they would all come (apparently, they visited a couple of times in the three weeks after the fall).

"(L/N)-chan!" Hinata bounced into the hospital room.

"Hinata, this is a hospital. You can't just yell," Daichi scolded. "You could get us kicked out."

"But, Daichi! (L/N)-chan's awake!"

"Do you think she appreciates you yelling her ear? Also, good morning, (L/N)-chan."

Nishinoya and Tanaka rushed into the room with sparkling eyes. "(L/N)-chan!" they yelled together.

"Good morning, Nishinoya-senpai, Tanaka-senpai," (Y/N) said with a smile. She coughed a little into her handkerchief that they had given her. "Daichi-senpai, Hinata-kun is fine. I don't mind. Kei might have had a couple of words to say about it, though." She laughed at her own joke.

The second years jaws dropped. "Since when do you call that bean pole by his first name?"

(Y/N) waved her hands in front of her in embarrassment. "It's not... It's just it gets confusing when he's not the only Tsukishima in the room. Plus, he did it first."

"You're totally calling him by his first name because you want to," Yamaguchi said, walking over to her bedside with a glass of water.

"Yama!" (Y/N) covered her growing blush and took the glass of water. Flustered, she took a sip.

"Trying to deny the facts?" He smiled at her. God, she hated how playfully teasing he could be.

"Shut up, Yama."

"Sorry, (L/N)-chan!"

"Lies. You aren't sorry. You can't fool me."

"Caught me red-handed."

"Are we just going to ignore the fact that (L/N) sounded like Tsukishima?" Ennoshita asked.

"Yes, we are," Suga laughed.

"As much as I don't like it, I think you and Stingyshima would make a good couple!" Hinata said. The volleyball team either looked dumbfounded that Hinata was the one that said it, or they just nodded in agreement.

Yamaguchi was just laughing. "See, even Hinata agrees," he said. "If he saw it, it must be true."

"Yeah! Wait, what?"

"Nothing, Hinata."

He hummed in response. "(L/N)-chan, that tall meanie wouldn't just fall off a building with someone. He would have to be close with them."

That's when Hinata didn't know how badly he messed up. Luckily, Kageyama smacked him.

The rest of the team held their breaths in anticipation. They didn't know how she would react to it. The best-case scenario was she would laugh it off. The worst-case was she would cry.

Honestly, she didn't know what to do. Her head was spiraling. She was close to Kei. Kei got hurt because he was close to her. It was her fault. She should have known better than to let someone into her life like that. All she ever was going to do was hurt them.

"Hey, (L/N)-chan," Yamaguchi said, pulling her out of her trance. "The nurse said we could walk around the courtyard."

"Oh my gosh, I can finally get some fresh air," (Y/N) replied. "Flowers are nice and all, but they're starting to make me nauseous." She glanced at the nervously shifting teens. "The wheelchair is behind you, Kageyama-kun." Kageyama stiffed and turned around. He grabbed the folded-up chair and made his way to Yamaguchi. Kei's best friend prepped himself to lift (Y/N). It was something he had done once or twice without the help of the nurses. Her weight had dropped pretty dramatically without the use of her muscles and the lack of normal food. 

After Yamaguchi lifted her into his arms and into the chair, Sugawara grabbed the chair's handles. The team walked and joked around with her as they made their way down the hallway. Lots of the nurses waved at her. Once, they were stopped by one of the head nurses, who chatted with them all. 

She kept the talk about her condition on the down-low. (Y/N) wasn't ready for them to know. Only Yamaguchi knew because he was visiting every day he could. He was shocked at first. But then, it made sense to him why she didn't want to say anything, so he brushed it off. He was definitely gentler after he knew. She was glad that was really only the real change. 

The outside was exactly what she wanted. The gentle humming of insects and the smell of fresh summer leaves were refreshing. Above them, the sun beat down. It was an abnormally hot day for Miyagi. (Y/N) didn't care. She loved the way the warmth clung to her skin. Like a blanket enveloping her, it covered every inch. It was a stark difference to the chilly hospital room and the cold drip of an IV that usually ran through her veins. 

(Y/N) wanted to run, to feel the blades of grass beneath her feet. She wanted to jump and twirl and race from flower to flower. If it wasn't for her damaged femur, she could. But, the previous damage stalled the bone's ability to regrow. The doctors didn't know how long it would take to heal. Hopefully, she would at least be able to walk or be on crutches soon. 

The team chatted happily as they pushed her around. She smiled brightly. It was the most she had smiled since she got admitted to that godforsaken place. Her previous sense of abandonment from before the fall was slowly fading. It was still there, and the guilt of hurting Kei was still there, but she felt like she was going in the right direction.

A familiar blond entered the courtyard. He scanned the area until he smiled. Making his way over, he waved. "Aki-nii!" (Y/N) yelled as loud as she could. A small cough followed. Yamaguchi glared for a second before softening. She knew that Yamaguchi was still trying to come to terms with Akiteru being back in Kei's life.

"(Y/N)-chan, how are you?" the older brother greeted. "I was surprised when I heard the whole Karasuno Volleyball club was visiting. Usually, it's Yamaguchi-kun or your mom and Ichika when I visit."

"Yama said everyone wanted to visit, so here we are."

"Who are you?" Hinata asked.

"I'm Takahashi Akiteru, Kei's older brother," Akiteru said while bowing his head. 

"But, you have a different last name? How does that work?"

"Tsukishima is their mother's maiden name. Tsukki stayed with her, so they had their last name changed to it," Yamaguchi said. Venom laced in his voice. "Akiteru, here, moved to Tokyo with their dad."

"Yamaguchi..." (Y/N) whispered.

He sighed. "Sorry, Akiteru. I shouldn't have said it like that. But still, that's why, Hinata."

"I go to school in Sendai, so I'm about halfway between our parents," Akiteru said. He crossed his arms. "But, I really only come back here if there's an emergency." He looked away. Yamaguchi scoffed at it. 

Akiteru did really looked ashamed. He regretted leaving the way he did. (Y/N) had learned that about a week after she woke up. She still didn't know the whole story, but she got the gist. This was a problem that wouldn't fix itself with a talk over a cup of coffee. This would be a slow process. She hoped she could be there every step of the way.

"Aki-nii, did you bring strawberry shortcake?" (Y/N) asked, trying to get the tension out of the conversation. 

He laughed. "You and Kei have some obsession with strawberries," he said as he opened the bag he was holding. He pulled out a small plate of cake. Her mouth watered at the sight. 

She half-requested it because she wanted something other than hospital food. The other half was she just wanted something that reminded her of Kei. She had almost requested for him to bring a dinosaur plushie.

(Y/N) reached out like a child for the desert. Akiteru clicked his tongue and put it back into his bag. "Wait until we get back to the room. We can't have you spilling it, now?"

She smiled and demanded that she be taken back to the room.

~*~*~*~

It was about 7:30 by the time the last of the visitors left. Most of the team left around lunch. Suga, Hinata, Yamaguchi, and Akiteru were the only ones left by the end. It sure was a change of pace to the normally quiet room. But, now, it was back to the low drum of the machines and the sounds of nurses shuffling in the hallway. 

When they left her, she requested to be left in the wheelchair in between the beds. She had told them it was because she didn't want to lay down, but she held Kei's hand as soon as they left the room. It was cold and clammy, seemingly devoid of life. If it wasn't for the heart monitor, she wouldn't know if he was really still in this world. 

But, his hand twitched to her touch. It started to grab onto it. (Y/N) held her breath as she stared at the hand. Her gaze went to his face. 

She nearly fainted when she saw golden eyes.


	22. I'm Here

"Kei," she whispered. "Kei... Kei... you're awake."

His eyes widened. He couldn't see well, but he knew (Y/N) was right in front of him. Everything came back to him. The fall, her brokenness, her decision to end it all. All the negative emotions washed over him. Kei just wanted to cry and break down. 

He saved her in the process of hurting her.

"(Y/N)... Please... tell me this isn't a dream. Tell me this isn't the sick perversions of my mind trying to trick me and rip me apart. I can't take it if it is." A choked sob fell from his broken voice. It was like an overused recorded, scratchy and hard to understand. Hot tears poured like a hurricane from his eyes. 

"I'm here," (Y/N) reassured. "This is real. I'm real." Her grip tightened on his hand. A faint shaking could be felt. She sniffed and scoffed at herself. "I... I don't know how to react. I've been waiting for what seems like forever, but now, you're here. I'm at a loss for words. There's so much that I want to tell you, and I don't know where to start." She laughed. "We're a mess, aren't we?"

He only cried harder. By now, someone must have heard. The two were caught in their own little world. 

"I'm... so sorry. I was so weak. I should never let you get up to the side of the railing."

"Kei... if anything, it's my fault. You got hurt because I was hurting myself."

"Your pain will be my pain. I should have sensed the way you were feeling earlier and stopped you. It's my fault. I left you alone to deal with those bitches. I was too caught up in myself and..."

"Shut up, Tsukishima Kei..." (Y/N) whispered as she brought their hands up to her lips. "I can't stand it."

"(Y/N), please..."

"It's not your fault. It's all mine. You saved me. I would be dead if not for you. Don't degrade yourself. You're my hero and my savior. I don't remember much about what happened, but I know you saved me."

His heart seemed to stop. Her soft words were too much. Over and over again, he had heard variations of "Don't belittle yourself." But none of them hit him the way hers did. Perhaps it was his feelings for her, but it felt like it was the truth for once in his life. One of the padlocks on his heart's walls was broken.

"I... you're the most thoughtful and beautiful person I have ever met, (Y/N)," he breathed. "I never want to leave you. I'm so sorry you had to wait for me."

She cried into their hands and murmured to herself. He wanted to reach out and wipe her tears away, wipe away his own, but his body was too weak. His muscles were too out of use. 

Just how long was he asleep?

"(L/N)-san? Are you okay?" a female asked—a nurse Kei presumed—and then gasped. She ran out of the room and yelled something. Hurried feet came into the room. 

"Tsukishima-san? How are you feeling?" the doctor asked. 

"Weak," he responded.

"That's to be expected. Don't worry; physical therapy will help you get back on your feet." He turned to (Y/N). "(L/N)-san, I have to tell you to let go so that we can run some tests." She only squeezed harder on his hand. Kei really didn't want her to let go, but he also didn't want her to worry. "It shouldn't take too long. Then, the two of you can catch up. Right now, it's important that we go through and make sure there are no complications now that he's awake." Reluctantly, she put his hand back on the bed and let them set her on hers. Kei found himself closing his hand slightly in her absence. The skin there still felt warm from her touch, though slightly wet from her tears. 

She was right when she said they were a mess. They had both ended up in a hospital. Neither could walk. Both had wounds that weren't visible. They were like shattered glass, scattered and only hurting those around them. But, together, they were whole. They had found the glue to fix them.

~*~*~*~

It took about an hour before they left. Per their request, (Y/N) got moved to sit next to Kei in his bed. They had sat him up as well.

They checked his breathing, blood pressure, and a myriad of other things before asking him a long list of questions. They said that they would do an MRI, but they just had to monitor him and do physical therapy for the most part. They would see if there was any major brain damage from the fall when the images of the drain came through. 

(Y/N) and Kei were both relieved that nothing too serious came back. The two months of sleep allowed his body to heal without any complications. It was quite obvious how much weight he lost. He was already pretty lean, but he didn't expect to be nearly skin and bones. 

But he knew that it would come back. (Y/N) didn't seem to mind either.

"So, Kei," (Y/N) started, scooting a little closer. "I think we have some catching up to do."

"Oh? What's that supposed to mean?" Kei smirked. (Y/N) blushed at the comment. "Is that really why you want me to be awake? I'm not complaining."

"Shut up, Bean Pole."

"Aw, what happened to Kei?"

"What happened to the sappy guy from an hour ago?"

"Touché." He did his best to intertwine his fingers with her. She laughed at his attempt and finished the job. It was a long of work to even do that for him. "Anyway, all jokes aside. We do need to talk."

"I think it's fairly obvious that this is happening." She motioned to their hands. 

"You said you don't remember much about the rooftop." (Y/N) nodded, unsure of where this was going. "Then, I'll guess I'll have to say it again." He sighed and smiled. "I love you, (L/N) (Y/N)." Her whole face heated up. Subconsciously, she turned away and covered her face with her free hand. Kei smiled brilliantly at her reaction. When she turned back and saw that, she only blushed more. "I will always love you, (Y/N)," he whispered in her ears, giving her chills. She could feel her bones turning to jello. 

"K-Kei..." She swallowed hard and tried to calm her racing heart. "I love you, too..." It was quiet, though. Then, she gained more confidence. "That's the one thing that's gotten me through this time while you were asleep. I kept telling myself that you would wake up. Then, we could be together. For once, I didn't feel insecure about a thought like that. I didn't feel selfish."

It was his turn to blush. He clicked his tongue and squeezed her hand. "I'm... I'm glad. I was scared that you won't return these feelings. To hear that I helped you through, well, it makes me happier than I ever been these past few years."

"I want to continue to make you happy."

"I wish that, too. I don't ever want you to feel abandoned again. It hurt worse than when I hurt myself. When I said your pain is mine, I meant it. I would rather die a thousand deaths than see you unhappy."

A tear trickled out of her eye. "I hope you never have to get hurt because of me, but..."

"Don't. I choose to be with you. Don't think that you are going to hurt me."

"But..."

Kei sighed and rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. "I was scared of getting hurt. That's why it took me a while before I really came to terms with myself. But I'm not scared anymore. I don't care even if this road leads to hell. I want to walk it beside you. You make me feel alive, again." He closed his eyes. "I'm going to tell you my past. No one other than those who lived it with me knows. But you deserve to know before we get too deep into this.

"You asked me on the rooftop if I had thought about killing myself before. Maybe by now, you know that that's true. I'm sure they thought this whole mess was a failed double suicide." A small hitch formed in his voice with that last sentence.

"Kei..."

"Back in my first year of Middle School, I had a girlfriend named Shiro Rika. She was the light of my life. Kind, caring, funny, sympathetic. She made me forget all the troubles I had at home. All the fights between my parents faded. Rika was my escape from that. My brother had volleyball and wasn't at home. I was proud of him, but it still hurt me that he couldn't protect me from the words. 

"Rika and I had met our last year of elementary school but became friends when we were put in the same class. Yamaguchi used to joke about how I had a crush on her. He was right. Much to my surprise, when I confessed, she reciprocated those feelings.

"At the end of the year, before the spring high, my parents had one of their biggest fights, yet. Akiteru hadn't come home. I was alone. I cried myself to sleep. There was a nagging feeling that whole night that I shouldn't worry Rika about it. After all, at the time, we had only been dating for a couple of months. A week later, Yamaguchi and I went to see Akiteru play, but he wasn't a starter. He wasn't the ace. He lied to me. He left me alone when he wasn't even a fucking starter. Karasuno's team was huge at the time. You had to be the best of the best to be one of those six. I supported him because I thought he was good enough for that. But, he wasn't; he wasn't even good enough for the bench. He just didn't want to come home to them. Akiteru wanted to stay as far away as possible. 

"Two weeks later, my parents divorced. Akiteru and my dad left for Tokyo. We changed our last name. My mom couldn't bear to even hear Takahashi. She didn't want to do anything other than sleep and work. I cooked and cleaned the house. Most of the time, Yamaguchi or Rika would help me, but there were days I was stuck in that lonely house. The quiet chiming of the clock on the wall my only companion. I think that's really when it started. They certainly realized how much colder I was. They didn't mind. Just smiled through it. Yamaguchi even came up with the nickname Tsukki as a way for him to remember my new last name. Rika always did her best to remind me that she was always there.

"But, then, she wasn't. At the beginning of our second year, her parents got into a car crash. Her mom died, and her dad is still in a coma to this day. Because she was left on her own, her aunt, five hours away, took her in. I didn't realize it at the time, but Rika descended fast. That's why it was so scary seeing you on the rooftop. It was déjà vu. I thought it was just the grief of her parents' death to the world." Kei stopped and let tears fall from his eyes. His breath was shaking. "I should have paid more attention.

"Before she left, she broke it off with me. She told me that she didn't think it would work out. After all, we were just thirteen years old, turning fourteen. How would we make a long-distance relationship work? I cried. I couldn't stop crying. The empty home felt emptier. I was sick of seeing my mom drunk or a mess because she didn't feel like doing anything to tidy herself up. It was suffocating. My paradise in Rika was gone and never coming back.

"I didn't even think to text her. But, two months later, I get a message from her phone. It was her aunt. Rika had killed herself by stabbing her chest three times. The only reason her aunt knew to tell me was because of a note she left behind. 

"The funeral was torture. Being a gory death, the casket was closed. I didn't even get to see her one last time. Just like that, she was six feet underground. That was one of the only times Akiteru visited. I was a mess. The night of her funeral was the first time I cut myself. They were shallow and on my wrists, but they provided the relief I needed." He flipped his wrist over. (Y/N) traced the thin white lines. More and more, she cried. 

"Kei..."

"They got deeper and deeper the more I did it. No one knew, so that no one could stop it. My mom didn't think anything was up. She was still feeling the effects of the divorce. There wasn't anything. It was lonely. I cut myself at home, at school, anywhere I could without being caught. If the urge was there, I would do it. Separating myself from everything felt natural. Even Yamaguchi didn't ask what was wrong. He knew it had to do with Rika, but he figured I was fine. He didn't think I was eating myself up from the inside. No one did. I was strong. Why would I hurt myself?

"Then, I was brought to the edge. I let it all loose and cut myself in a place I knew would be the end. I didn't want to die like Rika. I wasn't going to stab myself. Spilling my guts seemed like a fitting ending." His free hand twitched. He sighed as he couldn't move it. "Move my hospital shirt out of the way. Under my waistband is the worst scar." 

Hesitantly, she moved it. A burning red slash laid across it. It was angry and full of pain. Even though she knew it was two years ago, it seemed so fresh. (Y/N) wanted to hurl. She could feel every emotion put into it. The slight deviation at the end of where he hit a major artery. Gently, she moved her hand on it. There was a slight indention in the skin. 

"It's a constant reminder of that day. It stays hidden because of how low it is, so no one knows. I still had a strong personality. The people in my class back at Amemaru Middle School knew something was up. My teachers knew. I could feel the tension in the air. That's why I came to Karasuno. Most of my classmates went to schools in the area. With Karasuno being the high school my brother went to, our house is about halfway in between. Yamaguchi came with me and stuck by my side. Now, he's much more observant and makes sure to ask me how I'm doing continuously. But, after that attempt, I calmed down. I didn't want to end up again in a hospital with everyone worried if I would snap again. Even my mother changed everything so that she could be a good mother again. But, nothing was the same.

"Then, I met you. Once again, I had a crush that developed. Yamaguchi saw right through me. It wasn't even a month into school before he asked me about it. You reminded me of her in the beginning. I guess my heart and mind still clung to that." (Y/N) squeezed his hand. "But, that's not how I feel now. You are your own person with your own likes and dislikes, your own problems and views. I fell in love because you were you." Their eyes met, and they both stayed quiet. Neither really wanted to say anything. The silence was comfortable for once. It wasn't deafening. "I don't know what comes next," he started, again, "but I promise to love you with all my being. I want to get better. I want to heal each other. I want to find my purpose in you. Constantly, I want to tell you that you are beautiful and kind and worthy of all my affection. In you, I want to feel like I can love without feeling worthless. 

"I want you and all that comes with that. Be it rain or shine. Even a typhoon can't shake us. I want to live through it all. I want to live a story with you. I want to be a piece of art more beautiful than any work of Van Gogh and Monet. No one can come between us. I know it sounds over the top, but that's how I feel."

(Y/N), sobbing from happiness, hugged Kei tightly. Her face was nuzzled into his shoulder and neck. "Kei, I want to breathe the same air as you. You fill the hole in my heart. I love you... I love you so much. You're my knight in shining armor. I can't imagine living the rest of my life without you. I want to live my burdens with you for as long as I have left. No little how short that is."

"Short?" he questioned. She could feel his head slowing laying on hers, but she pulled back and smiled through the tears.

"I have osteosarcoma. I don't know how much longer I have or if I will even make it out alive."


	23. You’re Here

When (L/N) (Y/N) first heard she was sick, she didn't really believe the doctors.Sure, she knew that cancer was a common thing, but she just couldn't imagine actually living through it.Her mom and dad sobbed hard that night when they thought she and Ichika were asleep.She knew that hospital bills weren't exactly the easiest thing to pay off.Even with her dad's well-paying engineering job, they would barely scrape by. 

She hated that she was the cause of the problems.All she wanted was to live life to the best of her ability.Now, everything was falling.Her dad soon would accept a job in America where the market is better for his engineering field.He would be able to earn enough, and their insurance would pay for the rest. 

(Y/N) felt like she had split the family up.Even after recovering, the lingering bills still kept him there.She tried not to think of the guilt. 

"I was diagnosed back in sixth grade," (Y/N) told Kei."It came back last year.I don't usually tell people because I don't want them to pity me.The faculty know, though.That's why they treat me differently."

"So, the times you've sat out of gym?" Kei asked.He nudged her so that they can hold hands again.She smiled at his acceptance and complied. 

"Yes.My cancer was in my thighs, specifically my right femur, and a little in the left and the pelvis, and because of it, there's pain at times.I have to be careful not to break them, even now.Well, I kind of broke that rule.The bone marrow doesn't make as much as cells as it should be—the lasting effects of chemo and surgery—, and they don't grow or heal properly.Right now, it's spread to my ribs.It hasn't made it to my lungs, so for now, I'm fine.But, if it does, my survival rate isn't that great.They're worried that chemo could destroy my immune system.Surgery is an option.Frankly, with all these broken ribs, it might be best.They're already ruined." (Y/N) laughed like her joke was so funny. Kei was mortified by it. He never made fun of his suffering, but here was the girl he loved laughing about her own pain. "Seriously, I don't know what to do. Any option can leave me seriously messed up or dead. My body didn't react very well to chemotherapy last time. There's no guarantee that it would do the same thing, but the possibility is there. I'm scared of it."

"Back on the rooftop," Kei said, "you said that you wanted to decide when you die. Is this why?"

"Yes. I hate it. I hate that I know I could very well die soon. I have no control over it—no one has control. But, I was dealt the worse hand. For a long time, I thought about how unfair it was."

"Whoever said life was fair? Look at both of us. Together but broken by our pasts. Shells of our former selves walking this earth. None of it is fair. I don't believe in 'You get what you deserve' because neither of us deserved this shit.

"But with you, it seems bearable."

(Y/N) smiled and laid her head on his shoulder. She took in his scent—the chill of the hospital ever-present in it. But, there was a familiar warming feel to it. The ever-present human heat was calming. She wasn't used to it. The hospital had made her accustomed to being alone. Having him here was the greatest comfort of all. She prayed and prayed that the moment would last forever. (Y/N) didn't want to share Kei's time with anyone else. She missed him so much. Anyone that encroached on them would only take him away from her. The separation anxiety was catching up to her.

All she wanted was to bathe in his presence. So, she closed her (E/C) eyes and felt contented. Soon enough, she felt his blond hair tickling the side of her face and his head on top of hers. Her lips curved into a smile, and into sleep, she fell.

"You shine like the stars" was the last thing she heard.

~*~*~*~

It was about 8:30 p.m. when Yamaguchi got a call from Akiteru. The college student was making a run to Tokyo as his father wanted him to come home for Sunday. His father had gotten a girlfriend a couple of months ago, and they planned for the two families to meet. Akiteru figured it would be okay since it was only a day. On the train ride, the hospital called him, informing him of Kei's current condition. Their mom was on a flight, so he thought it would be best to call the Yamaguchi's.

Yamaguchi Tadashi practically ran out of the house when he heard Kei was awake. His mom tried to ask him what was up but failed. He made his way to the hospital. It was about a twenty-minute walk but a ten-minute run. Rushing there as fast as he could, Yamaguchi arrived at the building a sweating mess. Not that he really noticed.

"Tsukishima... Kei..." he panted to the front desk lady. She was someone he didn't recognize, so she gave him an awfully confused look. 

"Sir, visiting hours are over," she politely said. 

"I'm family." Well, like it.

"I can't let you go back there. I have to ask you to come back in the morning."

"Please..."

"Sir..."

"Oh, Yamaguchi-kun!" one of the nurses gasped.He couldn't remember her name, but he had seen her tending to Kei numerous times.She obviously remembered him."Are you here to see Tsukishima-san?"

"Yes, ma'am," he responded, ignoring the receptionist that was still trying to tell him he couldn't be there."Takahashi Akiteru sent me over."

"Ah, yes.We called him thirty minutes ago.He said that he would contact you."

"So, he is really awake?"

She nodded."I'll take you back."

"But," the receptionist started, "that's against company policy!"

"The patient he wants to see has had a breakthrough.Hence, the one exception to the policy is filled.I will take him back to see the patient."The receptionist grumbled to herself as Yamaguchi walked past.The nurse smirked at the dissatisfied look on her face."I swear the ones we get on the night shift are a pain in the ass," she whispered to him."They revel in telling people they can't see their loved ones.I understand the policy but at least check to see if it is a family called so they could visit.Anyway, you know where to go.No one should get in your way.They know you by now.I have paperwork to tend to."She waved and walked in the opposite direction. 

The halls were quiet.Yamaguchi knew that most of the patients were probably asleep by now or winding down, hence why the visiting hours were over.He tried his best to quiet his footfalls.The faint echo was still heard, though.Every so often, he would hear the low volume of a TV or radio.Other times it was the faint buzzing of a machine.Another, the discussion between nurses.

As he neared the room, he saw two nurses outside the door.The two women were seemingly gossiping and seemed over-the-top happy about something.He knew one of their faces as a nurse that tended to (Y/N) a lot, but the other one was unknown. 

"Oh my God, it almost hurts that we have to move her," the unknown one with brown hair tied back said.

"I know right," the other replied."They seem so peaceful, but they would scold us if we let them stay there."

"If we wake them up, do we have to move them?They could tell us to come back later."

"I swear Moniwa-san will kill us if she heard this conversation."

Yamaguchi was honestly confused.Still, he made his way up to the nurses.They jumped and breathed out a sigh when they saw him."We're sorry.We'll get out of your way."The two women scurried away.

When he entered the room, he was met by the peaceful sight of the two of them sleeping.It made sense, now, why the nurses were hesitant to move them.It wasn't the typical sight of the two hooked up to wires.But, instead, a scene that seemed normal, or at least would have if not for it being the hospital. 

(Y/N)'s head laid across Kei's shoulder with his head on top of hers.Their fingers were laced together, resting on Kei's left leg.(Y/N) had curled into him a bit.The two were out like a light.Even without being awake, it confirmed that Kei was back.He was here. 

Yamaguchi smiled and sat down on (Y/N)'s empty bed. He turned on his phone and sent a quick text to Akiteru.Then, he opened up the Karasuno group chat.Taking a pic of the two, he sent it to them.

Karasuno VBC

From Yamaguchi: (One picture attached) Tsukki woke up! 😄

From Tanaka: HE FELL ASLEEP WITH MY PRECIOUS (Y/N)-CHAN

From Noya: HOW DARE HE!WE MUST PROTECT OUR KOUHAI

From Ennoshita: Shut up, you little shits.You're being insensitive. 🙄🙄

From Suga: He's right.Tsukishima just woke up.Be more considerate.But oh my gosh they're soooooo cute

From Tanaka: BUT (Y/N)-CHAN MUST BE PROTECTED

From Suga: No buts they're adorable

From Daichi: Listen to Suga.

From Noya: The parents are teaming up again😨😨

From Daichi: Shut up before I make you do flying laps the whole practice.

From Hinata: YAMS TELL TSUKKI I SAID HI😄😄😄

From Kageyama: That's all you have to say Dumbass?

From Hinata: Of course Bakageyama I going there tmrw

From Kageyama: We have practice tmrw

From Hinata: After practice

From Hinata: C'mon this isn't that hard

From Yamaguchi: I'll make sure to tell him you say hi.Idk how he's feeling, though.I just walked into them sleeping.

From Tanaka: I can’t believe I'm saying this butttttt

From Tanaka: Tsukishima + (Y/N)-chan confirmed💞💞

From Noya: Tsukishima + (Y/N)-chan confirmed💞💞

From Tanaka: I can't believe he got a girlfriend before his best senpai

From Noya: The senpai disrespect

From Tanaka: Senpai disrespect😢

Yamaguchi snickered at the pair. They really did enjoy spending time teasing the first years, even if Kei wasn't in the group chat at the moment. 

To his right, he heard shuffling. Yamaguchi glanced over. He saw Kei lifting his head slowly and rolling it to the best of his ability. He smiled at (Y/N) and murmured something to himself. His thumb rubbed the back of her hand, and she adjusted to snuggle up closer to him. 

Then, Kei looked over. His face filled with shock. "Yamaguchi," he breathed out. 

"Tsukki," Yamaguchi replied with the same awe and shock. Sure, he had heard Kei was awake, but there was nothing like seeing it with his own eyes. Talking to him seemed like a dream after the past two months. He even pinched himself to make sure it was real. "You're... really awake..."

"Yeah..." It was a tad bit louder than his first response, but Yamaguchi could sense the scratchiness in it. "It's good to be back."

"It's good to have you back. I just can't believe that you're really here."

"I'm really here."

"You're here." Yamaguchi could feel the water running down the front of his face. To have his best friend back meant everything to him. Yamaguchi didn't admit it out loud, but it was lonely without him. The team felt dreary without his snide remarks about the idiotic happenings and overenthusiasm. Hinata did his best to stick by him (with that came Kageyama). He was grateful for the first years' new camaraderie, but it still didn't fill the hole. Only visiting and talking with (Y/N) really helped close the gap for the time spent.

But Kei was back now. Yamaguchi wouldn't have to live in constant worry. There was recovery.

"Come on, don't cry, now. I already got enough tears from this one," Kei said while rolling his eyes. He smiled and laughed at Yamaguchi's pricelessly shocked face. "What? Has two months without me really gotten you used to living without my remarks? Seriously, Yamaguchi, you can't move on that fast."

Now, it was his turn to laugh along, "I'm still in shock, Tsukki. At least, let me process this." After a minute or two of just them laughing, Yamaguchi continued, "So, how does it feel?"

"Amazing." He saw his eyes flick down to the girl on his shoulder.

"Are you two together, now?"

"Yes, and I wouldn't change that for the world."


End file.
